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Feynman's Letter to His Wife

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51–60 of 63 posts

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#51

I read this at my dad's wedding, five years after my mom died. Wasn't sure how an atheist's letter to his dead wife would be received, but it kind of spoke to me.

In general I don't think the best time and place to make a tribute to your dad's dead wife is at his new wife's wedding.

I hope it wasn't passive aggressive.

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#52
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's heartening to read! But still, it rather damns with faint praise, doesn't it? With its "in the face of all obvious evidence to the contrary" and its "you may be able to get something out of it" and its observation that "we" have never been able to communicate with "the female mind". Yes, he's presumably trying to be lighthearted and cute and speak in a way that might connect with reluctant colleagues. But it's…

> Yes, he's presumably trying to be lighthearted and cute and speak in a way that might connect with reluctant colleagues. But it's still awfully condescending. He said that literally sixty years ago. Is every historical figure who didn't have the good fortune to live in our modern era of tolerance to be disavowed?

I don't think there's a single word in what I've written here that says "We must disavow Feynman!"

But Feynman is still held up as an ideal here in our modern era, for very good reasons. As such, it is both just and necessary for us to point out to the next generation the handful of areas where emulating him is not a good idea.

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#53
post #22

I was under impression that Feynman was a pickup artist (i.e. persuading ladies to have flings). During his work on the Bomb, i.e. before 1945. That's from his books. Can you please enlighten me on the issue?

My impression, which others may correct me on, is that he started down that road while in Los Alamos: I vaguely recall that his "You just ask them?" story was in that setting, anyway. I've always had the sense that he was deeply (and monogamously) devoted to his wife until her death. After her death, well, he says in this letter that he's had multiple girlfriends but that those relationships never went anywhere; my g…

"You just ask them?" was in Albuquerque during a summer after he was at Cornell, so 1946 at the earliest.[1]

[1] http://www.e-reading.club/chapter.php/71262/34/Feynman_-_Sur...

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#54
It still brings me comfort in a small way to see a dead friend in my contact list, or old emails from him.

I liked Feynman before and more so now. It's endearing that he's trying to work through it with her.

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#55
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's heartening to read! But still, it rather damns with faint praise, doesn't it? With its "in the face of all obvious evidence to the contrary" and its "you may be able to get something out of it" and its observation that "we" have never been able to communicate with "the female mind". Yes, he's presumably trying to be lighthearted and cute and speak in a way that might connect with reluctant colleagues. But it's…

> This quote speaks volumes about your own perspective. Does it? I was pointing out that today there are motives for publicly supporting women in the sciences that didn't exist in 1966. In that quote Feynman pushed things in a progressive direction in a different political atmosphere than we live in today.

No, it does not and you're completely right nerd_stuff. With all the feminism going on these days, accepting women as equals does not seem to be enough anymore.

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#56
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Yes, he's presumably trying to be lighthearted and cute and speak in a way that might connect with reluctant colleagues. But it's still awfully condescending. He said that literally sixty years ago. Is every historical figure who didn't have the good fortune to live in our modern era of tolerance to be disavowed?

I don't think there's a single word in what I've written here that says "We must disavow Feynman!" But Feynman is still held up as an ideal here in our modern era, for very good reasons. As such, it is both just and necessary for us to point out to the next generation the handful of areas where emulating him is not a good idea.

Is it necessary to bring it up every time he's mentioned anywhere, as has happened in this comments section?

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#57

I read this at my dad's wedding, five years after my mom died. Wasn't sure how an atheist's letter to his dead wife would be received, but it kind of spoke to me.

In general I don't think the best time and place to make a tribute to your dad's dead wife is at his new wife's wedding. I hope it wasn't passive aggressive.

I would like to think that a woman marrying a man who has gone through this would be quite well acquainted with (and respect) the fact that the man's love for the woman who passed would not be replaced by the new love.

Re: Feynman's Letter to His Wife

#58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's so hard to understand that a person that was so important to you won't be there to hear everything you wanted to tell them. I agree. I know this is going to sound creepy, but in certain African countries like Ghana there is a video made of the funeral just like they do for weddings. And when you miss whoever has passed away, you get to watch the video. It doesn't bring them back but you get to see the person.

Not creepy at all. I wanted to make a video of my brother but I was immediately shunned by some religious elders.

How dare you try to grieve in your own way.
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