I don't believe in therapy. I have multiple major depressions throughout my life, and I entered a new one two and a half years ago. I don't believe in therapy because therapists don't offer anything new but the same comments and advice I get from books and television shows. Morning commute and night commute are the darkest hours of my every day life. Sleeping in doesn't help me because my mind is full of ideas and fears I can't resist to eliminate. I have invested so much in one relationship which did not last. We were such an adorable couple and I was so certain we would last until death do us apart. When I broke up with this girl I turned insane like previous depressions, but this time, I am done with taking a new way out. If only time travel is real and I can afford to go back in time. At work many coworkers consider me as a superstar. But outside of work I deliver no values, but disappointment and regret. I can only block my mind for as long as I am on the computer playing games. One day I will commit suicide just so I can leave this physical body and if I ended up in Hell, so be it. As a Catholic, suicide is not allowed in my religion. I am just waiting to pay off my mortgage so my parents don't have to pay for it. I think then I will be better of taking my own life by then. I am telling you all, therapy is no fucking use.
My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
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Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#22Earlier quoted context omitted.
What city do you live in? Maybe if you share that some people here could give you a good therapist referral - and the therapist can give you suggestions for a psychiatrist to perhaps try some medication in addition to counseling.
I would recommend Person-centered therapy (Carl Rogers). It's a very human and soft approach. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person-centered_therapy
I think finding a good person is more important than modalities - and is often the trickiest part of the process. Which is (ironically) especially difficult for the depressed.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#23I'm like her dad. Reading her story may have altered my path, for the sake of my daughters, for a bit longer, I guess. I design software, I code, test and deploy. They think my work is good. It doesn't matter. I work until I'm tired and then I sleep. I hide my tears from my family. There's no joy in any of these projects, and I've lost all interest in my past side projects. I work so much I barely see my daughters be…
You're a single parent ? I hope you can find a way to avoid burning you out. As other said, when you can, take time off regularly. Good luck.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#24I'm like her dad. Reading her story may have altered my path, for the sake of my daughters, for a bit longer, I guess. I design software, I code, test and deploy. They think my work is good. It doesn't matter. I work until I'm tired and then I sleep. I hide my tears from my family. There's no joy in any of these projects, and I've lost all interest in my past side projects. I work so much I barely see my daughters be…
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Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#25I'm often surprised by non-doctors giving medical advice to someone who has a potentially fatal illness.
It feels really irresponsible to me. As irresponsible as telling a cancer patient to try carrots.
Although I accept that you're showing compassion, and that's important. And that you're not being judgemental. And that you have some evidence that exercise works to treat depression - you're not talking obvious nonsense. (Although that evidence isn't as strong as you think it is, especially for major depression.)
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#26I'm like her dad. Reading her story may have altered my path, for the sake of my daughters, for a bit longer, I guess. I design software, I code, test and deploy. They think my work is good. It doesn't matter. I work until I'm tired and then I sleep. I hide my tears from my family. There's no joy in any of these projects, and I've lost all interest in my past side projects. I work so much I barely see my daughters be…
I'm going to post here under my real nick and hope you read my comments:
I was in a depressive state for close to twenty years. The loss of my mother at 10 put me there and instead of getting better I settled into my depression for the next twenty.
Twenty years.
I was irritable and emotional. I had few friends and I made the friends I did have pay for their mistake of being my friend. I made bad decisions and burned bridges. I drank too much. I had zero good romantic relationships and was getting worse. My career, the one good thing in my life, had stagnated. Nobody wants to work with an asshole.
SO one day, after breaking up with a girl, I finally decided to get help. I cried like a baby in the office of a therapist. She got me on medication and in four weeks I was a different person. I combined that drug therapy with talk therapy and completely turned my life around. It wouldn't be a stretch to suggest it's similar to hearing music for the first time or seeing color. I was able to smile and find joy in the world again. By almost every measure, my life improved. Things have only gotten better since then.
I want you to seek help. Make use of the opportunity to completely change the trajectory of your life by getting out of the mindset you're currently in. If you need medication, take it. If you don't, invest time in talk therapy. Find a therapist you trust and who is competent. If you don't like the one you get, find another. DO THE WORK.
Depression is like cancer of the mind. If you ignore it, it'll consume you until there is nothing left. Don't ignore it.
My current happiness is only tempered by the knowledge that I lost so much along the way by ignoring my symptoms. Don't be that guy. We have a small amount of time on this rock. Make it worth your while.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#27Earlier quoted context omitted.
I would recommend Person-centered therapy (Carl Rogers). It's a very human and soft approach. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person-centered_therapy
I think finding a good person is more important than modalities - and is often the trickiest part of the process. Which is (ironically) especially difficult for the depressed.
>I think finding a good person is more important than modalities.
Yes it is. I've met many people before finding someone that I can trust a bit.
Carl Rogers was an interesting guy and he had a scientific approach (as I like understand how things work). It's a model that fit well to my mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMi7uY83z-U
I guess all models have nearly the same success rate.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#28I'm like her dad. Reading her story may have altered my path, for the sake of my daughters, for a bit longer, I guess. I design software, I code, test and deploy. They think my work is good. It doesn't matter. I work until I'm tired and then I sleep. I hide my tears from my family. There's no joy in any of these projects, and I've lost all interest in my past side projects. I work so much I barely see my daughters be…
I hope the story has changed your path for good. Your family seems important to you. I bet you're really important to them too.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#29I don't believe in therapy. I have multiple major depressions throughout my life, and I entered a new one two and a half years ago. I don't believe in therapy because therapists don't offer anything new but the same comments and advice I get from books and television shows. Morning commute and night commute are the darkest hours of my every day life. Sleeping in doesn't help me because my mind is full of ideas and fe…
This is exactly how I feel. I have no I mention of suicide, but I feel it looming over me.
The biggest thing that has stopped me has been not wanting my family to have to deal with my suicide. I've slowly distanced myself from my family over the past few years, and figure at some point I'll just 'go away' in such a manner that nobody knows what happened. I guess I'm a bit selfish, but I really don't care anymore.
Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine
#30I'm often surprised by non-doctors giving medical advice to someone who has a potentially fatal illness. It feels really irresponsible to me. As irresponsible as telling a cancer patient to try carrots. Although I accept that you're showing compassion, and that's important. And that you're not being judgemental. And that you have some evidence that exercise works to treat depression - you're not talking obvious nonse…
The evidence for physical activity being good for just about every ailment under the sun is about as incontrovertible as the evidence for water being wet. Considering that it's vitally important, often ignored, devoid of negative side effects, and free to implement, I think you're the one being irresponsible.