ADHD Is Fuel for Adventure

Personally, in my childhood, I liked math and science. I had (and still have) ADHD, which made that hard, but I struggled through, because that was my passion. Medication (which I didn't get until I was 22) makes it much less hard.

Telling me my aptitude was in running around outdoors would have been the last thing I ever wanted to hear. I liked exploring, sure (people with ADHD are almost always Bartle Explorer-types[1]), but building up physical endurance was just one of the many things I couldn't motivate myself to do, and would have heavily resisted someone attempting to push that on me.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartle_Test

A few years ago I was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 23, and god damn do I wish it happened a decade sooner, but my parents were the type that didn't believe in that kind of stuff, so I was just lazy. It's stuck with me to this day even, it took me a while to come to terms with it and I at times I still think I'm lying to myself and I'm just lazy, and would never make this post on my main account.

I first started seriously considering that it might be something other than just laziness in college when I was studying for finals with some friends and we decided to enhance that studying with some adderall. Everyone got super focused, churning out work and wide awake for hours, except me. I felt pretty much nothing different at first, and was kinda pissed it didn't work, but got to studying anyways. The next day I was complaining to my friend about my apparent immunity to amphetamines, and thinking back I realized it might've had an effect after all. Instead of jumping around and doing 50 things at once in no logical order I actually stayed more or less on one thing at a time. I didn't get the apparent super human focus and metal boost, and it didn't keep me awake for shit, but I got to pick what I focused on. My friend mentioned that having that kind of reaction to stimulants might be a possible symptom of add, but I didn't take that seriously, since everything is apparently a symptom of add.

Later on I finally got a job with my own health insurance, and went to a therapist for an unrelated reason. Through multiple sessions I unloaded the story of my life, how I could never pay attention to just one thing when I was younger, but I saw it as an advantage because I could context switch between 10 things got damn good at it. How I loved driving so much because thinking about every other car on the road with me and predicting their actions all at once put my mind at ease. But as I got older, the 10 things I tried to focus on each needed a lot more focus than my rapid context switching could provide. It had gotten to the point that holding a conversation was a troubling task because I'd also be thinking about 10 other things and losing bits and pieces of it.

The first time my therapist told me that I may have adhd, I was actually insulted. I didn't want to consider the possibility that something was actually wrong with me, I was just lazy and needed to get my shit together. I never outwardly acted out as a kid, I wasn't hyperactive, there was no way I could have adhd. I later realized that a lot of my outlet went into computers instead, where for me the adhd was actually helpful.

I continued my sessions, and eventually she convinced me to see a psychiatrist. Over a few visits he also diagnosed me with adhd. I refused to take the prescription and ended up going to two other doctors that gave me the same diagnoses. I finally relented and worked with my therapist and the psychiatrist to set a plan of action. I was prescribed adderall, which I took daily for 3 months. At the same time I also started working on behaviors and methods to cope with it without medication. It was a night and day difference. I remember 2 weeks in sitting in my room almost in tears thinking "is this how normal people think all the time? They can choose? Why the fuck couldn't I have that".

After the first 3 months I started skipping my meds for one week out of every month to gauge how well I could deal without. It took about 7 months until I was confident enough to go off of it, but it feels like I never did. As much as I hate pharmaceuticals, there's no way I could've gotten to where I am today without. I genuinely feel that I've managed to change something in my brain to a less chaotic process. I didn't even know there was another way to think, I thought that was normal. Sure, it's still a struggle, and I still have my moments, but I can actually manage my life. I can decide to clean my apartment and not end up starting 5 other projects after 20 minutes of cleaning. The amount of shit I could have accomplished had I been able to handle my mind a decade earlier.

Sorry for the long winded rant, but damn it feels good to actually put that into words. I'm still ashamed in a way of it, it makes me feel "broken" I guess, so no one but my doctors and I know and writing that was a bit of a relief. I'm honestly not sure what my point of writing this was, other that to say that while giving kids heavy amphetamines is probably not a great idea, doing something to help from a young age could be massively life changing, and if nothing else is helping, waiting too long for medication probably isn't a great idea either.

In school, with plenty of free time and few responsibilities, I did fine. A two hour homework assignment might take 6 hours, but I did OK. It was adult life that became unmanageable.

Like the author mentioned in the article, I don't think of it as a disease necessarily, it's a personality type. But it's a personality type that can make it difficult to live in the modern world without help.

Unless a new treatment can demonstrate that it can reduce these consequences as well as medication does in the majority of cases, let's stick with the treatment that works, shall we?

ADHD is a very complicated neurological disorder which can be difficult to diagnose due to its similarities with other disorders like depression or social anxiety. In my case, the social anxiety was noticed long before my ADHD was when in reality ADHD was the root cause. For others this can actually be the opposite, their symptoms appeared to be ADHD but in reality they have a sleeping disorder.

Articles like this seem to be pushing an agenda ( Website Title: Outsiders Online ) and are trying to find an easy generalized solution to a complicated problem. That being said, exercise mixed in with education is something that should be important anyway, for all kids. Exercise keeps you healthy and motivated, regardless of any mental disability they may have.

[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivit...