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Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

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11–20 of 71 posts

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#11
post #7

I can't really comment much since I've never had to deal with an issue anywhere close to this, but as a random thought, isn't this something his family would ideally action on? To me it seems great that you are helping him by not allowing him to drive, etc. especially if he is a nice person, but I would think that this might be a a little off your reach. I'm definitely not trying to discourage you but at least where…

As someone who once had an experience with a coworker who was suffering with addiction / mental health issues, I agree with this comment entirely. While it's admirable to want to help as much as you can, I learned the hard way that it would have been better to simply alert family to my concerns and then step away.

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#12
Maybe he can switch to weed? I helped a family member give up dangerous levels of drinking by helping him get a prescription. Then he gave up smoking weed entirely and now only drinks rarely. One successful example...

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#13
Your co-worker's coding ability while in this state is completely irrelevant. What he's doing is clearly unhealthy, and he needs help. As others have pointed out, it may be more appropriate to alert family and ask them to help deal with it, but in the absence of family, it's probably best to find a way to bring it up and suggest he seeks some sort of outside help.

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#15

Find a sober alcoholic. Find a man if you can, but don't be picky about it. It works better - men work with men, women work with women. Ask the sober alcoholic what to do; he will know. http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt7.pdf

Person might not be religious.

Religion is not a requirement for benefiting from AA. Participants must acknowledge a higher power, which can mean whatever a person wants that to mean.

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#16
post #7

I can't really comment much since I've never had to deal with an issue anywhere close to this, but as a random thought, isn't this something his family would ideally action on? To me it seems great that you are helping him by not allowing him to drive, etc. especially if he is a nice person, but I would think that this might be a a little off your reach. I'm definitely not trying to discourage you but at least where…

As someone who once had an experience with a coworker who was suffering with addiction / mental health issues, I agree with this comment entirely. While it's admirable to want to help as much as you can, I learned the hard way that it would have been better to simply alert family to my concerns and then step away.

If he has a family, then they'd know. He has to want to get help - this is the hard bit.

I think it's crazy that you'd facilitate his drinking by driving him home, walking him around with an intern... If I were a manager id have a chat with him

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#19
post #12

Maybe he can switch to weed? I helped a family member give up dangerous levels of drinking by helping him get a prescription. Then he gave up smoking weed entirely and now only drinks rarely. One successful example...

Ever tried coding on weed? #doesnotwork

Re: Ask HN: Helping a dev who drinks?

#20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Person might not be religious.

Religion is not a requirement for benefiting from AA. Participants must acknowledge a higher power, which can mean whatever a person wants that to mean.

I have observed no higher power than man. Where does that leave me?
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