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Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

citylab.com

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Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#61

Post by bsder »

jmadsen wrote: post #25

OP here - just my own thoughts: I've lived here 13 years & am raising 2 girls who both have been able to live in the manner described in the article. 1) The number one reason why we feel comfortable is the number of "safe" people constantly around. In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supe…

> In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supermarket has parking attendants. Every construction site has "guards" to make sure people cross the area safely. Every train station has staff around.

It is difficult to have this when a man interacting with a small child is at risk of being accused of being a pedophile.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#62

Post by hencq »

saosebastiao wrote: post #28

I would love to be able to do this with my 3yo son...but there are two things stopping me: Cars and helicopter parent culture. Cars, and the entitled culture we have fostered around them, make streets hostile to pedestrians and likely fatal to small children, even if children followed the laws and common sense. I experience it practically daily. Every time I cross the street at a marked intersection, cars will stop f…

I think car culture also means that everything is further away. I grew up in a small town in the Netherlands and from a young age I'd walk/bike everywhere (sports training, friends' places, etc.). When everything is close by, it's easy for parents to gradually give children more space and responsibilities. For example, at a very young age I was only allowed to walk/bike to the end of the street. Then, later, I started walking to school. Then, later still, I'd bike to my grandparents in the neighboring town and so on to taking public transport to the city to go to secondary school. If you have to drive your children everywhere it becomes difficult to gradually give them more independence in this way.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#63

Post by mkehrt »

ajkjk wrote: post #15
nostromo wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

New York has a walking and transit culture similar to Tokyo. Yet most New Yorkers would not feel comfortable sending a six year old out alone. I don't think walking and transit use is alone responsible for the difference.

I don't think anyone perceives New York as safe enough for sending children out alone.

New York is one of the safest cities in the world.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#64

Post by anigbrowl »

zach wrote: post #59

They have "My First Errand", we have Dateline NBC and America's Most Wanted. What else should we expect? I think Americans have an almost pathological reflex to gaze at sentimental stories that are sensational because they are exceptional, then use them as guidelines for how the world is now. The sentimentality aspect, which drives interest, outrage and action, is what makes it so pernicious. Sentimental appeal is wh…

Americans have an almost pathological reflex to gaze at sentimental stories that are sensational because they are exceptional

I don't think those stories are sentimental - sentimental to me means stories like 'adopted siblings reunited after 40 years or something.' The crime-centric TV shows you mention tap into a kind of latent sadism which allows people to vicariously enjoy the violence of gruesome crimes and then project their bad feelings about themselves on the perpetrator, revving up the sadism again in anticipation of an impending execution or a lifetime rotting away behind bars. They are a form of ritually desexualized pornography.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#65

Post by kevinnk »

kuschku wrote: post #48
newman314 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would advance that there isn't much respect, period. Part of the American mentality of everyone for themselves I guess. It's frustrating. You can lose something expensive in Japan like a watch and be relatively assured that no one will touch it for hours/days unless it is to safe keep whereas if the same thing were to happen in the US, it's pretty much a goner. =(

Germany in most places the same, lost a laptop, got a few days later a phone call (had my phone number on the laptop login screen displayed) and they asked where to bring it.

I left my wallet and phone on a subway in Manhattan. Both got returned to me (including about $50 cash I had in the wallet). My girlfriend's iPhone 6 fell out of her purse in a nightclub in San Francisco. It got returned to her the next day. In college, my bike got taken during the night and returned a few days later with a sickynote saying the person who took it was drunk and didn't want to drive home. While in Japan, my friends got scammed by thugs who demanded $1000 to leave the "club" they were tricked into entering.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#66

Post by jzwinck »

bsder wrote: post #61
jmadsen wrote: post #25

OP here - just my own thoughts: I've lived here 13 years & am raising 2 girls who both have been able to live in the manner described in the article. 1) The number one reason why we feel comfortable is the number of "safe" people constantly around. In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supe…

