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What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

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Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#51

Post by switch007 »

jneal wrote: post #11

I'm not going to speak directly regarding the way this individual handled this situation, but in general, if you experience any form of sexual harassment I highly recommend you speak with HR immediately following the incident. Don't allow it to escalate, things can only get worse. Even if it's your first day on the job, you should never feel speaking to HR regarding an incident is a bad idea.

HR is the company's (i.e. directors'/owners') legal & policy counsel; wouldn't talking to a lawyer be the more sensible option?

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#52

Post by nahiluhmot »

skj wrote: post #18
shallowpedantic wrote: post #10

I probably would've felt more sympathy for her had it not been for the fact that upon scrolling down, she still has google listed as one of her former employers! now if being at google was such a traumatic experience, why reference them in your sexual harassment letter? If it happened to me, I wouldn't list the former employer I worked for.

This is your complaint? How silly.

In all fairness, parent's username is shallowpedantic.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#53

Post by sre_ops »

gilgoomesh wrote: post #27
ordbajsare wrote: post #19

>In that week, I was kissed on the cheek, asked to sit on my manager’s lap... >Protect yourself and others. Report it to HR. The correct response is to punch him in the face, defend your personal space with extreme prejudice.

I assume you're kidding but if you're not: you run the risk of being fired for physical assault, whether or not you're in the right. In any case, as reported in the article, people in that situation are more likely to be paralysed by shock and doubt. A blunt, self-assured response in the moment is unlikely.

> I assume you're kidding but if you're not: you run the risk of being fired for physical assault, whether or not you're in the right.

And that's when you sue the living hell out of the company and walk away with a few million dollars.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#54

Post by DannoHung »

eklavya wrote: post #29

Why does nobody seem to be bothered with the apologize and continue as usual outcome? Shouldn't there have been serious implications for the sexual offender?

It was super fucking gross. That said, I get the impression that she didn't immediately think to record evidence of his transgressions. In that case, HR usually will have to split the baby because they are ultimately there to protect the company.

If it was the first time this guy has done something wrong, which is kind of unbelievable, then it's not a horrible result. Maybe he really is just that socially backwards that he needed an HR intervention to learn what everyone fucking should know. But the cynic in most of us is saying that this is a pattern of behavior that was probably repeated in a more covert manner.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#55

Post by shallowpedantic »

facepalm wrote: post #20
shallowpedantic wrote: post #10

I probably would've felt more sympathy for her had it not been for the fact that upon scrolling down, she still has google listed as one of her former employers! now if being at google was such a traumatic experience, why reference them in your sexual harassment letter? If it happened to me, I wouldn't list the former employer I worked for.

It wasn't Google that harassed her, but one of of Google's employees.

Yes, because google as a entity would've been able to kiss her on the cheek. a company isn't capable of executing the type of harassment that she is complaining about. But whatever, down-voted to hell by a community as a toxic as reddit simply because of a difference in opinion.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#56

Post by panic »

Sir_Cmpwn wrote: post #47
eklavya wrote: post #29

Why does nobody seem to be bothered with the apologize and continue as usual outcome? Shouldn't there have been serious implications for the sexual offender?

I have to write this comment pretty carefully to avoid vindicating the offender or blaming the victim. It seems to me like the victim wasn't making it clear that she was uncomfortable (this is not her fault), and perhaps the offender was picking up on signals that weren't there. The situation needed to be fixed, but the behaviour mentioned in the article could have been more flirtatious than forced. A zero tolerance…

It doesn't matter if it was "more flirtatious than forced". A manager should not flirt with their reports. Managers are supposed to be responsible for the growth of their employees; making an employee so uncomfortable with you that they run away from you on sight is a spectacular failure to do your job.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#57

Post by baldfat »

DasIch wrote: post #36
Aeolos wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you really trust HR to do the right thing?

If you can't trust HR to do the right thing or they don't, it's time to leave.

You document that you went to HR concerning the situation wait a week and then contact a lawyer. Or contact a lawyer and then documents it.

This is what I told a family friend who also got the sit on my lap request. Well lets say her husband got laid off for a few years and they weren't in any trouble.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#58

Post by danso »

jneal wrote: post #11

I'm not going to speak directly regarding the way this individual handled this situation, but in general, if you experience any form of sexual harassment I highly recommend you speak with HR immediately following the incident. Don't allow it to escalate, things can only get worse. Even if it's your first day on the job, you should never feel speaking to HR regarding an incident is a bad idea.

Just for anyone who reads the comments before TFA, the author does escalate this into reporting it to HR:

> During the HR investigation that ensued, I remember being shamed by a female colleague who thought I was blowing the situation out of proportion. She thought I was being overly sensitive, and that it was wrong of me to report my manager. That hurt. I thought she would’ve naturally supported me.

Maybe you think she should have gone to HR earlier? Hard to say, but there is no hard and fast rule on this... I mean not just that people disagree on what sexual harassment entails, but it's also not easy to see the signs of sexual harassment. For example, let's say on my first day of work, a co-worker asks if I know of any good pho joints. Am I being asked that because I'm Vietnamese? Or is it because this new co-worker has seen me tweet about how much I like pho (and it's just a coincidence that I'm vietnamese)? Or is it because we're in Northern California where there is known to be a decent quantity of pho joints (for America), and asking about pho is not much different than asking about BBQ if you were in the South?

It's possible that such a question is a symptom of deep-seated racism/stereotypes, and that in a hindsight report, I'd be sure to include it as an anecdote to illustrate what was going on even from the first day. But I'd have to admit that I'd be very reluctant to turn this kind of incident into an HR thing -- at that very moment.

In the OP's case...yeah, if she were getting kissed/propositioned on the first day, that would be an HR thing. But if someone were to note how young she was, or what a cute dress she had on...comments that often but not always signify non-professional behavior...I can see why she wouldn't go to HR on the very first day.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#59

Post by Ntrails »

mbrutsch wrote: post #39
AznHisoka wrote: post #5

Is this really a problem with Silicon Valley? I think it's an universal problem you'll find in all industries.

My mother worked in an all-male field starting in the 1970s; they didn't even have a women's bathroom at the plant when she started. When something like this happened to her, she was perfectly capable of opening her mouth and telling the person that their behavior was unappreciated. I don't see where she says she ever even hinted to the manager that his actions were inappropriate. I suspect a single "cut that shit ou…

See - this is interesting. There is definitely a sense that in "ye olden days" people were stauncher. There's a bit of application of so called common sense where a lot of behaviours can be shut down by addressing them.

Yet you instantly have to recognise that you just blamed the victim for not being more assertive, and not being able to protect themself from something that they should never have to deal with - it's not even close to acceptable behaviour.

I am not unsympathetic to your point, I just kinda wish some consequences would start arising for the seemingly endless tide of entitled pricks who either don't care or don't know any better.

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