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Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

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Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#41

Post by elcapitan »

lgieron wrote: post #31
johnwheeler wrote: post #2

This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software). New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books. A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of w…

The flip side of being in the flow is that you're not learning much (the task is literally so easy for you that you can lose yourself in it).

I guess that's the point, to step back from the desire to always find something better. This somehow implies that you don't actively challenge yourself to learn new stuff. You could however learn new things nevertheless, but I guess the idea is not self-improvement, but getting at peace with yourself, and maybe also your limitations.

(Not advocating that, that's just how I would understand the concept)

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#42

Post by elcapitan »

puranjay wrote: post #30
johnwheeler wrote: post #2

This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software). New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books. A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of w…

I'm struggling with this as well. Working for the sake of pleasure. It seems that I'm so fixated on how the end result will turn out that I've forgotten the joy of actually doing the work.

If you want a more sociological take on this, read "The Craftsman" by Richard Sennett.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#43

Post by _pmf_ »

kstenerud wrote: post #38

What did it for me was choosing to behave as if I lived a charmed life. I'd make my plans under the assumption that it would work out. Things would very rarely go wrong (thus reinforcing the charmed life angle), and if they ever did, it wouldn't be that hard to fix it anyway. People will forgive an amazing number of things, and the worst case scenario just doesn't happen in practice. It's amazing how much baggage you…

> What did it for me was choosing to behave as if I lived a charmed life.

And on a global scale (and a historic view), we actually and undoubtedly do.

"The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" discusses this in depth (and in an actually applicable manner).

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#44

Post by faitswulff »

muhuk wrote: post #34
sygma wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My understanding of flow is that it is triggered when the task is neither too easy or too hard. It's a sweet spot that maximizes your engagement with the task at hand.

Why can't so easy for you that you can lose yourself in it fall within neither too easy or too hard range?

Because it fails to emphasize that there is any difficulty at all.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#45

Post by robteix »

This article reminds me a lot of my personal experience with cognitive behavioural therapy.

I've long suffered from social anxiety and after years of anti-anxiety drugs and some therapy, I finally tried CBT and it was essentially:

- write down the thoughts

- identify what triggered them

- find alternative (positive) conclusions

At first I thought it was ridiculous but it actually works after a while.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#46

Post by [deleted] »

muhuk wrote: post #34
sygma wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My understanding of flow is that it is triggered when the task is neither too easy or too hard. It's a sweet spot that maximizes your engagement with the task at hand.

Why can't so easy for you that you can lose yourself in it fall within neither too easy or too hard range?

[deleted]

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#47

Post by mtreis86 »

simonswords82 wrote: post #26
kriro wrote: post #25

I talked to some psychologists at a conference a while back and they were mildly opposed to "positive psychology" on the grounds of crowding out healthy negative thoughts with positive ones being potentially detrimental to learning and potentially harmful with non-understood side effects. They said the research isn't exactly conclusive and noted that there's a lot of snake-oil salespeople branding themselves with "po…

That's interesting, I'd love for somebody with more knowledge to chime in. As a layperson my response to a psychologist who was critical of positive psychology would be "okay fine, let's assume you're right - what would you recommend people do to help themselves get better if not mindfulness, CBT or some other form of mental programme to improve their mental wellbeing?". I totally agree that there are people selling…

I am not sure mindfulness falls into 'positive psychology'. Accepting things for what they are, seems neutral to me.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#48

Post by Disruptive_Dave »

mtreis86 wrote: post #47
simonswords82 wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's interesting, I'd love for somebody with more knowledge to chime in. As a layperson my response to a psychologist who was critical of positive psychology would be "okay fine, let's assume you're right - what would you recommend people do to help themselves get better if not mindfulness, CBT or some other form of mental programme to improve their mental wellbeing?". I totally agree that there are people selling…

I am not sure mindfulness falls into 'positive psychology'. Accepting things for what they are, seems neutral to me.

This. At least the mindfulness I practice (rooted in Buddhist teachings, not tied to them however) is definitely not driven by an expected outcome of "positivity." Oddly enough, this has led me to a more positive outlook, generally speaking.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#49

Post by bewe42 »

lgieron wrote: post #31
johnwheeler wrote: post #2

This article hits home. Five years ago, I created a SaaS app that did well, followed by one that did less so, and another that flopped (all eBay selling software). New projects weren't having as much an impact and making me feel good, so I sat around reading books. A turning point came when I read two: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and On Writing by Stephen King. The first teaches we get optimal experience out of w…

The flip side of being in the flow is that you're not learning much (the task is literally so easy for you that you can lose yourself in it).

Not at all. Flow is reached the moment I tackle a challenge that is just a bit above my skills. Then I learn. Learning something new does not have to be unpleasant. It is not easy to find the adequate challenge at each moment but it's possible and that's why some teachers, courses, books etc are much better than others.

Re: Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head

#50

Post by d3lxa »

> Imagine that you have a friend who is exactly like you in every respect. Give him a name. Then pretend he is telling himself the same destructive thoughts you tell yourself.

You may also be interested by the IFS therapy method which allows one to stays in Self and discusses with his inner voices/personas with curiosity and goodwill. You can read http://www.selfleadership.org/ and the self-therapy a step by step guide.

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