Why Do Some Poor Kids Thrive?

This makes so much sense to me. I came from a single parent home and watched my Mom work two jobs just to ensure my Brother and I didn't feel like we were poor, but we both knew we didn't have money.

When I graduated high school I joined the Navy to get college money. I believe that through the journey of going through adversity, it has taught me to appreciate everything I've worked for. It also drives and motivates me to build a foundation for my kids so they can have a childhood they look back on fondly.

We're all products of our environment. Whether it's rising above it to be better or working to build a lasting legacy, we all want to look back in 40 years and appreciate the things we've accomplished in our lives.

Sorry if that got all soapbox-y, but this is a huge thing for me. I wasn't born into money and never had a network of rich friends. And that's ok with me. Because looking back in my nearly 40 years I don't regret any of it. It's led me to what I'm doing today and I take nothing for granted.

In my opinion, I think it has to do with their up bringing. If they were raised to have everything handed to them it's easy for them to give up when faced with adversity. I wasn't raised in a home of wealth, but I certainly saw kids growing up who did and could see their attitude towards things were certainly different than my own.

If you've never had to struggle, how do you know how to handle it when you are struggling?

It's absolutely useless if you learn it by other means, in the same way second dinner is useless if you already ate first dinner.

The only cure to imposter syndrome is to help others with their imposter syndrome (e.g. mentoring junior developers to blossom their confidence and skills or teaching underserved populations computational thinking). Once you get it to the next level (e.g. your imposter students mentoring/teaching the next generation), hopefully your imposter mentality will start to exponentially fade.

Throwaway account, fyi.

I grew up in my folk's shop. Not really all that poor, I guess, in comparison to some of our customers. I mean, all 6 of my family at least had a toilet and a TV. All us kids still feel that good eating is Chef Boyardee and Twinkies (really). To this day, my brothers take all the bell pepper bits out of their Denver omelets at IHOP, one by one. Just can't stand the taste of fresh veggies. Power went out from time to time, but we did have it. We all did sports year round, mostly because it was a valid excuse to not work at the shop for my folks, that was nice I guess and means we weren't all that bad off. That shop was not fun either. It was an autoshop, so grease and asshole customers was life. My pants literally stood up on their own after work in the summers, there was that much grime in the fibers. The shop was a tin shack, so the winters were frozen and the summers were 120+ everyday by 11am. Still meant you had to fix the transmissions though. We all knew lathes and welders by 10 years old. Firefighting and carpentry became routine as us children were put to work. Don't misunderstand, I love my folks and I loved my life, but that child labor was not safe, though we all didn't know it at the time. Dad never had algebra, mom got to geometry, but that's it. The pastors would not shake Dad's hand as the grease that bakes into your fingernails makes you 'dirty' in their eyes. I love Jesus with all my heart and am a Christian, but the church can go fuck itself long and hard with the wrong end of a steel rake.

Ok, have I proved my 'poor' cred then? Yeah, it wasn't as bad as other commenters here, but still, I know man's lot is labor.

And I think that's what pulled all us kids out of it. Grit and a stiff upper lip. We all had our bones scarred by that life of labor. So, when it came to school and all this BS 'achievement metrics' that the colleges use to let you in, it was comparatively easy for us to accomplish. As such, when folk complained in college that algebra was too tough, we all found that bewildering. I went to a UC with my brothers and my sister went to a CSU and we all did Physics or Chemistry as they were the hardest majors. Nothing else really felt right as a use of all that money my folks saved up for us. Labor was our lot, as was Adam's, and we felt that was the only way.

Now we all have good jobs or are in pretty good grad schools. And yes, I recognize that we had bootstraps to pull ourselves up with, and others do not, so my own family 'tithes' 10% to some charities we believe in. All us kids do something similar.

Grit is the only thing that will pull you out. Hard work and Jesus' grace. Luck is also big, I guess, but you have to make your own luck.