Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Here they were, a third party with whom we had no agreement, yet they were interfering with our ability to do business (and profiting from it). Well... that's an oversimplification. You don't have an agreement, sure, but your recipient has an agreement with them --- your recipient has decided that it's with paying the spam filtering supplier to filter their mail for them. I realise that this doesn't help you, and f…
No. Our recipients had no knowledge of the third party. Instead, their email providers contracted with the third party for filtering services. EDIT: Not sure why it would preclude their liability in any case though. Their customers would be paying to have spam blocked, not emails from legitimate companies with whom they've agreed to do business. If they were blocking these demonstrably legit businesses in error and r…
Note that I'm not suggesting you did the wrong thing here --- I don't see anything else you could have done. I'm just saying that pinning the entirety of the blame on the third party provider is wrong.
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Having read the rest of the thread: I'm sorry to say but the reason why you're having so much difficulty, and the reason why you're getting hostile replies here, is that as an email advertiser people are going to automatically assume you're in the wrong. You are on the edge of an astonishingly dirty industry, and anyone who works in email has been so burnt by the Neptune-sized tidal wave of diarrhoea that is spam is likely to spit in your face before you have the chance to explain that you are not, in fact, a spammer. And chances are that they won't actually care. To a most people, email + advertising = spam.
I really don't have anything to suggest. I have written antispam software, and I've read some of the forums of both sides, and frankly I don't know who's scarier.