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American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

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21–30 of 172 posts

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#21
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are full of potential. Fresh college graduates...let's be honest...are less so.

Well, most babies will become fresh college graduates (or not even that), so I'm not sure I really follow your line of thought.

When your kid is still a baby, you can dream that he/she will become a neurosurgeon or an astronaut. By the time the child has actually grown up and graduated with a degree in French poetry, your best hopes for them are dead.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#22

I never understood the sentiment of valuing babies over all else. To me it always seemed obvious that fresh college graduates are most valuable to society, since we just finished investing a ton of money into them. Babies on the other hand are easily replaced. I get this is mainly an emotional argument, but it's still startling to me how opposite it is to the purely economic argument I made above. In fact usually peo…

In other words: "Children are special, but not particularly important"

http://www.3quarksdaily.com/3quarksdaily/2015/01/children-ar...

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#23
post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are full of potential. Fresh college graduates...let's be honest...are less so.

Roughly 34% of Americans go on to complete college. Strictly and mathematically speaking, the fresh college graduates are a much better bet than babies.

[deleted]

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#24
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, most babies will become fresh college graduates (or not even that), so I'm not sure I really follow your line of thought.

Yeah, but a baby hasn't chosen a major, developed any mental illnesses, experienced any crippling trauma, or really done anything at all yet. A fresh college graduate is very often set for life when it comes to their career, brand preferences, political beliefs, religious beliefs, socioeconomic status, etc. but babies have a lot more variability in terms of possible outcome.

Thought the sample of college graduates vs. all 22 year olds are a little different.

All babies will turn into all 22 year olds. Only some babies will turn into college graduates.

Therefore some of a population, if selected artificially (i.e. college graduates) will always be better than the whole population (i.e. all babies.)

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#25
We've spared the rod for too long, IMHO. Not saying we should abuse our kids or even reprimand them physically necessarily, however seeing a two year old as anything more than a terrorist whom cannot be negotiated with, can have detrimental consequences in their adulthood. Boundaries must be drawn early on or else....

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#26

I never understood the sentiment of valuing babies over all else. To me it always seemed obvious that fresh college graduates are most valuable to society, since we just finished investing a ton of money into them. Babies on the other hand are easily replaced. I get this is mainly an emotional argument, but it's still startling to me how opposite it is to the purely economic argument I made above. In fact usually peo…

> Babies on the other hand are easily replaced. Someone has never had a baby.

This shouldn't be downvoted, because its part of the argument. eg, still-born babies tend to have lots of emotional reprecussions. But the OP's point is that doesn;t make much sense. eg, the human female is programmed to reproduce every 28 days or whatever... but herein lies the heart of the issue...biology, rationality, and emotion, ane even culture are all (or may be) at cross purposes when it comes to this situation.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#27
post #6

A. Teller is probably more interesting to HN folks because he's head of Google X. This seems incongruous a little bit and then you see how people in Palo Alto parent...

This is related to the "obnoxious Little League Dad" phenomenon. Most of us have some disappointments about our lives. The way that some parents deal with those is to imagine that their children will succeed where they have failed. Once parents pay more attention to the image of a child than to the actual child, craziness ensues.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#28
For anyone who's interested in the rise in divorce rates, I highly recommend the book "The Two Income Trap". It basically tries to prove that the transition to dual income households damaged the financial security of many families. Pair this with the fact that the number one cause of fighting and divorce is money, and you have a better explanation than what this article provides.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#29

We've spared the rod for too long, IMHO. Not saying we should abuse our kids or even reprimand them physically necessarily, however seeing a two year old as anything more than a terrorist whom cannot be negotiated with, can have detrimental consequences in their adulthood. Boundaries must be drawn early on or else....

Your statement is a performative contradiction. Your proposition is that a two-year old is akin to a terrorist who cannot be negotiated with, but your suggesting boundaries be drawn as a resolution presupposes that in fact they can be negotiated with (negotiation necessarily implying the setting of boundaries), hence negating your point.

Re: American parenting is killing the American marriage (2014)

#30
post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, but a baby hasn't chosen a major, developed any mental illnesses, experienced any crippling trauma, or really done anything at all yet. A fresh college graduate is very often set for life when it comes to their career, brand preferences, political beliefs, religious beliefs, socioeconomic status, etc. but babies have a lot more variability in terms of possible outcome.

Thought the sample of college graduates vs. all 22 year olds are a little different. All babies will turn into all 22 year olds. Only some babies will turn into college graduates. Therefore some of a population, if selected artificially (i.e. college graduates) will always be better than the whole population (i.e. all babies.)

Hate to be that person, but it is true that most babies will turn into all 22 year olds.
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