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Crying

robinwe.is

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Re: Crying

#111

Post by munificent »

MicroBerto wrote: post #68

Notice how many cries are due to relationship-based issues. You are putting yourself at serious emotional risk if you allow your happiness to be driven by another person, regardless of who it is. IMHO, your emotional success should be based upon things you can control, and if it's not, then you need to make more rapid decisions as to who or what is allowed to take part in your life.

> You are putting yourself at serious emotional risk

Yes, a relationship is an emotional risk. But without risk, there is no reward.

A log of her moments of joy, warmth, love, contentedness, etc. might show that relationship in a very different light.

Re: Crying

#112

Post by cm2012 »

MicroBerto wrote: post #69
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.

Crying is correlated with empathy, which is among the most important traits a human can have.

Re: Crying

#113

Post by NTDF9 »

MicroBerto wrote: post #69
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.

Emotional stoicism gets real world tangible results. But it doesn't let us explore our emotions in depth.

As a kid, excessive emotions made me feel toxic because there is no solution to emotional issues. I learned how to block those emotions and voila, I'm now a great cog in the economy. I can get stuff done without emotions affecting me. I am pretty good at conflict resolution (not domination).

I have a very nice rational life but a few relationships did make me realize that my go to solution for any problem is blocking emotions. Not really healthy IMO.

Re: Crying

#114

Post by jaytaylor »

Can anyone explain how the visualization with the header '? -> ?? -> ???' (a little past the middle on the right hand side) was generated?

I'd really like to know how spreadsheet data gets turned into that awesome D3 diagram!

Re: Crying

#115

Post by nostrebored »

MicroBerto wrote: post #69
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.

The type of emotional stoicism and detachment you're advocating for fit under the simple description of either a doormat or a sociopath.

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with feeling emotion. Emotion and logic are NOT, as people in our field so love to proclaim, mutually exclusive.

Your emotions frequently cue you in to valuable information in a situation. Emotional people are actually very predictable -- they are showing you their feelings and in a way communicating their needs.

How can you seriously think that repressing your emotions make you a stable person? This literally goes against all of the literature on the subject.

Re: Crying

#116

Post by [deleted] »

drawkbox wrote: post #77
lomnakkus wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas[1] I should have seen it coming but it was a freight train, never did a movie hit so hard like that. War though a child's eye is worse than the adult perspective of war. [1] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914798/

[deleted]

Re: Crying

#117

Post by frabbit »

mundo wrote: post #95
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

This started happening to me the moment my wife got pregnant with our first kid. Before that, even tear-jerker news stories didn't affect me; now, I get choked up over anything (but especially over hopeful science news stories - the Philae lander, possible breakthroughs in solar power, that kind of thing). My wife makes fun of me for it too, but then I make fun of her for lots of stuff, so that's fair.

Ditto. See _A_Clockwork_Orange_

Re: Crying

#118

Post by nostrebored »

Snargorf wrote: post #94

She wrote, "Retrospection involved re-categorizing things that happened to me and re-evaluating past actions and decisions, which led me to feel ashamed, slighted, or self-pitying (I became a feminist during the time I was logging, and I reacted strongly to injustices that I became aware of)." So becoming a feminist literally made her cry. Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum, the happiest demographic in Ameri…

Because the world is a fucked up place, and ignoring it doesn't make it any better.

Would you rather see an individual that's happy sometimes, sad sometimes, and an autonomous human being, or the human equivalent of the cow from Hitchhiker's Guide that wants to eat itself?

Re: Crying

#119

Post by olalonde »

MicroBerto wrote: post #69
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I have found that emotional stoicism elicits are far greater response in nearly all people. Emotional people are unpredictable, and unpredictability is a turn-off for most rational and stable people (who I like to surround myself with). Depending on your goals in life, being "the rock" typically gets you better long-term social results.

I'm personally in the emotional stoic camp but find it easier to trust emotional people because well, they can't easily hide their true emotions.

Re: Crying

#120

Post by chasing »

cwbrandsma wrote: post #108
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I cry so little my wife had me tested for Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a year at most. Most of the time when I do start to get overwhelmed my first reaction is "WTF IS THIS?" and beat it down like a $2 mule. It isn't that I'm completely without emotions, but I really do have less than "normal" people. Anyway, nice to hear about the experiences of others.

I don't think I've got Asperger's, but I also have a sort of instinctual reaction to clamp down on any emotion that deviates too far from a standard flavor of okay-ness. Not sure where that comes from. Sometimes jealous of people who seem capable of those big emotional responses.

WHEEE! 8-)

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