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What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

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Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#31

Post by bontoJR »

This problem happens in every industry, tourism and hospitality is full of these cases as far as I heard even by people I personally know.

The Silicon Valley situation is more visible for the simple reason that diversity is still a problem, so having so few girls makes this a huge problem and a barrier hard to overcome for women. I feel truly sorry for all the female colleagues having troubles with bosses and colleagues harassing or also bullying them (have you ever heard somebody saying: "she's a girl, let's give her this task b/c is very trivial").

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#32

Post by mtrimpe »

Aeolos wrote: post #21
jneal wrote: post #11

I'm not going to speak directly regarding the way this individual handled this situation, but in general, if you experience any form of sexual harassment I highly recommend you speak with HR immediately following the incident. Don't allow it to escalate, things can only get worse. Even if it's your first day on the job, you should never feel speaking to HR regarding an incident is a bad idea.

Can you really trust HR to do the right thing?

Indeed; never trust HR to do the right thing. HR will choose the approach they believe minimizes risk to the company.

If they believe kicking you out instead of your harasser is less risky they won't hesitate twice to do so. I can confirm that from personal experience.

If you can afford it get legal advice first ... and then go to HR.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#34

Post by aikah »

Ma8ee wrote: post #13
moomin wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women who leave seem to think it's worse in tech. Pretty solid data point.

It's probably worse in all sectors where women are a small minority.

> It's probably worse in all sectors where women are a small minority.

It would be interesting to see if the data supports that statement. Is there less sexual harassment in education or medical professions where women are the majority ? According to my experience, I don't think so.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#35

Post by Cthulhu_ »

mtrimpe wrote: post #32
Aeolos wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you really trust HR to do the right thing?

Indeed; never trust HR to do the right thing. HR will choose the approach they believe minimizes risk to the company. If they believe kicking you out instead of your harasser is less risky they won't hesitate twice to do so. I can confirm that from personal experience. If you can afford it get legal advice first ... and then go to HR.

> If you can afford it get legal advice first

And if you can't, join a union (or form one if they don't exist), they can help pay for legal advice and/or have their own lawyers.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#36

Post by DasIch »

Aeolos wrote: post #21
jneal wrote: post #11

I'm not going to speak directly regarding the way this individual handled this situation, but in general, if you experience any form of sexual harassment I highly recommend you speak with HR immediately following the incident. Don't allow it to escalate, things can only get worse. Even if it's your first day on the job, you should never feel speaking to HR regarding an incident is a bad idea.

Can you really trust HR to do the right thing?

If you can't trust HR to do the right thing or they don't, it's time to leave.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#37

Post by dhimes »

ordbajsare wrote: post #19

>In that week, I was kissed on the cheek, asked to sit on my manager’s lap... >Protect yourself and others. Report it to HR. The correct response is to punch him in the face, defend your personal space with extreme prejudice.

I don't agree, but upvoting because I think it is worth discussing the idea that women get attacked like this (and that's what sexual harassment is) because the men think they can bully the women. Perhaps not a punch in the face, but a clear shove away may go a long way towards making the point.

I am also suspicious of approaching HR first. Perhaps a lawyer has written about how to handle this online, especially what and how to document, how to handle any witnesses, etc., but if not I would hope my wife would talk to a lawyer first. I guarantee that HR knows how to handle the incident, but they are working on behalf of the company. That doesn't mean they are working on behalf of the manager, though, so they can be at least half-trusted (IMHO). But I would still prefer that my wife have her own source of knowledge on this situation.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#38

Post by mtrimpe »

aikah wrote: post #30
rplnt wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm starting to think that I am (or we, men, are) blind to this. If it happens as much as is reported (I don not work in SV, but I'd guess Eastern-ish Europe would be worse), then it must happen before out eyes, or even worse, we are the ones doing it. I honestly can't think of such incident, but this suggest that there were many that I simply ignored, didn't see them as such. edit: To make it clear, I definitely did…

> I'm starting to think that I am (or we, men, are) blind to this. Nobody's blind to that. Most of the time it's just that nobody wants to get involved in cases like that. For all one knows ones could be accused of doing nothing about it. So people prefer "not to see" and "not to know", just like in blatant cases of racism at work. So it's not blindness , it's just individualism. > but I'd guess Eastern-ish Europe wo…

It's not really useful to single out Eastern Europe. The problem is everywhere; its manifestations are just different.

Eastern Europe for example has much less of a glass ceiling problem but gender roles are stricter and but racism and homophobia are orders of magnitude worse.

In the Dutch workplace (where I'm from) homophobia is for example much less of an issue; but racism is still pretty ingrained and while there are less strict divisions in gender roles but the glass ceiling for women is much stronger.

Re: What I learnt from being sexually harassed at Google

#39

Post by mbrutsch »

AznHisoka wrote: post #5

Is this really a problem with Silicon Valley? I think it's an universal problem you'll find in all industries.

My mother worked in an all-male field starting in the 1970s; they didn't even have a women's bathroom at the plant when she started. When something like this happened to her, she was perfectly capable of opening her mouth and telling the person that their behavior was unappreciated.

I don't see where she says she ever even hinted to the manager that his actions were inappropriate. I suspect a single "cut that shit out, stop acting like a damn teenager" might well have stopped this problem in its tracks. But we'll never know.

I read these tales of woe and wonder why people today lack the intestinal fortitude to stand up for themselves, rather than resigning themselves to the status of "victim".

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