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People Call Me Aaron

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Re: People Call Me Aaron

#61

Post by mitchtbaum »

sosuke wrote: post #31

My family before me experienced sibling death in a similar prime. I only know about it as a child of one of the surviving siblings but it haunted that entire generation. Knowing all I do about how it affected my parent in their younger years I will say that you're very strong to claim your own identity. Do not use your brother as a yardstick to measure the worth of your own life because they cannot measured to each o…

Thank you for adding this other dimension; children of siblings that experience this type of loss. My mother lost her brother in his prime, so this gives Noah and Aaron's relationship meaning I can just now see. For me, my uncle, like other relatives that passed before my birth, only live through stories that came through in our family's experiences afterward. I have so much gratitude for my mother, that they shared so much in their lives together, and that she could pass on such a rich history for me to build on.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#62

Post by frogpelt »

grownseed wrote: post #59

Obviously not of the same gravity, but a good part of my childhood was spent being called by my big brother's name. Family, friends, teachers, you name it. It's a hard one, because I think my brother is an amazing guy, and evidently so do other people, but it's ultimately belittling. A math teacher, who had my brother for a single year, called me by his name for the whole three years I knew/had her. By that point, it…

This has happened to me a lot in my life--in fact one of my high school teachers called me my brother's name the entire school year. But I didn't feel belittled. Some people are just bad with names.

I've figured out how to break people of the habit: call them the name of their sibling. This fixes it real quick like.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#64

Post by mng2 »

panorama wrote: post #48
patcon wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

WHOA. I just wrote almost the same comment before seeing yours: > My mother is known for cycling through names before hitting the right one. > > I was frequently addressed as "Hershey-Chris-Patrick" while living at home.

My parents will start with my brother's name first before getting to me, but I've also heard them make the same, inverse mistake with my brother. I have to imagine this is only a same-sex issue right? No one mixes up their daughter and son's names?

No, it happens with my parents. My sister and I are many years apart though, and once I went to college there was only one kid in the house, so I can kinda understand.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#66

Post by froo »

My brother committed suicide after facing a prison sentence. It is a really difficult thing that when you meet people (even for years afterwards, it still happens to this day 13 years on) and they just want to talk about the circumstances behind his suicide and the things that get him to that point. Having people consistently drag it up for you really hurts at times.

I also have experienced the name-calling thing. My mother, at times, ends up calling me by my brother's name. I think that is the hardest thing at times, because clearly she's not over it (he shot himself with her in the next room).

I really do feel for Noah. It's not something you ever truly get over (here I am posting about it 13 years on), just something you just got to learn to deal with. I found that for me, I had to find a healthy coping mechanism/hobby to get through those first few years. Life still goes on man.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#67

Post by noobermin »

JohnBooty wrote: post #29
jamiepenney wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've often felt a bit abnormal for doing this. I guess I only ever see each person in one mode, so I had no idea if other people do it or not. Nice to know at least some other people do.

Yeah, totally normal, I think. I think that's just basic social mammal stuff - you calibrate your actions to your social surroundings. I mean even our dog has totally separate personalities when he's around us at home versus how he acts around other dogs. And it's not even the same personality for each of the other dogs - some dogs have calming effects on him, some make him hyperactive.

I think the thing is in reality, there is no "true self" or "true identity" but there might be layers of identity that turn on or off depending on the situation. It's not like your persona mode is fake or anything. The only real sting is when a persona is based on lies or contradicts a larger part of your personality is when you get into trouble.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#68

Post by maxwin »

zephod wrote: post #20

This is so sad. I wonder if Noah has considered moving abroad for a bit - in my experience, very few people in the London tech scene know who Aaron Swartz was, or if they've heard the name they will struggle to remember the story behind it. Maybe people will disagree, but I don't think the story had quite the same cultural resonance outside the USA.

I am in Myanmar. But I have been following Aaron's story since 2013. If someone is in tech, it is a good chance that they have heard about Aaron no matter where they live.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#69

Post by tim333 »

froo wrote: post #66

My brother committed suicide after facing a prison sentence. It is a really difficult thing that when you meet people (even for years afterwards, it still happens to this day 13 years on) and they just want to talk about the circumstances behind his suicide and the things that get him to that point. Having people consistently drag it up for you really hurts at times. I also have experienced the name-calling thing. My…

Good luck. It surprises me that the US supports such a vicious law enforcement system compared to the rest of the developed world - I'm a Brit and ours leans the other way towards being a bit easy going.

Re: People Call Me Aaron

#70

Post by froo »

tim333 wrote: post #69
froo wrote: post #66

My brother committed suicide after facing a prison sentence. It is a really difficult thing that when you meet people (even for years afterwards, it still happens to this day 13 years on) and they just want to talk about the circumstances behind his suicide and the things that get him to that point. Having people consistently drag it up for you really hurts at times. I also have experienced the name-calling thing. My…

Good luck. It surprises me that the US supports such a vicious law enforcement system compared to the rest of the developed world - I'm a Brit and ours leans the other way towards being a bit easy going.

It should be noted that I live in Australia, so our law enforcement system is relatively lax too.

However, my father also died of a heart attack a little over a year beforehand, so I'm sure that was part of it, but I'm sure the jail term was about 90% of what was on his mind at the time.

I only wanted to share just in case Noah ever reads this. Things do eventually get better.

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