Hey HN, I wrote this, thanks for all the feedback. In particular if I've mischaracterized the functionality of a service or you see something that's really off please email me at mike@expeditedssl.com or just tell me here and I'll fix it.
EC2/"Amazon Virtual Servers" - true today, perhaps. But when EC2 first launched, they were trying hard to sell the "elasticity" and "pay for what you use" aspects, which were unique at the time. There were no EBS volumes, the storage was all ephemeral. While it was possible to use EC2 instances as virtual servers, that was really not what they were designed for.
IAM/Users Keys and Certs - I agree that IAM is a bad name, but it's still useful to distinguish between aws API authentication and other kinds of authentication. Say "IAM" in a conversation and people will immediately know what you're talking about. Say "Users, Keys and Certs" and you'll have to keep distinguishing between certs for your websites, OS host keys, and that kind of thing.
S3/"Amazon Unlimited FTP Server" - Sorry but this one would just be very misleading. S3 is not an FTP service it is a distributed object store.
VPC/Virtual Colocated Rack" - Again I think using words like colocation and rack would just be misleading. VPC gives you software-defined networking. I think the real issue here is that amazon missed the mark just a little in the original design. VPC should have been the default mode of operation, where the initial VPC was transparent and got a default name. Not a big mistake in the long run but it did mean they had to deploy and name a new service.
RDS/Amazon SQL - I think "Relational Database Service" should be easily understood by any developer using a relational database. If you don't know that MySQL, Postgres, and Oracle are relational databases, consider this the right time to learn.
SQS/Amazon Queue: "Simple Queue Service" is basically the same as "Amazon Queue" except that it uses the same naming convention as S3 so that it's easily recognized as an AWS service rather than some generic amazon store feature.
Elastic Map Reduce/Hadooper: I think "Map Reduce" is much plainer English than "Hadooper."
CodeCommit/Amazon Github: This would be a blatant trademark violation. Also implies that it's less "plain English" given that Github is a proper noun and not a straightforward description of a service. I don't love "CodeCommit" but can't immediately think of anything better.