Key aspects that make it work for me are the following:
* Accept a long commute to a more family-friendly community with good schools.
* Live near BART and use it everyday.
* Work in the city, not the South Bay.
* Make sure you have two strong professional incomes.
* Pay for good quality child care and/or after school care.
* Pay the high housing costs and accept that you will redirect a good portion of your investments towards housing here. And it won't be as nice.
All in all its been worth it for me. I am working with extremely smart, driven people who I am learning a ton from. I don't have to hide my political views, and everyone has been open and accepting. It has been very easy for us to make great friends in a short time.