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I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

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Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#41

Post by [deleted] »

pervycreeper wrote: post #31
shalmanese wrote: post #24

There's a moment in the pilot of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt where the women are rescued from the bunker and put on a daytime talk show and Matt Lauer asks one of the women how she ended up in the bunker: "I had waited on Reverend Richard at a York Steak House I worked at, and one night he invited me out to his car to see some baby rabbits, and I didn’t want to be rude, so… here we are." And Matt Lauer responds: "I…

> the societal pressure placed on women to be accommodating and not be rude and how this can be manipulated to constrain female agency in the world Without commenting on whether this is a fair assessment, I will observe that in order to make this case for this to be true, more evidence than a single (fictional) anecdote would be necessary, and one would also want to accurately assess whether non-women are also expect…

[deleted]

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#42

Post by chris_wot »

NeutronBoy wrote: post #36
brandonmenc wrote: post #2

Seems like a great opportunity for a company that "bounty hunts" cyberstalkers - tracks them down then physically intimidates them for you.

Both Reddit and 4chan have demonstrated exceptionally well why this is a terrible idea.

I shouldn't do this, but I will.

In the specific case mentioned here, where state and Federal law enforcement won't take charge, why shouldn't she find a professional investigator to confirm who the perpetrator is, then use the same tactics he has used against her against him?

After all, law enforcement refuse to take action right? So it appears that law enforcement wouldn't care if she ensured that he is kept out of the picture.

(for the record, I'm playing devil's advocate)

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#43

Post by chris_wot »

JabavuAdams wrote: post #20
ryan-allen wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would expect that this happens more often than not, but via friends and family. If someone was stalking or harassing one of my sisters we'd find a way of handling it, legal or no. It's not preferable but if it's the only way to get results... Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.

Yes, in specific cases this might be the right answer. However we have to say "No, rule of law, blah blah" because we don't want everyone doing it or we're back to a tribal society with vendettas and blood-feuds.

A society that will not take intimidation and threats to someone's livelihood seriously has already regressed to the level of tribal societies with vendettas and blood-feuds.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#44

Post by chris_wot »

printering wrote: post #34
pervycreeper wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the societal pressure placed on women to be accommodating and not be rude and how this can be manipulated to constrain female agency in the world Without commenting on whether this is a fair assessment, I will observe that in order to make this case for this to be true, more evidence than a single (fictional) anecdote would be necessary, and one would also want to accurately assess whether non-women are also expect…

Donald Trump.

Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#45

Post by epx »

shalmanese wrote: post #24

There's a moment in the pilot of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt where the women are rescued from the bunker and put on a daytime talk show and Matt Lauer asks one of the women how she ended up in the bunker: "I had waited on Reverend Richard at a York Steak House I worked at, and one night he invited me out to his car to see some baby rabbits, and I didn’t want to be rude, so… here we are." And Matt Lauer responds: "I…

Agree with this, but men are victims of stalking as well (considering the theme of the article). Perhaps the article insisted too much that it is a women's problem. In any case, if the laws related to staking don't exclude male victims, good enough.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#46

Post by brandonmenc »

JabavuAdams wrote: post #18
brandonmenc wrote: post #2

Seems like a great opportunity for a company that "bounty hunts" cyberstalkers - tracks them down then physically intimidates them for you.

Interesting idea, but there's no way to do this legally, and it would be prone to horrible abuses. Also, if someone is dangerous enough to intimidate ... well, you don't want to intimidate them and risk having them escalate back. Following that logic, you only end up in one place.

It is a bad idea, but without legal recourse someone will eventually provide the service.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#47

Post by chris_wot »

na85 wrote: post #38
Mithaldu wrote: post #6

End result: The thing resolved itself, likely because someone else sued her stalker. I have to wonder though: If her local police was ignorant of actual laws applying to her case, as she indicated, couldn't she just tell the officers under which exact laws she is making a complaint? Further, if the local police is generally ignorant and incompetent, what would her chances for success be in using a lawyer to try and i…

>If her local police was ignorant of actual laws applying to her case, as she indicated, couldn't she just tell the officers under which exact laws she is making a complaint? To me at least it's been conclusively demonstrated that 60-90% of police are completely incompetent. I would not trust them to do the right thing even if you mentioned the law.

