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Why I don't want stuff

sivers.org

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Re: Why I don't want stuff

#161

Post by dvirsky »

Xcelerate wrote: post #18

I relate to this guy so much. > It makes me really happy when another Christmas or birthday has passed and I didn’t receive anything. It makes me feel understood. My sister and I have this arrangement. I tell her every Christmas that her gift (nothing) is the best one, because I don't have to figure out where to store more junk until enough time has passed that I don't feel guilty throwing it away. She's even more of…

I like getting birthday presents that are doing something. Usually my wife takes me on a vacation, or to see a show I really like, etc. It's much better than some object IMO.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#162

Post by bbarn »

VLM wrote: post #15
austinjp wrote: post #2

I don't live quite like this, but I feel similarly about gifts: I far prefer them to be practical rather than decorative or frivolous. I've realised that people can get slightly upset when I explain it to them. They want to buy me something fun, something I'll "enjoy". Chances are I won't, although I do of course appreciate the sentiment. Equally, I find it more satisfying to buy a "useful" gift for others. And of co…

Refrigerator door culture. At some point in life you will no longer be permitted not to have magnets on your fridge. I made it until I got married. Weaponized clothes are a thing too. Everyone knows nobody likes getting someone elses choice of clothes as a gift, especially not kids, but it is a socially acceptable weapon to kinda "get" the recipient. More a slap to the face than a punch to the face, but none the less…

My father hated fridge magnets and resisted for years. Then he remarried, and it started happening, slowly. One year, he bought a very nice refrigerator for xmas. It's completely non-magnetic. I couldn't help but ask, and yes.. it was intentional.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#163

Post by jsingleton »

nostromo wrote: post #91
0xffff2 wrote: post #70

I can appreciate the sentiment, but I actually like doing things. Don't get me wrong, I probably spend much more time than most in front of my computer, but even so. I'm a photographer -> Two bags full of camera gear, tripod... I'm a hiker/backpacker -> Backpack, tent, sleeping bag, hiking boots... I'm a cyclist -> Bike, helmet, gloves, pump... I'm a computer engineer -> Solder station, wire cutters, crimping tools..…

I wish there was a startup in this space. I have so much house maintenance stuff. For example, I only really need a ladder once a year. But I keep it around forever because when you need a ladder, you need a ladder . I would love to not have to store and maintain all this stuff and to just request it on demand. Can someone solve that for me? I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes it's easier for me to just buy a new…

http://www.streetbank.com

We were discussing just this at a Cleanweb event last night.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#164

Post by CocaKoala »

branchless wrote: post #123
rcfox wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Coming over for dinner? They bring a (bad) bottle of wine that I now have to get rid of. I'm not a drinker myself, but I always assumed that people brought wine to dinners with the intention of drinking them at that dinner. Shouldn't that take care of getting rid of it?

Often it's bad because the people I know aren't rich. That's fine, I'd rather they just brought themselves. If it's bad why spoil dinner!

Expensive wine is not always good, cheap wine is not always bad. One of my favourite wines is a ten bucks a bottle; it's more expensive for me now because I need to order it by the case and ship it across the country to get it, but so it goes.

If somebody brings a bottle of wine to dinner, unless you specifically planned the meal to go with a specific bottle of wine (or if they specifically say that this bottle is meant to be opened at a certain time or for a certain occasion), open the bottle they brought. Otherwise, you're sending one of two messages:

1) I'm certain that this wine you brought as a gift is so bad, I don't even want to bother drinking it.

2) I'm certain that this wine you brought as a gift is so good, I don't want to share it with you at all.

Neither message is a good look. If it's bad wine, open it, share the bad experience, and joke about how horrible the wine is. You've all learned something. If it's good wine, open it, share the good experience, and marvel over how great the bottle is.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#165

Post by andrewjl »

I grew up in a house with lots of stuff and share Derek's aversion to clutter. My solution is to aim for quality over quantity.

I think there's still a case for keeping a good set of tools around. For us software engineers, most tools are virtual with the exception of our computers and / or writing utensils. I don't view it as any different from someone mechanically inclined keeping their physical tools around. Same deal with hiking or camping gear.

I still find it hard to dispose of books. Not so much because I want to keep the physical book but because the book is a physical manifestation of an idea I respect and want to keep a physical record of it in my life. (I even own both physical and electronic versions of some of my favorites to re-read when traveling.)

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#166

Post by Huhuh »

mtreis86 wrote: post #76
0xffff2 wrote: post #70

I can appreciate the sentiment, but I actually like doing things. Don't get me wrong, I probably spend much more time than most in front of my computer, but even so. I'm a photographer -> Two bags full of camera gear, tripod... I'm a hiker/backpacker -> Backpack, tent, sleeping bag, hiking boots... I'm a cyclist -> Bike, helmet, gloves, pump... I'm a computer engineer -> Solder station, wire cutters, crimping tools..…

Everything you describe is a tool. I think there's a difference between unnecessary stuff, and tools.

The line between tool and stuff is quite often blurred.

Lots of tools exist only to facilitate a very specific task and can be replaced by a less specialized one. Its not always as efficient but most of the time its enough. A knife can peel, mince, cut, etc. It can easily replace lots of 'stuff' in the kitchen.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#167

Post by pidg »

Xcelerate wrote: post #18

I relate to this guy so much. > It makes me really happy when another Christmas or birthday has passed and I didn’t receive anything. It makes me feel understood. My sister and I have this arrangement. I tell her every Christmas that her gift (nothing) is the best one, because I don't have to figure out where to store more junk until enough time has passed that I don't feel guilty throwing it away. She's even more of…

Getting annoyed at people for choosing to give you gifts has to be the very definition of 'first world problems'.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#168

Post by falcolas »

ycmbntrthrwaway wrote: post #77
graeme wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a good point, though the article addresses it explicitly. >I’m not saying anyone else should be this way. Back when I was a full-time musician, I had a whole recording studio full of stuff. But these days, everything I want to do is on my laptop. If I had a different hobby, I’d have a different situation.

And even if you have a hobby that requires things, receiving them as gifts is not a good idea. Can you imagine musician who received his musical instruments as gifts instead of carefully choosing them himself?

Yup. Wishlists are a wonderful solution to this problem. You indicate which specific item you want, perhaps with a justification for why, and someone has the option of getting it for you, or not. Or just giving you some cash to go towards getting that one particular item.

Of course, gifts in the $300+ range are relatively rare, so most musicians won't usually have to worry about someone getting them the wrong, but high enough quality you can't return it, item.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#169

Post by magic_beans »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #72
Xcelerate wrote: post #18

I relate to this guy so much. > It makes me really happy when another Christmas or birthday has passed and I didn’t receive anything. It makes me feel understood. My sister and I have this arrangement. I tell her every Christmas that her gift (nothing) is the best one, because I don't have to figure out where to store more junk until enough time has passed that I don't feel guilty throwing it away. She's even more of…

Yep, kindred spirits. About twenty years ago I had to move, and not many friends showed up to help. It was an incredible burden, and that day I said "enough" with the material possessions. Went to the dump, and now its just me, a backpack, and a small storage closet.

I own very few things and live with a roommate in a furnished apartment. I am minimal to a fault EXCEPT when it comes to books. I have dozens and dozens of them. I can't seem to be able to let them go.

Re: Why I don't want stuff

#170

Post by sivers »

mstade wrote: post #63

Every time I read anything from Derek Sivers, or see him give a talk, I feel happy and inspired – regardless of whether I agree with what he's actually saying. I like that.

Thanks! That's a wonderful compliment. Email & introduce yourself sometime.
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