I don't understand why this is seen as acceptable, yet port knocking is derided every time it's brought up. Since installing fwknopd more than a year ago, we have had not a single attempt at sshd. Not one. We had a lot before, and it was annoying as hell.
I recognize that this is a joke, in the words of the OP. However I think SPA-type port knocking is completely legitimate, and I second the use of fwknopd. I depend on fwknopd a lot, so if that is not secure idea, I would like someone to point that out to me. NOTE that fwknopd does not depend on expecting a client to connect to a short sequence of different port numbers. That is not what fwknopd does, at least not the…
Change protocol from TCP to UPD and port from 22 to 62201.
Remove greeting.
If first message is not the correct password, do not send a reply.
If everyone used this, do you think SSH would become more secure and eliminate password scanners? Personally I think that if ssh took in a fwknopd patch and used that as default, any benefit you see now would disappear. I also suspect that logging every UDP package to 62201 would be a bad idea, probably worse than logging every failed attempt on TCP port 22.