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The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

quietrev.com

91–100 of 114 posts

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#91

The gold is at the bottom: “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” If there's one thing that will humble you it's trying to fathom the scale of the universe. You think a celebrity matters at these scales? But don't let it make you feel impotent - rejoice at the fact that you're alive, you exist and the world is fu…

"that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute" There is a paved road to clinical depression which starts with thoughts like these. I know it because I've taken it. Life stops having meaning if you take this too seriously - I mean, why do anything or achieve anything if we're just specs in time and space destined to die and be forgotten ? Besides, this doesn't necessarily imply humility.…

That sounds like what the article describes as high self-esteem coupled with an uncomfortable threat to that self-esteem (the larger the ego, the more likely it is to run into death anxiety).

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#92
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's no need for condescension (especially on HN). I presented that as an opinion rather than a scientific assertion. In terms of practicality, it is no more valid or invalid than most of the other theories/models of the human mind we entertain. But yes, I share your disdain for evolutionary psychology theories not backed up by data (I suspect these are what you call "cheap").

It wasn't condescension. Every word was accurate, intended, and addressed widely with the intention of it being understood by equally competent people. My concision was a reaction to its banality. The problem with evo-psych just-so stories is that they do not discriminate between possible worlds: ie. if men of place A were all angry then the just-so-ers of place A would come up with a story about why men are "evoluti…

> since evoltuion does not provide particular psychologies genetically - genetics provides merely the hardware, not the software.

I'd venture to say that's an unsupported assertion.

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#93
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's no need for condescension (especially on HN). I presented that as an opinion rather than a scientific assertion. In terms of practicality, it is no more valid or invalid than most of the other theories/models of the human mind we entertain. But yes, I share your disdain for evolutionary psychology theories not backed up by data (I suspect these are what you call "cheap").

It wasn't condescension. Every word was accurate, intended, and addressed widely with the intention of it being understood by equally competent people. My concision was a reaction to its banality. The problem with evo-psych just-so stories is that they do not discriminate between possible worlds: ie. if men of place A were all angry then the just-so-ers of place A would come up with a story about why men are "evoluti…

> genetics provides merely the hardware, not the software

Much like code and data, there has never really been a fixed bright line between hardware and software, even in systems where we intentionally engineer that distinction (whence came the term "firmware" and the closely related concept of "microcode").

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#94

The gold is at the bottom: “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” If there's one thing that will humble you it's trying to fathom the scale of the universe. You think a celebrity matters at these scales? But don't let it make you feel impotent - rejoice at the fact that you're alive, you exist and the world is fu…

"that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute" There is a paved road to clinical depression which starts with thoughts like these. I know it because I've taken it. Life stops having meaning if you take this too seriously - I mean, why do anything or achieve anything if we're just specs in time and space destined to die and be forgotten ? Besides, this doesn't necessarily imply humility.…

Balancing this line defines the human experience in my opinion. Objectively it is true, we are minute. But humanity is in the subjective making of meaning. That opportunity to make your own meaning is an incredible one if you choose to accept it. If you don't, it's not, and depression/nihilism results.

And the funny thing is, those who hone that strongest sense of subjective meaning and well being in how they see the world, are the ones who make an outsized butterfly-effect impact on the world, coming closest to overcoming that objective meaninglessnes.

So basically, imo the answer to why do anything? Is because you believe something is worth doing subjectively/on faith/on instinct. Only then does it have a chance to build toward a more objective answer to why do it, in its impact on people & history.

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#95
post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute" There is a paved road to clinical depression which starts with thoughts like these. I know it because I've taken it. Life stops having meaning if you take this too seriously - I mean, why do anything or achieve anything if we're just specs in time and space destined to die and be forgotten ? Besides, this doesn't necessarily imply humility.…

To the universe you are nothing. To history you are probably nothing. But to a small number of people you can be everything.

'Cause for the world you are someone, but for someone you're the world' ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOlG-H_Pjbg

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#96
post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute" There is a paved road to clinical depression which starts with thoughts like these. I know it because I've taken it. Life stops having meaning if you take this too seriously - I mean, why do anything or achieve anything if we're just specs in time and space destined to die and be forgotten ? Besides, this doesn't necessarily imply humility.…

We are minute, yet here we are - the Universe observing itself. "Why do anything?". Presented with these options, which would you prefer: A. Live a normal life and be promised that after your death people will fabricate a story of your adventure, heroism and glory? B. Live a life of adventure, heroism and glory with the promise that when you die nobody will remember you? The point being, why derive meaning from the n…

I'm not disagreeing with you but just feeling like I could look at (A) as be helpful too lots of people and (B) live a selfish life of hedonism. Was that your intent or do you see a different way of defining (A) and (B)?

