I think of utility as the first principle of economics. Is your criticism that it can be used to explain a person chooses to overdose on heroin as much as why someone donates their time to charity? But couldn't the same be said of biology, and how natural selection explains both intraspecies predation and altruism? I mean, it can sound like a circular argument, but on the other hand if it happens there was something that made it possible to happen, too.
I don't at all agree that classical economics as a specific school is particularly focused on utility compared to others. Wouldn't that be a little like saying high school algebra is closer to set theory than say abstract algebra?
To establish a correspondence between utility and the real world, I think it is worthwhile to acknowledge that an understanding of what predated currency has shifted away from barter economies and toward economies that traded influence and status. Or, similarly, take a look at this story from a few weeks ago[1], where the consistent theme to me seems that people's behavior occurs within a context, and that anthropology might be as good a way to explain things as a highly simplified reward and punishment framework. That is, utility is maximized by acting consistent with your perceived identity as much as through projections of rewards from various choices.
So, while I don't think the concept of utility by itself says that status and identity play the primary role, I also don't think it is implausible.
And yet, you're right that open source isn't just hobbyists, and I doubt contributions from corporations contribute to prestige in any way that is valuable, so as you said:
>My guess is that open source software reduces the transaction costs of acquiring and fixing software for corporations [...] It should be a tragedy of the commons, but it isn't.
— leaving us with a poorly understood phenomenon. Is this just a moment in time specific to the age of a current generation of programmers, that won't last, or is there a dynamic that is more sustainable?
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10057285