Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#21

Post by iamailuj » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:23 PM UTC

This is something I've struggled with and did discuss with my boss after listening to this podcast. https://www.accidentalcreative.com/podcasts/ac/podcast-two-t...

I shared the podcast with my boss but first with a disclaimer to not panic. I didn't want them to think I was on my way out. I found that the podcast addressed exactly what I was feeling in regards to burnout. I suggested a 1:1 with my boss after to discuss direction and how they can help me make my way out of my slump.

It ended up being a really productive conversation and my boss thanked me for giving them the chance to discuss this with them. Since then my boss has been throwing more challenges and opportunities my way to mix things up and help me avoid burnout but also find new directions in the company that I like.

So my advice is if you like your day job but feel stuck and have a boss you feel you can trust, bring it up. But delivery is key.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#22

Post by rverghes » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:23 PM UTC

What would you want your boss to do?

Let's say this is a perfect, magical world where your boss will do everything possible to help you. What actions would she take? Would she switch you to another team? Reduce your workload? Allow you to work from home? Let you take a month off?

Basically your boss can't make your burnout magically go away. Figure out what you'd ideally want her to do. Then figure if that's even possible. If the concrete action you want is within your boss's power, then you may as well ask. But understand that your boss may say no, and you may end up quitting to get what you want.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#23

Post by grok2 » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:26 PM UTC

Yes, of course, you should. If your boss takes it properly, you will have a good outcome. If your boss takes it lightly or improperly, you know what you should then do.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#24

Post by robby1066 » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:36 PM UTC

I had a similar conversation with a manager a few years back, and it went much better than I expected. It's tough, because on one hand you're literally saying to the boss, "I'm currently unhappy and unable to work at the level I expect of myself.", but hopefully they are able to empathize enough to want to work through it. It could easily go the other way, though. My advice is to be prepared for it to be a conversation that leads to you not working there anymore, but at the same time be open to being pleasantly proved wrong.

Also, burnout feels terrible. Really sorry to hear that. Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#25

Post by samelawrence » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:39 PM UTC

TIL I've never had a good boss.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#26

Post by compostor42 » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:42 PM UTC

When was the last extended break you had and how long was it?

Take a good chunk of time off with zero computer, technical or online stuff.

When I quit my old job earlier this year (after being burnt out hard) I was able to take 3 weeks off before starting new gig at smaller start-up-ish company. I used ZERO electronics and such over the 3 weeks. No programming books are anything like that.Was finally "refreshed" when I started the new job.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#27

Post by html5web » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:45 PM UTC

Talk first with your boss and then make your decision.

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#28

Post by marricks » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:49 PM UTC

burp3141 wrote: post #11

My manager and I had a 10 year relationship going. I had just transitioned to a new role, had a new born and taken on too much. I was feeling it for 6 months but finally broke at around 9 months. I told him I couldn't do it anymore and that I wanted a sabbatical. I told them that my backup plan was to just quit. He talked me off the ledge and within a day had transitioned my troublesome projects to others and moved m…

Any manager which cares about their employees would say that, "you should have come to me sooner." Only issue is how many managers are actually empathetic?

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#29

Post by CaptSpify » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:51 PM UTC

burp3141 wrote: post #11

My manager and I had a 10 year relationship going. I had just transitioned to a new role, had a new born and taken on too much. I was feeling it for 6 months but finally broke at around 9 months. I told him I couldn't do it anymore and that I wanted a sabbatical. I told them that my backup plan was to just quit. He talked me off the ledge and within a day had transitioned my troublesome projects to others and moved m…

I would like to interject: This heavily depends on the boss. I've seen great bosses who will make stuff like this happen, and I've seen terrible bosses who don't give a shit. Make sure you work for the right-kind of boss if you are going to take this approach!

Re: Ask HN: Discuss burnout with boss?

#30

Post by davidgrenier » Wed, Oct 21, 2015, 8:53 PM UTC

It may take a little while, but I'd recommend reading Living Non-Violent communication or watching Marshall Rosenberg's 3 hour video on YouTube.

One important thing to grasp is the true nature of criticism (something that goes both ways). You will find it extremely difficult to get what you want from your boss if he hears a criticism as opposed to an unmet need, while if he hears the later there are much better chances that he will see it as an opportunity that he can opt-in.