I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

Try violating a restraining order taken out against you and see if you maintain that opinion.

The behavior you describe as well as that of the article qualifies for seeking a restraining order, which this entire discussion seems to have forgotten is in existence. Once you have a EPO/TRO/PRO, then the police care when it is violated. A lot. It's easy for them to enforce and requires no investigation, which is the thorn that hits a lot of people when they try to get cases like this going with the police. As an example, my father went to jail more than once for violating my mother's PRO. It's also on the person's record, which is why it is good to involve a lawyer if someone files one against you.

I'm one more contact from my own stalker away from filing for one, but he seems to have forgotten about me for now. I'm mystified that the FBI advised your friend and the topic of a restraining order did not come up at all. I spoke with the FBI about my stalker after he threatened to kill me across state lines and it was the first thing they told me to do. Undoubtedly, there is more to your anecdote.

In California, as long as you choose the right kind (i.e., not domestic for civil), restraining orders are fairly trivial to get. In some cases you can get a legally-binding TRO from a judge, in a day, for free. They also show up on computers in a police officer's cruiser in California (thanks to the digitization of all of it in CLETS), so if you are literally standing in front of a person on whom you have a EPO/TRO/PRO and get a cop's attention, the crime is open and shut and they will arrest, speaking from experience. Bonus in California and maybe elsewhere: if you successfully take out a restraining order on someone, they have to surrender all their firearms or sell them (yes, really).

Seriously. Restraining orders, people. The courts are at your disposal, and they're not just for domestic violence.

Edit: Except in New York, apparently, where the author of the article lives. Go New York. New York readers: vote to fix that incredibly moronic situation at once, then travel to a sane state on this like California and go back home with one of ours, which should be enforceable there. Seriously, in the Internet age, the complete absence of a non-dating civil protective order mechanism is an absolute and disgusting shame, and means your only recourse from the courts exists if you make out with your stalker. What a grandly perverse incentive you have there from your judicial system. I'm actually worked up about this from learning it in this thread, and sympathize far more with the article author now than I did before I knew that.

California resources:

- http://www.courts.ca.gov/1260.htm

- http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-domesticviolence.htm (dating/relationship/etc)

- http://www.courts.ca.gov/1044.htm (not dating, impossible in New York, apparently)

Some may take a short break and then feel the urge come back; others may just go right ahead. (Some people don't realize they're stalking, and will stop. It's worth a try to ask them to stop.)

After having asked nicely, suing is unfortunately your only recourse. And it really sucks that suing takes so much time, effort, and money, especially in a situation like this.

There is definitely the potential to chill free speech and we need to be careful; however there is also such thing as harassment.

We need to figure out where the line is, then task a department in the FBI with enforcing it. If even 1% of the people trolling, harassing, and doxxing people were put in prison it would immediately evicerate most of those movements as the scaredy cats abandoned ship. It's one thing to harass someone across the country for free with no consequences. It's quite another to face jail time (even if it's 2 weeks served on weekends).