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My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

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Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#111

Post by sosuke »

innertracks wrote: post #76

7.62x39 was going to be my bullet of choice. 10 years or so of depression was enough. Until I saw my 3 year old daughter down the hall while I was heading to the closet to get the rifle. In that moment, I chose to endure the pain for her. Not that I didn't think about it again, many times, over the years. A friend happened to call a few days later. He convinced me to schedule a doctor's appointment that day. Tip: The…

Thanks for your strength. I've had too many people close to me deny it, it can feel unbearable. One has come around I think but they we're not close enough for me to know certainly. That seems bonkers considering the relation is one of the closest possible.

The other goes back and forth. Maddening reasons and ideas to justify going on and off.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#112

Post by sosuke »

some_furry wrote: post #107
nekopa wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you'll find that weight and success are not the only measures of attractiveness. Self confidence and being yourself work as well.

That's a good point, and I hope it helps someone reading this thread. As for me: I'm focusing on my friends and my career, not the uncertain prospects of romance. I don't even go to the local furry meetups anymore (all they really talked about was relationship drama, so not a huge loss). Hope can be the biggest downer. I've learned to live without it. It's surprisingly liberating, actually. (I wouldn't recommend this…

Having certain hopes can feel like measuring yourself and seeing how much you've failed to achieve that hope. It is liberating to let go of hope but you'll find it creeps back in with time since you're feeling good. Wishing you well.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#115

Post by Zeeem »

Madmallard wrote: post #104

If you choose to talk to a therapist, make sure to find an older guy that is not bought out with the modern medical system. He'll actually help you. The younger generation is full of shills with pills and not a lot of actual emotional fill.

My psychiatrist is in his 30s. This has not been my experience.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#116

Post by Zeeem »

studentrob wrote: post #83
NikolaeVarius wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can relate. I went on a fitness binge a bit back. These days I can run a 10k in 45 minutes pretty easily, hit very good lifts for my weight class, and eat salads basically every single meal. After work and after the gym, all I want to do is drink or anything similar to get rid of all the thoughts in my head about how pointless it all is. Why the hell do I care if I can do all that crap. I feel like how others do. I…

Are you curious about anything? Travel, girls, sports? Could you put yourself in a new environment to renew some curiosity?

I don't recommend giving this advice to people who are seriously depressed. Speaking as someone who went through that for two years, it's more of a disease than a lifestyle problem. I could have done all these things and still have been miserably depressed.

What helped me was talk therapy, medication (the biggest factor), and having really supportive friends.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#117

Post by raftaa »

My dad had kind of a typical (?!) depressive career: he worked a lot. First, he had a tinnitus and some years after that he had "burnout". 6 months after my dad retired he tried to jump into death. After 2 weeks of coma he was like mentally switched. It was christmas and we told him that he'll be grandpa in a few months. Now, 5 years later he says that this helped a lot. He still does therapy. He found the therapist that fitted him perfectly. Its still work to do but he works on it. The therapist told him that he has a trauma like many Germans which were born in the generation after world war 2. The trauma is the root cause and he has a chance to overcome this trauma. We will see. My wife's uncle didn't worked his first depression and recently - about 10 years after the first breakout - he's depressive again.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#118

Post by arbre »

Try meditation, it got me out of depression after 3 years of pain, seeing a lot of psychiatrists and taking multiple antidepressants. There is always a reason why we are depressed. We need to go deep into ourselves to find it, there is no other way.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#120

Post by f_allwein »

Lots of good points being made here. I wanted to point out that there are various non-profit organisations dealing with depression or mental illness. They (or their websites) are great places to go when you or a loved one suffers from depression. E.g. (google for more in your area):

UK: http://www.mind.org.uk, http://www.sane.org.uk

US: http://www.adaa.org, http://www.freedomfromfear.org

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