Tons of great comments in this thread.
I would recommend the book "essentialism".
You can't do it all. You need to define what is the most important things and avoid everything else. This is how you get balance and reduce stress.
Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#32I would look up Ramit Sethi's courses on negotiating a raise and promotion. In your case, you can already justify one. Try to use his kind of phrasing. I've used it to great effect. Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#33I'm in a similar situation and have no idea how to solve it. I've been thinking of pulling together a mastermind of other programmers-turned-executive so we can talk about these problems together. I'm seriously peter principally-ing over here. ;) Anybody interested? Me: Mid 30s Director of Technology Team of 10 + part timers. No College. Two failed saas products.
I would join this slack channel.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#34[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#35This doesn't directly address your question I suppose, but one thing that I have found to de-stress myself in times like this is to take a moment to consider the achievements you've made (with no formal training, etc). You're clearly super competent, can solve all sorts of problems, and a natural leader. This is great for you long-term. You will most likely have tons of great job opportunities in the future, which wi…
That's a great comment and life advice. Thanks for that.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#36I'm in a similar situation and have no idea how to solve it. I've been thinking of pulling together a mastermind of other programmers-turned-executive so we can talk about these problems together. I'm seriously peter principally-ing over here. ;) Anybody interested? Me: Mid 30s Director of Technology Team of 10 + part timers. No College. Two failed saas products.
interested. send the slack channel info to new_dev_manager@mailinator.com ?
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#37I've experienced the transition from being an engineer to a manager, and then from a manager to director, from director to VP, and now CEO. I can tell you by far the most material impact on my ability to take on more responsibility has been having a great manager (not just a mentor). A manager knows what work you're being asked to do, sees you try to do that work, and can give you feedback on the work that you're doi…
I like the question about a great manager as a way of learning from others' experience. Do you find that it's useful in assessing the candidate as well? Are there good and bad answers to that?
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#38I've experienced the transition from being an engineer to a manager, and then from a manager to director, from director to VP, and now CEO. I can tell you by far the most material impact on my ability to take on more responsibility has been having a great manager (not just a mentor). A manager knows what work you're being asked to do, sees you try to do that work, and can give you feedback on the work that you're doi…
I like the question about a great manager as a way of learning from others' experience. Do you find that it's useful in assessing the candidate as well? Are there good and bad answers to that?
There aren't any good or bad answers. There are great people who haven't had a good manager. Good managers also manage not-so-great people. I ask really to understand more about their professional background. Depending on the role, on-the-job training may or may not be OK.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#39The advice on how to handle it from others is awesome - in terms of career advice. I'd like to also add that you should "get out more".
I've had experiences almost exactly like yours. Long hours, lots of pressure from above and below.
I have found that leaving the office and wandering around our neighbourhood for a few minutes (What's neat is that when I come back I can usually find one thing I need to knock out from my massive list and close it, done well. It's like I come back with clarity and energy. Of course it depends on making it from the door to your desk before anyone says "do you have a minute?" - then it all goes to heck for me.
I also "escape" at the weekend. Clearing head-space like that puts you in a good mood, lets your sub-conscious solve some of the issues.
Happy people are better workers. Remember that for yourself and more importantly for the team you manage.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?
#40I think your first step is to delegate some of your responsibilities ASAP. If you stop writing code and building estimates (but keep doing code reviews!) and hand off parts of the new hire training, that will free up time for other responsibilities. It will also help the people on your team grow so they can carry even more of the load for you. The Manager Tools podcasts have a lot of very useful advice that I think w…
I've found that having coding responsibilities is almost detrimental because I never have time to complete them. If I take a dev story off the backlog, it tends to stay open forever because I'm too busy doing managery things. I'll bite off really small bits that I know I can do quickly to at least keep my skin in the game.