> In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supermarket has parking attendants. Every construction site has "guards" to make sure people cross the area safely. Every train station has staff around. It is difficult to have this when a man interacting with a small child is at risk of being accuse…

Most of what was described is people protecting children or pedestrians not by interacting with them, but by interacting with motorists, strangers, etc. For example, many construction sites in Japan, as well as many shopping malls and large car parks, have a person at the exit who watches the street and stops vehicles from exiting when cross traffic is present. A pedestrian, child, or cyclist on the pavement need not do anything, the system is passive for them.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#67

Post by jzwinck »

saosebastiao wrote: post #28

I would love to be able to do this with my 3yo son...but there are two things stopping me: Cars and helicopter parent culture. Cars, and the entitled culture we have fostered around them, make streets hostile to pedestrians and likely fatal to small children, even if children followed the laws and common sense. I experience it practically daily. Every time I cross the street at a marked intersection, cars will stop f…

Before you put too much blame on car culture you should know a few things about Japan. First, cars are cheap, and lots of people drive. However, lots of the same people also have a bicycle which they use for short trips including grocery shopping. People also walk. This means drivers have more empathy for people not in cars. Second, the speed limits are low. Some decent looking roads are 50 kph whereas in America they would be 45 mph, about 50 percent faster. Third, children walking to and from school wear fluorescent helmets. This is a safety precaution American children would not tolerate for themselves or on others.

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#68

Post by [deleted] »

lfowles wrote: post #31
ansible wrote: post #5

And this is in stark contrast to my neighborhood in the USA, where parents will wait with their children for the schoolbus pickup... not even a block from their own house. Now granted, we occasionally have reckless drivers speeding down the street. There isn't as much respect for pedestrians in the USA, so I guess that's a factor.

A year old report on motorists passing stopped school buses: http://www.ksde.org/Home/QuickLinks/NewsRoom/tabid/586/aid/5...

[deleted]

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#69

Post by jmadsen »

bsder wrote: post #60
jmadsen wrote: post #25

OP here - just my own thoughts: I've lived here 13 years & am raising 2 girls who both have been able to live in the manner described in the article. 1) The number one reason why we feel comfortable is the number of "safe" people constantly around. In Japan, every apartment building of size has maintenance people who stay several years and know all the children in the neighborhood, and recognize strangers. Every supe…

> assaults on children/young people are a problem, and parents worry. Statistically, they are a very low problem if we disregard assaults by family members. It may be that, in the US, CPS may be more of a hazard than strangers at this point. The fact that the US is pedestrian-hostile is more problematic. For any given segment of a trip in Japan, there are probably other adult pedestrians walking that segment as well.…

Statistically, yes. However, there is rarely a week that goes by without some incident of kidnapping & murder.

The point being only that is DOES exist & parents see it and consider it, but it has not turned into the "helicopter syndrome" like in the US

Re: Why are little kids in Japan so independent?

#70

Post by duderific »

Mz wrote: post #37
dreamfactory2 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it any more dangerous now? Crime rates are generally down per capita I believe, hopefully car accidents too. I'm not sure this story about Japan is particularly unusual or odd in much of the world. I ran around London on my own from about 7 fwiw

You mean in the U.S.? I honestly don't know if it more dangerous now than when I was a kid. I do know that kids are generally less free to roam around their own hometown without parental supervision than they used to be, something multiple other people have remarked upon elsewhere in this same discussion. I used to play in the patch of woods behind my house. So did all the neighbor kids. Sometimes, a bunch of kids wo…

I am roughly the same age as you, and experienced the same thing as kid. At age 8 or 9, in the summer, we were outside all day playing with other kids. If I wasn't home when the streetlights went on (signaling darkness), my Mom would come out and whistle loudly, the signal to get home. We roamed for miles on our BMX bikes (no helmets, mind you) and somehow we survived ok.

Now I have a 1 year old son of my own, and I'm truly saddened that he probably will never experience that type of youthful freedom. I am resolved not to become that helicopter parent, but it's hard to battle against the social pressure.

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