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Edit: I replied to the wrong comment somehow - my apologies, I meant to reply to the person who was talking about marriage=prison.
How so? How could there be - marriage can be created by two people to their liking? OK, that is a presupposition, that the rules are not fixed. Is it wrong? If it fails, there is even the possibility of divorce.
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How so? How could there be - marriage can be created by two people to their liking? OK, that is a presupposition, that the rules are not fixed. Is it wrong? If it fails, there is even the possibility of divorce.
If what you are saying is true then characterizing marriage as 'prison' makes even less sense, which is exactly my point.
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How so? How could there be - marriage can be created by two people to their liking? OK, that is a presupposition, that the rules are not fixed. Is it wrong? If it fails, there is even the possibility of divorce.
If what you are saying is true then characterizing marriage as 'prison' makes even less sense, which is exactly my point.
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This is just an analysis of the author, in no point it addresses the issue that she mentions. The "psych" just calls her ideas "dangerous" in the end, and sticks to an ad-hominem. I'd like to read someone who can actually find a counter-argument to her thesis and convince me that the best thing women can do is to hold on to their ideal all the way to the end.
Ad hominem isn't always a fallacy. Now, I don't know if this analysis of the author is necessarily accurate , but it smacks of plausibility to me because I've seen it before. As people, both men and women, remain single as they get older, they grow more and more accustomed to thinking almost entirely about their own concerns. This kind of self-focus makes it harder and harder to establish and maintain relationships.…
Women on the other hand appear to have all manner of weird neuroses about what constitutes "Mr Right.", so vast is the span of options it is not possible to really outline them all, they even conflict in many cases "Works hard, financially secure, can take the kids to soccer practice and let me focus on my career".
At any rate, I don't understand why from a man's perspective marrying a woman from abroad isn't the obvious option. They tend not to have the lifestyle that contributes to what is fundamentally the definition of "average human appearance" being skewed wildly with weight or the long term effects of cosmetics on skin quality etc etc etc.
For what it's worth for me personally, I think all you humans are crazy and I'm perfectly happy to not be codependent, but whatever blows your hair back.
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You presume wrongly. Communities begin with a "primary demographic"—people who are there for what it says on the tin. Over time, though, these communities start to lure in "secondary demographics" that are interested in both the community topic and other topics, but then those people in turn lure in "tertiary demographics," who aren't interested in the stated purpose of the community at all, only about the hybrid on-…
To me, "on topic" means an article that is a) not conventional/obvious, b) deep, in the sense that it provides greater analysis than most newspapers/magazines/blog posts, and c) makes me think of some process, idea, trend, method, or ideology in a new way (which ties back into a). All three of those could be further developed as points, but I think they nonetheless help describe what HN is about. I think "Marry Him!"…
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I'm interested in hacking, startups, and also the OP article. Why do you claim I don't exist?
You exist; you are exactly within the "secondary demographic" I mentioned.
Here's a rational approach that may be appreciated here :) Make a concious decision to try and settle down with one of the first 6 girls you date. Here's the rules: 1) don't settle for the first one you date. 2) the next one you date that is better than the first one you dated is the one you settle for. Why? Do the math. Let's label them 123456. If you date 1 first, you have 1 in 5 chance of ending up with any of the…
You should look at http://www.parabola.unsw.edu.au/vol45_no2/node2.html which derives that the best strategy is to use the first 1/e of your potential dating life to set a baseline, and then choose the best partner that exceeds it.
In the case of a woman is different. Assuming her prime is between 20-33; her strategy should be to date until 24 and then marry the best man that exceeds it. right? edit: grammar
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You exist; you are exactly within the "secondary demographic" I mentioned.
Unless you are claiming the "primary demographic" are a bunch of monomaniacal fruitcakes, everyone here is part of your "secondary demographic".
A "demographic"—think TV viewers—isn't composed of what people like in general, but only why they're interacting with your community in particular. The original primary demographic of HN was "Hackers who are here to talk about Startups." That demographic is very small, so it was replaced by its own secondary demographic, "Hackers who are here to talk about Whatever Hackers Like Talking About."
Now, the secondary demographic is "non-hackers who like talking about some of the same stuff hackers talk about," and the tertiary demographic is "non-hackers who only care about the stuff that the other non-hackers talk about, and don't care about anything that hackers care about."
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I'm not sure if my situation is comparable since I'm a lot younger then you are and I haven't married yet. but I can relate to the feelings you describe. I settled when my ego bursted into shiny balls of flame and I really needed someone I could trust 100%. shifting your ambition away from relationships and learning to compromise is the hardest part.
Oh, I dig the "trust 100%" part. When I act like a sociopath and dump a job or a woman, trust issues are always a big part of it. I don't trust my boss/girlfriend enough to talk to him/her about what makes me uneasy, and/or do anything to improve things. So I just cut it off. I am lucky enough right now to have a woman that I trust 99%. I'm still unsure about moving in and marriage, but you made me realize how import…
the getting from 99% to 100% part is good. Perhaps you won't be able to get beyond 99% because of something in your past that makes you reluctant to do 100%. 99% is pretty fucking good if you ask me.