I don't know how it works in the U.S. but in Australia I had a situation where someone bumped into my mother on the road and intimidated her as she went down the highway.

My mother noted the time, the license plate number and ensured she called the Police Assistance Line we have, after he passed her by. They referred her to her local police station. She went to see them the next morning, but the Officer on Duty refused point blank to file a statement. She later went back, and the same Office on Duty again refused to file a statement. So did his supervisor.

I knew this was a crime, so I did the following:

1. I called back the Police Assistance Line and explained that my mother had been intimidated on the road. I explained the situation and asked if the police were meant to look into the matter. The Police Assistance line operator, whose details I took, advised me it is against the law and should be followed up.

2. I called the local police station and explained to the person on the line that my mother had had someone bump into her on the highway, and she was intimidated. I asked if this was something that was allowed, and the police officer explained to me that actually, this was something that should be looked into.

3. I then explained to the police officer that my mother had already tried to have a statement taken twice already, but it was declined each time and the supervisor would not go ahead with it either. I asked to speak to the duty sergeant.

4. The duty sergeant, after I explained the situation to him again, sounded very sheepish and promised to look into the matter.

The Police finally took a statement.

Now if that had been me, I would have taken matters further and lodged a complaint with the Ombudsman. I very much think that police need to learn that a. they aren't lawyers, and they don't know the law even though many of them think they do, and b. they also need to know that if they literally stop others from reporting crimes (not even the point of acting on crimes, reporting of a crimes) then they will be buried in paperwork because of their jerkish behaviour.

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#48

Post by chris_wot »

ishdieisbd wrote: post #37
st3v3r wrote: post #27

Honestly, this guy needs to be thrown away in a cell and forgotten about. He clearly is not willing to stop on his own, and, quite frankly, I can't see him stopping for anything other than being locked away.

He may very well be mentally ill. This sounds like something a trump supporter might say

How ironic. The very person doing the stalking may well be a Trump supporter!

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#49

Post by striking »

SwellJoe wrote: post #35
meowface wrote: post #28

While this must have no doubt been a horrid experience, I can see why the cops would not have considered it worthy of launching a criminal investigation. This is a perfect case for civil law: causing emotional distress, harassment, defamation, etc. You should attempt to sue him and get a no-contact order if you can.

My problem with that perspective is that the law is clear on the subject: It is a criminal matter, according to the cyberstalking statutes across the country. If police don't like the law, they probably shouldn't have chosen a career of enforcing the law. (Certainly there are unjust laws, and I would hope officers would choose to exhibit some sort of leniency or looking the other way in minor cases of those sorts...b…

They didn't snicker at her. They just didn't know how best to help her.

I feel your characterization portrays officers as hateful when they're really often just misinformed.

Again, just like you say, it's hard to find the right answer. And when you say you "rather they err on the side of protecting victims", there are too many people who could possibly be victims to protect. And how do you mean "protect" exactly?

[Downvoting is an acceptable response, but I was honestly hoping for an answer to the question. If I'm missing something, please let me know, I would really appreciate that!]

Re: I’ve Had a Cyberstalker Since I Was 12

#50

Post by cplease »

enneff wrote: post #25
wheat74 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that's the point he was making. I think his post was saying she should have pursued that sometime during those years of stalking.

If that was the point then it would have been better made explicit.

If someone is not a relative or intimate partner, there's no easy way to get a civil restraining order against someone in New York the way you can in domestic cases. There either has to be a criminal prosecution to get a criminal restraining order, or you have to retain a lawyer and file a full-blown lawsuit in a court of general jurisdiction.

It should definitely be enough for police to act if you establish that you demanded that contact cease and and that it continued unabated. In this case it seems that the author may not have clearly established it, perhaps did not understand the best way to frame this, and police were unhelpful and didn't want to be involved unless there were threats or a domestic incident involved (where mandatory arrests come into play).

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