Earlier quoted context omitted.
Activereord certainly saves me a lot of time. I think the reason orms get a lot of flak is that people see them usedin wildly inefficient ways that could have been solved with a simple join or other basic sql operation. Or alternatively people to to comical levels of twister to stay within the framework and create a parallel implementation of Sal. But yeah if you use them judiciously they can remove some drudgery.
If your ORM can't handle joins you're just using a bad ORM, period. Pick a better one.
ActiveRecord for me hits a sweet spot in that it covers most of what you would need to do day-to-day in SQL and gives you easy ways to bypass it if you need to do something more complicated.
The biggest issue with ActiveRecord IMO is Rails devs who feel that falling down to raw SQL when it's warranted is wrong, and end up building insanely unreadable garbage using ARel (which in and of itself isn't a bad library, but should almost never be used in "high-level" code.)