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Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

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Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#11

Post by brianlweiner »

fijal wrote: post #8

I wonder if it's just me or does the complaint concerns mostly oc cupid, which is very data obsessed. For example Tinder, a far more successful online dating tool seems to be much much simpler in purpose and not suffering from those problems. In other words - I think it's specific to data obsessed nerds take on online dating and not the problem with online dating at all :-)

I'll admit to having been firmly attached since before Tinder came onto the scene, but my guess would be Tinder skews towards a much younger, hookup-friendly crowd.

I'd assume older singles pursuing more serious companionship would gravitate towards the eharmony, match, okcupid type sites.

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#12

Post by cubano »

As a single late 40-something, I found myself chuckling in agreement with all the main points of this really well written article.

The online dating process, to me at least, falls somewhere between setting myself on fire with lighter fluid and posting cat vids (well, anything really) on Facebook.

I tried it a few years back and very quickly realized it just wasn't for me and didn't fit my personality worth a damn.

It's a desensitizing/lonely/desperate numbers game where all incentives lie with lining up as many "targets" as you can and hoping for hits.

The OP is right, tho...as you get older it gets harder and harder to find potential long term mates, especially if you are a recovering addict with felonies in your background, as I am, for every women I did meet online immediately ran background checks.

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#13

Post by marktangotango »

Finding a mate is a numbers game, pure and simple. Online dating facilitates meeting X women in Y amount of time. One typically starts of with requirements {a, b, c} but then as they go along they figure out that their requirements are in reality {b, d, e, ...}. The qualities {a, c} just weren't that important.

Source: I tried online dating off an on for years, met my wife on pof. ymmv

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#15

Post by biot »

cubano wrote: post #12

As a single late 40-something, I found myself chuckling in agreement with all the main points of this really well written article. The online dating process, to me at least, falls somewhere between setting myself on fire with lighter fluid and posting cat vids (well, anything really) on Facebook. I tried it a few years back and very quickly realized it just wasn't for me and didn't fit my personality worth a damn. It…

Running background checks for a date is a thing these days? How times change...

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#16

Post by kaypro »

marktangotango wrote: post #13

Finding a mate is a numbers game, pure and simple. Online dating facilitates meeting X women in Y amount of time. One typically starts of with requirements {a, b, c} but then as they go along they figure out that their requirements are in reality {b, d, e, ...}. The qualities {a, c} just weren't that important. Source: I tried online dating off an on for years, met my wife on pof. ymmv

Your comment reminds me of the last book I read as per Bill Gates : "The Rosie Effect". Albeit the protagonist takes it to an extreme level but his conclusions matches yours. Humorous quick read.

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#17

Post by fijal »

brianlweiner wrote: post #11
fijal wrote: post #8

I wonder if it's just me or does the complaint concerns mostly oc cupid, which is very data obsessed. For example Tinder, a far more successful online dating tool seems to be much much simpler in purpose and not suffering from those problems. In other words - I think it's specific to data obsessed nerds take on online dating and not the problem with online dating at all :-)

I'll admit to having been firmly attached since before Tinder came onto the scene, but my guess would be Tinder skews towards a much younger, hookup-friendly crowd. I'd assume older singles pursuing more serious companionship would gravitate towards the eharmony, match, okcupid type sites.

I have probably as much anecdotal evidence as you have, but from my experience tinder caters toward pretty much everyone, I've seen people trying to do a hookup for childcare on tinder.

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#18

Post by mysterypie »

cubano wrote: post #12

As a single late 40-something, I found myself chuckling in agreement with all the main points of this really well written article. The online dating process, to me at least, falls somewhere between setting myself on fire with lighter fluid and posting cat vids (well, anything really) on Facebook. I tried it a few years back and very quickly realized it just wasn't for me and didn't fit my personality worth a damn. It…

> every women I did meet online immediately ran background checks

Are you serious?

Women actually run background checks on dates?

I don't know where to begin with my questions. Did you tell the women about your background, or they just do it on everyone? What company or service does these checks? Don't they have to get authorization from you to do a check? Wouldn't this be expensive? Is this something typical in the country/community where you live (and where is that)?

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#19

Post by briHass »

fijal wrote: post #8

I wonder if it's just me or does the complaint concerns mostly oc cupid, which is very data obsessed. For example Tinder, a far more successful online dating tool seems to be much much simpler in purpose and not suffering from those problems. In other words - I think it's specific to data obsessed nerds take on online dating and not the problem with online dating at all :-)

I think Tinder nailed the concept that many people don't want/have time to write 10,000 words about themselves or answer stupid quizzes. At least in my experience, a lengthy profile isn't going to help you; it can only hurt, and the item of largest importance (as the article states) is the pictures.

Tinder seems ideal to quickly move from 'swipe', to a couple text messages, to a date. It's the first date that really matters. I'd argue that most people will know within the first 10 minutes of the date if they have any interest in continuing. Messaging back and forth prior to this date doesn't seem to do much except waste time.

Re: Clicking for Love – The Curious, Odious, Hilarious World of Online Dating

#20

Post by sjs382 »

cubano wrote: post #12

As a single late 40-something, I found myself chuckling in agreement with all the main points of this really well written article. The online dating process, to me at least, falls somewhere between setting myself on fire with lighter fluid and posting cat vids (well, anything really) on Facebook. I tried it a few years back and very quickly realized it just wasn't for me and didn't fit my personality worth a damn. It…

Background: I'm currently a 30-year-old male, who used OKCupid as a 21-23 year old male, before finding my wife on there.

I think a lot of it has to do with what you're expecting out of online dating. I was a person who liked to date, and found fun experiences even in disastrous dates. That approach often leads to lots of dates with people with the same mindset.

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