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Crying

robinwe.is

251–260 of 260 posts

Re: Crying

#251

Long distance relationship, infidelity breakup, family illness, and bedbugs all in a year? Yikes, glad they already had a therapist to speak with.

Having gone through a bed-bug fiasco (it's long past now, thankfully), I'm surprised that category didn't make up a larger percentage of cries.

I don't think I cried during my episode, but it was an incredibly stressful and uncomfortable period.

Re: Crying

#252

Looking at the "heat map", it looks like the OP needs to start going to bed on time, like 10pm, on a regular basis. It seems she is staying up late and crying a lot during that time, perhaps because emotional things and overwork are getting her at that time. Put the phone on Do Not Disturb and check out at 10pm.

Or the opposite: She was already feeling those things and could not go to sleep because of them.

Re: Crying

#253
post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, "Up" is really in a league of its own on the "tearjerker" scale -- not that it ever does it gratuitously, mind. It's just that it imitates life very well in that it can sometimes be very sad and also uplifting(!) at the same time.

"Up" definitely triggered the strongest emotions in me of any movie to date. Perhaps it reminded me of the loss of my grandma a few years earlier. The first ten minutes made me so upset that I spent the rest of the movie fighting my body so that I wouldn't start bawling. It would have been such an intense and loud cry that I absolutely would have had to run out of the movie theater. After the movie I drove my friend…

I thought I was the only one.. yes. Up - it said more emotionally in those first 10 moments with no dialog than most movies do in 2 hours.

The recent Jungle Book was similar, my eyes were misty the whole movie. The Martian had similar effects.

I hardly ever cry otherwise.

Re: Crying

#254
post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.

Crying is correlated with empathy, which is among the most important traits a human can have.

> Crying is correlated with empathy, which is among the most important traits a human can have.

I don't know why people place so much emphasis on empathy, as if it's some magical ingredient that other animals lack, or that it's some integral component to society.

Other animals have empathy too, and empathy has little to do with moral reasoning. Empathy doesn't make humans special, intelligence and the physical composition/dexterity to make full use of our intelligence is what makes us special.

Re: Crying

#255

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me it seemed to correlate directly with the birth of my son. My theory is that his birth, the emotions of it, the sleep deprivation, and the neuro-chemical onslaught that most likely happened during that same time (it was easily the most emotional period of my life), have fundamentally rewired my brain to be more emotionally reactive (my wife would balk if I used the term "sensitive"). It's a good thing.

There is apparently hormonal changes in fathers-to-be including lowering of testosterone levels that could account for these anecdotal changes in mood response to stimuli. So probably you're experiencing being a bit more female in your hormone levels. (Best source I've seen on this is probably an endocrinologist doing a BBC program, which sorry I can't cite for you).

> So probably you're experiencing being a bit more female in your hormone levels.

This is a little loaded..

Re: Crying

#256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas[1] I should have seen it coming but it was a freight train, never did a movie hit so hard like that. War though a child's eye is worse than the adult perspective of war. [1] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914798/

Grave of the Fireflies http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095327/

I saw that recently, expecting something very sad, based on what people told me.

I wasn't all that upset with it though. The deaths weren't that traumatic..

Re: Crying

#257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are healthy ways to express your anger. Raising your voice at your coworkers is not one of them, and is out of line. I can't think of a time when I've had to yell uncontrollably. I can think of many times when the only thing I was capable of doing was crying.

Who said anything about raising voices at coworkers. From my perspective (which is one with zero psychology or medical training), these are two expressions of emotions. You just proved my point here. If the same situation makes one person cry and another person stone / red faced with "anger" why is one treated so tremendously different from the other? From my POV, you have two people unable to control their emotions…

Anger is more likely to trigger fear in other people. Anger is also more likely to lead to action, and therefore possibly mistakes. Being sad is just safer for the business.

But I agree there should just be a protocol for handling both and neither should be a big deal. Management should want to take time to sort either out.

Re: Crying

#258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The type of emotional stoicism and detachment you're advocating for fit under the simple description of either a doormat or a sociopath. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with feeling emotion. Emotion and logic are NOT, as people in our field so love to proclaim, mutually exclusive. Your emotions frequently cue you in to valuable information in a situation. Emotional people are actually very predictable -- they are sh…

Stoicism != sociopathy. I never said not to feel emotion. Stoicism simply doesn't act on it without first checking other valid logical responses. Understand what you're dealing with here. Extremely emotional people are only predictable in that they are going to behave unpredictably and irrationally. What I find hilarious is that I explain what's gotten me superior results in life and everyone argues with it rather th…

I actually believe you that your life is better than average, but you must have noticed that such statements are more often wishful thinking than a careful measurement. I suspect that's why people don't hang on your every word when you speak about it. We have no way to know if your life actually is great by my metrics.

Re: Crying

#259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seconded for "Up". All the sad scenes involving the wife. This movie, and only this movie. Makes me cry every time. I'm a 40 year old man.

I have just met you...and I love you.

"The first ten minutes of Up" is an incredible cliche. Everyone has that reaction to it that's not a robot.

Re: Crying

#260
post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Crying is correlated with empathy, which is among the most important traits a human can have.

> Crying is correlated with empathy, which is among the most important traits a human can have. I don't know why people place so much emphasis on empathy, as if it's some magical ingredient that other animals lack, or that it's some integral component to society. Other animals have empathy too, and empathy has little to do with moral reasoning. Empathy doesn't make humans special, intelligence and the physical compos…

"empathy has little to do with moral reasoning"

Yes, absolutely. And the glorification of empathy leads to immoral behavior. Empathy without skepticism, intelligence, or reason leads to being manipulated by immoral people into immoral acts.

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