I would pay for a social network/dating app/site for the introverted. I just do not know whether this is an oxymoron or not, but if someone figures this I would pay for it. Gladly.
Would probably turn into another Ashley Madison scam lol.
The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
21–30 of 114 posts
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#22Interesting. I want to make a point that questions the premise of the article. What is wrong if people dont have a quiet ego? What is wrong with the fact that humility is mentioned 43% less. Why is that automatically bad( I am not saying it is good either)? Values of a society change over period of time, many things that were acceptable behavior in the 1900s are not acceptable anymore. In the early 1900s black people…
Let's be honest. The things the article is talking about are largely a reflection of people's demands. The type of people who are looking for self help are clearly not looking for lessons in humility. There is a type of person who would experience problems in their life from not having enough humility. Maybe the number of these people who experience enough personal problems to seek self help has gone down. Perhaps th…
The reduction of 'humility'/'humbleness' was across a broad sample of books, not only the self-help section, and was part of a broader study [1] describing the down-trend in many words associated with virtue.
You can indeed interpret these statistics in many ways, but you first need to know the statistics.
[1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254336923_The_cultu...
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#23Interesting. I want to make a point that questions the premise of the article. What is wrong if people dont have a quiet ego? What is wrong with the fact that humility is mentioned 43% less. Why is that automatically bad( I am not saying it is good either)? Values of a society change over period of time, many things that were acceptable behavior in the 1900s are not acceptable anymore. In the early 1900s black people…
The article doesn't demonize anyone, or say anyone is "automatically bad". Nor did the author suggest that people should avoid change. In fact, he's proposing an alternative view, not a traditional view.
He's also not making statements about the superiority of anyone. I think he's trying to encourage less focus on superiority in the first place.
What's really bothering you about this article? You seem really frustrated.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#24Earlier quoted context omitted.
Let's be honest. The things the article is talking about are largely a reflection of people's demands. The type of people who are looking for self help are clearly not looking for lessons in humility. There is a type of person who would experience problems in their life from not having enough humility. Maybe the number of these people who experience enough personal problems to seek self help has gone down. Perhaps th…
The reduction of 'humility'/'humbleness' was across a broad sample of books, not only the self-help section, and was part of a broader study [1] describing the down-trend in many words associated with virtue. You can indeed interpret these statistics in many ways, but you first need to know the statistics. [1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254336923_The_cultu...
Thank you for pointing this out.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#25I would pay for a social network/dating app/site for the introverted. I just do not know whether this is an oxymoron or not, but if someone figures this I would pay for it. Gladly.
An 'Anti-social network', so to speak. I too, have thought of this before. The main feature, I suppose, would be that interactions revolve around smaller groups.
Introversion has nothing to do with being anti-social. An introverted person can be as sociable as an extrovert. The main difference is that the introvert doesn't get energised by being around other people; they need time alone to recharge. An extrovert is the opposite - they're tired by spending time alone but recharge in social situations.
Susan Cains book "Quiet" is an exceptional exploration of the field, and well worth reading to breakdown some of the misconceptions about introverts.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#26Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#27It's funny how most of this ideas are in reality very old concepts of Greek/Roman philosophy. Seneca was a big proponent of "quite ego", for instance (his critic to a strong ego/desire: Tamquam mortales timetis, omnia tamquam immortales concupiscitis). Socrates could be too. I think the common denominator was the understanding that we have no access to the Truth and that we might as well spend the time trying to know ourselves.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#28Interesting. I want to make a point that questions the premise of the article. What is wrong if people dont have a quiet ego? What is wrong with the fact that humility is mentioned 43% less. Why is that automatically bad( I am not saying it is good either)? Values of a society change over period of time, many things that were acceptable behavior in the 1900s are not acceptable anymore. In the early 1900s black people…
Also in 1900s people had less stuff in their houses, even the middle/upper class ones. I think a big change in 'industrial' countries since then has been mass production and the proliferation of things, so most people now are surrounded by new stuff. I think this must have altered our sense of ourselves in some way.
Social change has occured as well of course, hugely, the availability of information about other countries and other ways of living have contributed to that.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#29I really liked this — but how to cultivate a quiet ego?
Spend time with people much smarter than you.
Re: The Benefits of a Quiet Ego
#30I really liked this — but how to cultivate a quiet ego?
The four facets described in the article are qualities that can be practiced, especially mindfulness and perspective taking. So long as the practice is done deliberately and evaluated honestly, I think a quiet ego is an unavoidable result. (A hint: look out for spasms of defensiveness or other hypocrisy in yourself, since these are exactly the parts which deserve more attention.[1] Don't miss your responses to noticing these things, either. Also look for exactly what in the world you identify with, and what process is involved in this identification, when you refer to 'I'.)
For something more from a particular tradition, "Mindfulness in Plain English" is a reasonably good start.
One confusing thing is the use of the word "ego," by the way. A good working definition is "a belief that the self is more than a mental construct," and so "loud ego" refers to putting this belief at the forefront of one's life. Note that this has nothing to do with believing in a self, the construct of self most certainly exists[2] and is useful (though likely not in the way you think it does or is). This is in contrast to Freudian 'ego' which is, as I understand it, the mediator between superego and subconscious. Like, as an analogy, your stomach is an important organ, but it has its rightful place. There's no need for structuring your life around, elevating, and identifying with the stomach as the seat of conscious experience. (Though we do structure our lives around eating. The stomach, digestive system, and body still need food to exist after all...)
[1] A related feeling which I'm sure people in the knowledge business would recognize is that unpleasant sensation of coming into contact with something confusing. If the goal is understanding a subject, then this is a good indicator for the things which could use more work, but it is surprising how resistant we can be to realizing it: it's as if confusing things sometimes become invisible!
[2] I'm ontologically uncomfortable to be categorically claiming this, but it seems true enough to me.