61–70 of 81 posts
HR is not your friend. They are there to protect the company, not you.
15 years ago, freshly employed, less than 25 years old, introverted and socially awkward, I had a work colleague as well to which I wrote a romantic poem (for her, more or less out of the blue). It wasn't received well. Not well at all. I had trouble understanding her dismissal and insisted on that she gave me signs of affection. HR was involved briefly, my story sounded so similar to what OP writes. But in my case,…
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This is why you should party or at least socialize widely in college. To get all that weird socially awkward shit over with before you're in the workplace and it impacts yours or another's career.
The socialization skills I learned in college didn't really help me at my first corporate job where the rules are completely different.
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Agreed. His language tells a lot. From the beginning he is distancing himself from this person by saying " this coworker" and " that coworker" but then later on gives a weak implication of friendship. So what is it, friend or co-worker? If they were actually friends outside of work situations, you would expect less distancing language to that person from the beginning. First sentence mentioning 'coworker', emphasis m…
Based on the photo of him draped in a rainbow colored cape at what appears to be a Pride parade, I suspect that this involves a case of a homosexual advance on a straight coworker, which, depending on the person, could make it more sensitive. Despite huge progress in gay rights and public acceptance, not everyone is so accepting. I'll admit that I have nothing to base this on other than pure speculation, but the lack…
Regardless of the actual reason, the style just made me distrust the author to some extent - it felt deliberately vague, leading to the (possibly unfair) conclusion that certain facts/events don't fit the narrative presented.
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Yes. "Performance Improvement Plans" are also the kiss of death. When it looks like you're about to be placed under one, fairly or not, you should attempt to find other employment ASAP.
"Performance" can be seen as your ability to play ball with bullshit things and people at work. Outdated inefficient systems you're expected to use instead of building something new, for example. So you apply some resistance, apply initiative, and get smacked down for your efforts. Or when you're supposed to work with someone who is an expert at sticky note presentations or motivational bullshit-speak, but literally…
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Yes. "Performance Improvement Plans" are also the kiss of death. When it looks like you're about to be placed under one, fairly or not, you should attempt to find other employment ASAP.
Or as soon as you are asked to sign a PIP the relationship has soured and you should be looking for a new job, or if you have FU money, resign.
Never talk to HR.
Talking to HR is like talking to the police - assume that nothing you say will be used to help you and that everything you say will be used against you. The difference between talking to HR and talking to the police is that you have more legal protections when talking to the police.
You can't get away with not talking to HR at all, but you can certainly be careful what you say.
Don't talk to Police:
This is intentionally vague to the point of being dishonest. Take this quote: > They asked about my whereabouts that involved this co-worker, all of which happened outside the workplace. I asked why these events mattered, and they told me that an issue has been brought to their attention in such a way that is has entered the workplace, and thus is now a workplace matter. So something happened outside of the workplace…
It's hard to form an opinion without knowing what is "this thing" the author has done, unless I missed the part where he describes it. If he acknowledged to a colleague of having killed someone, the context is pretty different from a minor violation of an internal policy.
Correction: it's a thing that she thought he had done based on hearsay from other coworkers, but which he hadn't actually done. Could have been "Hey, so-and-so told me you have a great rack when we were both wasted at the bar", used as a flirty opening by a coworker, but one which backfired spectacularly.
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Or as soon as you are asked to sign a PIP the relationship has soured and you should be looking for a new job, or if you have FU money, resign.
Or as Homer says "Just go in and do a really half assed job". You're already on PIP, you could likely do 0 work for the duration of the PIP while you look for other jobs and switch.