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'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

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Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#2
Why do people think this is a compliment?! "You're way too hot to be an engineer," said a man in the lift of her block of flats when she wore a T-shirt from program-sharing service Github. An awkward attempt at flattery, perhaps? "It definitely was not a compliment," she countered. "I was dumbfounded. What do you say to something like that?

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#3

Why do people think this is a compliment?! "You're way too hot to be an engineer," said a man in the lift of her block of flats when she wore a T-shirt from program-sharing service Github. An awkward attempt at flattery, perhaps? "It definitely was not a compliment," she countered. "I was dumbfounded. What do you say to something like that?

That's probably exactly what it was - an awkward attempt at flattery. An expression of interest, in an attempt to see if the interest might be mutual. After all, there's no logical reason attractive women can't be engineers.

Are women really so brittle they have to take offense at something like that? Do they really think they're somehow Striking a Blow Against The Patriarchy by humiliating some poor guy for not navigating the PC minefield?

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#4
post #3

Why do people think this is a compliment?! "You're way too hot to be an engineer," said a man in the lift of her block of flats when she wore a T-shirt from program-sharing service Github. An awkward attempt at flattery, perhaps? "It definitely was not a compliment," she countered. "I was dumbfounded. What do you say to something like that?

That's probably exactly what it was - an awkward attempt at flattery. An expression of interest, in an attempt to see if the interest might be mutual. After all, there's no logical reason attractive women can't be engineers. Are women really so brittle they have to take offense at something like that? Do they really think they're somehow Striking a Blow Against The Patriarchy by humiliating some poor guy for not navi…

"...not navigating the PC minefield"

I see variations on this phrase all over the place, and I don't understand it. It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). It's almost always obvious that some statements are pretty offensive or at the very least make people uncomfortable, and it only takes the smallest modicum of common sense and tact to avoid saying those things. "You're too hot to be an engineer" is an awkward thing to say to a woman in an elevator, and if you're a woman in tech, you're bombarded with those statements weekly. It's not about being brittle. It's about letting people know when what they're saying is garbage. If anything, the men complaining about how they don't like having to think before speaking are brittle.

Speaking as a man that manages to "navigate the PC minefield" every day, it really isn't difficult. I promise.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#5
post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's probably exactly what it was - an awkward attempt at flattery. An expression of interest, in an attempt to see if the interest might be mutual. After all, there's no logical reason attractive women can't be engineers. Are women really so brittle they have to take offense at something like that? Do they really think they're somehow Striking a Blow Against The Patriarchy by humiliating some poor guy for not navi…

"...not navigating the PC minefield" I see variations on this phrase all over the place, and I don't understand it. It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). It's almost always obvious that some statements are pretty offensive or at the very least make people uncomfortable, and it only takes the smallest modicum of common sense and tact to avoid sa…

>It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually).

No, actually, for some guys it is hard. If it's not hard for you, well, that's great. But the world is full of clumsy men.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#6
I don't understand how this women is the main victim here. There is a person who holds a prejudice of expecting people in nerdy fields to be ugly, and she breaks that expectation. Is she the one who suffers from it, or is it all the other people he interacts with and thinks "yeah, just another ugly nerd"?

This is anti-nerd more than anti-woman.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#7
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"...not navigating the PC minefield" I see variations on this phrase all over the place, and I don't understand it. It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). It's almost always obvious that some statements are pretty offensive or at the very least make people uncomfortable, and it only takes the smallest modicum of common sense and tact to avoid sa…

>It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). No, actually, for some guys it is hard. If it's not hard for you, well, that's great. But the world is full of clumsy men.

Part of professional life is understanding how to communicate with others and how to know before you say something how it will be taken. Some people aren't good at this, and those people should work on it until they get better at it. I wouldn't blame anyone who makes an honest effort. But many more people in my experience simply aren't interested in learning how to communicate with people that are different from them. In these cases, this mentality of blaming "PC culture" is just allowing people to remain lazy and ignorant.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#8
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"...not navigating the PC minefield" I see variations on this phrase all over the place, and I don't understand it. It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). It's almost always obvious that some statements are pretty offensive or at the very least make people uncomfortable, and it only takes the smallest modicum of common sense and tact to avoid sa…

>It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). No, actually, for some guys it is hard. If it's not hard for you, well, that's great. But the world is full of clumsy men.

> But the world is full of clumsy men.

But that doesn't excuse them from making offensive statements.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#9
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"...not navigating the PC minefield" I see variations on this phrase all over the place, and I don't understand it. It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). It's almost always obvious that some statements are pretty offensive or at the very least make people uncomfortable, and it only takes the smallest modicum of common sense and tact to avoid sa…

>It really isn't that hard to avoid saying offensive and distasteful things to women (or anyone else, actually). No, actually, for some guys it is hard. If it's not hard for you, well, that's great. But the world is full of clumsy men.

Seriously, if it is hard for some men I pity their total social incompetence and life of drooling over animated women in games.

Re: 'Too hot to be an engineer' – women mark Ada Lovelace Day

#10

I don't understand how this women is the main victim here. There is a person who holds a prejudice of expecting people in nerdy fields to be ugly, and she breaks that expectation. Is she the one who suffers from it, or is it all the other people he interacts with and thinks "yeah, just another ugly nerd"? This is anti-nerd more than anti-woman.

While there may be an expectation from non-geeks that geeks are "ugly", it is rarely something that mentioned to men.
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