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All the lonely people

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Re: All the lonely people

#21

Post by ktRolster »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

I'd bet it helps that you can talk to people whenever you want on this website (and others). Human interaction.

Re: All the lonely people

#22

Post by sseagull »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

I get that feeling as well, sometimes. Even though I don't want quite your level of isolation, I don't mind working alone or not talking to anyone else in person for days (except my wife).

I sometimes think of it as the 'tyranny of the extroverts'. Since they are, well, extroverted, they are the ones controlling the narrative of what's 'normal', while the introverts are too introverted to really speak up. Extroverts are the ones saying cities are better than rural areas since there's more to do, etc (see other HN threads).

I'm with you, though. I will take a quiet, rural or semi-rural area over a city any day.

Re: All the lonely people

#23

Post by jmspring »

protomyth wrote: post #8
xj9 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is something that needs to be addressed. We are becoming more secular over time, but we aren't replacing the communities that churches create with secular equivalents, at least not on the same scale. Feeling connected is important, we really need to work on that.

I doubt we will since it would take a common belief that emphasizes charity and group togetherness. The most interesting secular meeting place is McDonalds for a lot of older people. Its cheap and you can often sit there a while, but McDonalds doesn't really have an equivalent of the local preacher.

Or Taco Bell or whatever local cheap eatery is in the local neighborhood.

Re: All the lonely people

#24

Post by phantom_oracle »

and unlike solving the problem of horizontal scaling, a mathematical equation or something with a clear solution, there is no clear, Silicon Valley style cure to this problem.

You can't exactly Facebookify people who are lonely.

Also, AFAIR(r=recall), Japan has a similar issue of loneliness.

Makes you wonder though. Even if you cure the economic (poverty) and health issues (living into your old age), something else will probably get you (depression, loneliness, boredom, etc.)

Re: All the lonely people

#26

Post by kstenerud »

ktRolster wrote: post #21
kstenerud wrote: post #16

The more I read about this, the more weird I think I must be. I've always preferred being alone. My time in San Francisco was utter hell. I couldn't get a moment away from people and noise. Now I live in complete isolation. My nearest neighbor is two miles down a dirt road. I only go into town to stock up on foods, which I vacuum seal and stuff in the deep freeze (enough to last me 3 months at a time). I've never bee…

I'd bet it helps that you can talk to people whenever you want on this website (and others). Human interaction.

I suppose so. This is the only site I participate in, but I usually end up posting a comment every week or two.

Re: All the lonely people

#27

Post by lisper »

stephengillie wrote: post #20
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

Are you neighborly with the homeless people and beggars in your neighborhood? This is a genuine question. How do you interact with people who live on your street but do not have shelter?

I spent two years getting to know many of the homeless people in (what was at the time) my neighborhood, and made a movie about the experience:

http://graceofgodmovie.com

You should watch it. I think you might be surprised. I was.

Re: All the lonely people

#28

Post by coderdude »

stephengillie wrote: post #20
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

Are you neighborly with the homeless people and beggars in your neighborhood? This is a genuine question. How do you interact with people who live on your street but do not have shelter?

I am. I look them in the eyes and treat them like people. I know from the people I talk to that the worst part is having everyone ignore you and not treat you like a fellow human. It breaks my heart. It sucks out there. We might be off topic but I get you.

Re: All the lonely people

#29

Post by asksol »

ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

I was also brought up to greet people, but try to greet neighbors in London, UK and they will look at you like you fell from the sky. Most of them will not even give a response. Big cities are a lot like this now.

Re: All the lonely people

#30

Post by ptaipale »

50CNT wrote: post #11
xj9 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is something that needs to be addressed. We are becoming more secular over time, but we aren't replacing the communities that churches create with secular equivalents, at least not on the same scale. Feeling connected is important, we really need to work on that.

Germany has the Vereinswesen, which are small clubs around a common hobby (such as shooting, football, gymnastics, orchestra, basketball, etc.) that are usually part of a larger Verband, which may be state or country-wide like the DFB (German Football Federation), the DBB (German Basketball Federation), DSB (German Shooting and Archery Federation), or the BDMV (Association of German Music Societies). That could be a…

And it is in many countries, but for some reason the U.S. doesn't seem to work that way. I was a bit surprised when my son spent a year in high school in the U.S. and I found out how youth football (soccer) system works there. Over here in Europe, we have a plethora of local clubs that collect the young and old to train and play, and to work together to organise everything, fund it, and so on. In the U.S. the football (again, soccer) seems to be predominantly organised by schools, and a very small part of players belong to actual soccer clubs. I understand the same is true with other sports (American football, baseball, basketball, etc). Similarly we have lots of clubs that arrange things like music and orchestra trainings for youth, whereas in the U.S. this is also organized around schools.

This is good in many ways - for instance, the integration of activities to the school day helps it for kids - but at the same time, it makes the school's "quality" (in terms of what the teachers and staff are like and what kind of parents the children have) all so important. If the school fails, then everything will. And if you don't have kids at school, can you really contribute to the community in the same way as a seasoned football veteran can in a local club?

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