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American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

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Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#31

I never understood the sentiment of valuing babies over all else. To me it always seemed obvious that fresh college graduates are most valuable to society, since we just finished investing a ton of money into them. Babies on the other hand are easily replaced. I get this is mainly an emotional argument, but it's still startling to me how opposite it is to the purely economic argument I made above. In fact usually peo…

In terms of a 'purely economic argument', you have none. You're referring to a sunk cost:

"are most valuable to society, since we just finished investing a ton of money into them"

"In traditional microeconomic theory, only prospective (future) costs are relevant to an investment decision. Traditional economics proposes that economic actors should not let sunk costs influence their decisions. Doing so would not be rationally assessing a decision exclusively on its own merits." - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costs

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#32
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are full of potential. Fresh college graduates...let's be honest...are less so.

Well, most babies will become fresh college graduates (or not even that), so I'm not sure I really follow your line of thought.

It's the same "logic" that values a startup without a product more highly than one with a product because if the product hasn't been developed yet, it could be amazing, but if it has, then we already know its not.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#33
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are full of potential. Fresh college graduates...let's be honest...are less so.

Well, most babies will become fresh college graduates (or not even that), so I'm not sure I really follow your line of thought.

Not most. Only ~22% of people finish college.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#35
This is both a great article and a mediocre article. I agree with others that the marriage aspect is the weakest part.

As a parent, I constantly think back to the 70s as a benchmark for open mindedness and freedom with my children. In my honest opinion, we've lost a lot of perspective and become much less tolerant. In Australia, someone called the police because children walked a short distance to the local park by themselves. Taking a photo at a swimming carnival is taboo. None of these attitudes were around in the 70s.

I felt the relationship aspects between adults missed the mark. Not only the relationship breakdown aspects, but the women and sex. That reminds me of the woman who runs she++ (a sexist business name that no one calls out) who said in a Forbes interview that sex was bad and a man thing. There is a social stigma in admitting that women can like sex. Even Sam Mechkovich from Ars commented about bond women not falling for bond in his Spectre review, because that's not a woman thing to like sex. My response to these people is "what's wrong with it?" Most of the women I know and respect are open about sex. That doesn't mean free sex, it means being open minded and confident in yourself to be free to speak your mind. My sort of people...

Ultimately, I lump all these social and parental problems down to Political Correctness. For the nay sayers, you can treat people with respect and not be PC. PC is a set of perverted rules that bully people into what to think.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#36

For anyone who's interested in the rise in divorce rates, I highly recommend the book "The Two Income Trap". It basically tries to prove that the transition to dual income households damaged the financial security of many families. Pair this with the fact that the number one cause of fighting and divorce is money, and you have a better explanation than what this article provides.

I highly recommend the book "The Two Income Trap". It basically tries to prove that the transition to dual income households damaged the financial security of many families

A great book. It can also be read profitably in conjunction with Matt Yglesias's The Rent is Too Damn High. School districts are weirdly tied to real estate in the U.S.; many places with good districts also have severe land-use control laws that prevent the creation of new housing units on a given parcel land; and, consequently, people will pay a lot of money for scarce housing that comes bundled with good school districts. Two-earner households make paying for the housing easier, but two-earner households are often also more economically fragile (especially considering the prevalence of divorce).

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#37
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are full of potential. Fresh college graduates...let's be honest...are less so.

Well, most babies will become fresh college graduates (or not even that), so I'm not sure I really follow your line of thought.

Follow the line of thought further.

Most fresh graduates also become retired seniors. All retired seniors eventually become corpses. Can you maybe see potential declining over time now?

A baby could become anyone.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#39

This is both a great article and a mediocre article. I agree with others that the marriage aspect is the weakest part. As a parent, I constantly think back to the 70s as a benchmark for open mindedness and freedom with my children. In my honest opinion, we've lost a lot of perspective and become much less tolerant. In Australia, someone called the police because children walked a short distance to the local park by t…

>> Ultimately, I lump all these social and parental problems down to Political Correctness. For the nay sayers, you can treat people with respect and not be PC. PC is a set of perverted rules that bully people into what to think.

I have been told, "You can't say that, we have to be open minded here" when expressing the belief that political correctness does more to damage discourse than almost any other idea in western society. Way to provide a demonstration of my point!

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#40
> child-centric lives can lose touch with one another to the point where they have nothing left to say to one another when the kids leave home.

there are couples like this because the way they made kids + 2 careers work on middle class salaries is by dividing the day in half and each parent spends one half the day with the children and the other works. after ten years of this, you don't actually know your spouse any more - they've been living some life, but not one that you've had time to be a part of between your own career and your children.

this seems like an equally plausible explanation for this phenomenon, because when you sacrifice that much it must be for something and when someone else insinuates that maybe the sacrifice wasn't worth it, well, that would really piss you off...

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