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#97

The gold is at the bottom: “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” If there's one thing that will humble you it's trying to fathom the scale of the universe. You think a celebrity matters at these scales? But don't let it make you feel impotent - rejoice at the fact that you're alive, you exist and the world is fu…

When I do that, I open up to the sense of awe and wonder, but not necessarily humility.

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#98

The gold is at the bottom: “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” If there's one thing that will humble you it's trying to fathom the scale of the universe. You think a celebrity matters at these scales? But don't let it make you feel impotent - rejoice at the fact that you're alive, you exist and the world is fu…

"that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute" There is a paved road to clinical depression which starts with thoughts like these. I know it because I've taken it. Life stops having meaning if you take this too seriously - I mean, why do anything or achieve anything if we're just specs in time and space destined to die and be forgotten ? Besides, this doesn't necessarily imply humility.…

That's the feeling of "insignificance", the lack of agency, and seeing the pointlessness. None of those are humility.

When I contemplate the vast cosmic scale and look up in the stores, my jaws drop open like a kid, and I go "whoa..." That's the sense of awe and profoundness. It doesn't have to be about humility or about insignificance.

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#99
post #61

The gold is at the bottom: “The humble person is probably more aware and accepting of the fact that against a cosmic scale of time and space, every human being is minute.” If there's one thing that will humble you it's trying to fathom the scale of the universe. You think a celebrity matters at these scales? But don't let it make you feel impotent - rejoice at the fact that you're alive, you exist and the world is fu…

"What did your face look like before your parents were born?" There's a quality in these one-liners from the Zen tradition that I haven't experienced since I was obsessed with physics in high-school.

[deleted]

Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego

#100
I think this really depends on someone's stage of development for a particular issue. I'm coming from the frame that, there is no "standard" maturity for an "average" person. Each of us have pieces of ourselves that are in different stages of growth, and not necessarily because some of them got "stuck" somewhere. It is what it is.

For some people, on some issues, there is a need to assert themselves. I've met people for whom, some issue, left them feeling victimized, helpless, and hopeless. There's a shift that happens when, such a person drops that sense of victimization, and develops the sense of the initiative, of agency, of being able to make choices. For a lot of people, this idea that you can make choices (as opposed to merely taking options presented in front of you) is life-altering.

Likewise, when you are used to making choices and having an effect on the world, all sorts of things now come up. This includes the asshole (someone acting from entitled superiority), the jerk, (someone acting as if surrounded by idiots), and so forth.

As one of my friends put it, the "ego" -- and by that, I speak of "the acquired self", or "the conditioned self" -- likes to take credit for everything even if it is not the source of everything. That means that even humility, modesty, charity, mercy can get hijacked by the ego. I've met people, even meditators, for whom, the ego hijacks the spiritual development that comes out of their practices.

One of the things the ego can hijack is that very capability of making choices (real choice, not just taking one of the options). We have long associated the acquired self with this idea of making choices, but making real Choice ... the ego actually shies away from it.

It's similar to how most people don't actually want real Change. Real change has much more to do with death. People tend to seek out novelty, instead -- apparent change that doesn't really change anything deep down.

One of the things I've been working on in the past week or so in my meditation is the relationship between posturing and posture. Posturing happens as a result of clashing egos. In some cases, maybe it is just one person thinking they need to posture, while no one else is participating. The noun "posture", though, is neutral, associated with "martial arts stance", or "yoga asana". I've found through martial arts, there is a particular feeling that comes from wanting to win and overcome the other person, which leads to becoming physically unbalanced, and then the other person exploits that. My desire to win and submit the the other person is the seed of defeat. A lot of work went into being sensitive to balance and imbalance ... to seek out balance within myself, to upset the balance in my opponent, to correct postures and structure of the body, to learn how to break all of that. It's only in the last week that it dawned on me that posturing is accompanied with the same kind of imbalance in the emotional and social dimension, and that by simply by dropping things to the ground, the desire to win an argument disappears.

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