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Let's talk openly about depression

gustavoveloso.com

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Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#31

Post by [deleted] »

mercer wrote: post #28
0xcde4c3db wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find the idea that once can just consciously decide to "take a genuine interest in" something to be entirely alien. Is this something that most people are able to do? I can direct my attention toward something, but that doesn't make boring subjects interesting.

I've found that few things that people are passionate about are truly boring, especially to curious hacker types like myself. The difficult part is to find that part of the subject, even if it's just a kernel, that triggers the interest you potentially have. This can take a while, sometimes. Perhaps reading up on how to interview people can help in this regard (it's helped me!). In my case, but I suspect this is true…

[deleted]

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#32

Post by amelius »

If you have depression combined with ADD, OCD, Autism or ME/CFS, then you might want to look up "methylation" on the internet. Genetic testing can show if you have a defect in your methylation pathways, which can lead to these disorders, and to depression.

Good starting point: http://geneticgenie.org/

They even have an implementation of methylation analysis on this website.

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#33

Post by wapapaloobop »

>Personalization – the believe that we are at fault

Yes, guilt is the means by which so much bad stuff gets installed in our minds. Ideas that get passed easily from mind to mind regardless of truth content are called memes. I propose the term remes for ideas that get recalled easily in an individual's mind. These get rehearsed more frequently than other ideas regardless of their truth content and so they persist; they achieve this by generating guilt.

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#34

Post by afarrell »

gc123 wrote: post #3

As someone who does the tech 9-5, I've found it difficult to make small talk/form deeper relationships with people outside of tech. Conversations often tend to die off after the initial "What do you do? Oh that's cool..." or "About that weather we've been having..." Any tips on expanding your network outside of tech?

As a somewhat socially awkward guy, there is a technique I've found really helpful. The key is to get someone talking about themselves so you can quickly discover topics of conversation you are both interested in and can skip over small talk. To do this, have a few questions you can ask people that don't come off as invasive but get them to tell a story or just talk about themselves but don't come off as invasive. I like to ask people what they would take a class on or where in the world they would live if they had all their expenses paid.

My wife actually organizes events to help people practice this. If you are in San Francisco there is one happening Tuesday at 7pm: https://speedfriendingsanfrancisco.eventbrite.com/

If you email me I can answer any questions.

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#35

Post by [deleted] »

0xcde4c3db wrote: post #16
lowglow wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Take a genuine interest in what others find passion in, and you'll find making friends is easier than you think. A good start would be replacing "What do you do?" with "What do you love to do?" or "What are you passionate about?" :) Good luck!

I find the idea that once can just consciously decide to "take a genuine interest in" something to be entirely alien. Is this something that most people are able to do? I can direct my attention toward something, but that doesn't make boring subjects interesting.

[deleted]

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#36

Post by afarrell »

mercer wrote: post #28
0xcde4c3db wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find the idea that once can just consciously decide to "take a genuine interest in" something to be entirely alien. Is this something that most people are able to do? I can direct my attention toward something, but that doesn't make boring subjects interesting.

I've found that few things that people are passionate about are truly boring, especially to curious hacker types like myself. The difficult part is to find that part of the subject, even if it's just a kernel, that triggers the interest you potentially have. This can take a while, sometimes. Perhaps reading up on how to interview people can help in this regard (it's helped me!). In my case, but I suspect this is true…

For me, the thing that made it work was when I noticed that I could apply the same impulse that led me to spend an hour wandering on wikipedia and tvtropes. I noticed that I tended to mostly read about history, so in conversations I started to ask people thinks that would get them to tell me the story of how they got interested in something or to tell some piece of the subject's history.

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#37

Post by afarrell »

projektir wrote: post #7
lowglow wrote: post #2

Living for your dream isn't a walk in the park, so it's important to build up a network of people you trust and can talk to. Anyone that wants to talk about entrepreneurship, building, whatever and depression just hit me up online or available for coffee whenever in SF. Contact info in my profile. Reach out. :)

Does private messaging on HN require some amount of karma or is it simply not supported?

If you go to https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=projektir, you can edit your profile and add contact information so people can email you.

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#38

Post by DanBC »

amelius wrote: post #32

If you have depression combined with ADD, OCD, Autism or ME/CFS, then you might want to look up "methylation" on the internet. Genetic testing can show if you have a defect in your methylation pathways, which can lead to these disorders, and to depression. Good starting point: http://geneticgenie.org/ They even have an implementation of methylation analysis on this website.

Do you have a reliable cite for this please?

Re: Let's talk openly about depression

#40

Post by throwaway676565 »

cylinder wrote: post #21
gc123 wrote: post #3

As someone who does the tech 9-5, I've found it difficult to make small talk/form deeper relationships with people outside of tech. Conversations often tend to die off after the initial "What do you do? Oh that's cool..." or "About that weather we've been having..." Any tips on expanding your network outside of tech?

I think what has happened is that people have become averse to and afraid of making set, hard plans to socializing. It's always "let's exchange numbers/Facebook and get a coffee sometime." Or I'll see you around. We know how connected we are and how easy it is, so we don't set hard plans. Better to defer the potential rejection or obligation. If it weren't so easy to connect there'd be more pressure to just set a har…

> "let's exchange numbers/Facebook and get a coffee sometime." Or I'll see you around.

That's what people say to those they don't want to be around. If they wanted you around they'd call you.

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