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Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

nytimes.com

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Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#11

Post by seiji »

roymurdock wrote: post #7
a3voices wrote: post #5

I wonder how much of this stress is caused by technological advances. I bet Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. is making these poor kids neurotic.

The article calls this out pretty explicitly: In the era of social media, such comparisons take place on a screen with carefully curated depictions that don’t provide the full picture. Mobile devices escalate the comparisons from occasional to nearly constant...Madison Holleran’s suicide provided what might be the ultimate contrast between a shiny Instagram feed and interior darkness. Ms. Holleran posted images that…

Madison judged her social life as inferior to what she saw in the online posts of her high school friends.

I'm 32 and still feel shitty about life compared against everybody else posting their amazingly perfect success-success-success lives online.

Computers used to be the domain of nerds, then they became too common and now it's a permanent social status ranking high school game you never get to exit and can't even completely opt out of either.

Maybe we could make a viral game like the ice bucket challenge except this challenge is to not post online when something amazing happens in your life. Just be quiet and know you got away with something.

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#12

Post by sbuccini »

At Stanford, this is known as the "duck syndrome." Ducks appear to glide easily on the water, but beneath the surface they are paddling like mad.

In a similar way, students may appear to be happy and content when chatting with them in person, but are actually dealing with larger issues that they don't show.

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#13

Post by rjbwork »

seiji wrote: post #11
roymurdock wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article calls this out pretty explicitly: In the era of social media, such comparisons take place on a screen with carefully curated depictions that don’t provide the full picture. Mobile devices escalate the comparisons from occasional to nearly constant...Madison Holleran’s suicide provided what might be the ultimate contrast between a shiny Instagram feed and interior darkness. Ms. Holleran posted images that…

Madison judged her social life as inferior to what she saw in the online posts of her high school friends. I'm 32 and still feel shitty about life compared against everybody else posting their amazingly perfect success-success-success lives online. Computers used to be the domain of nerds, then they became too common and now it's a permanent social status ranking high school game you never get to exit and can't even…

How can one not completely opt out? I'm completely opted out of it all. All I've got left is a facebook profile I haven't updated in over 5 years.

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#14

Post by wmt »

seiji wrote: post #11
roymurdock wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article calls this out pretty explicitly: In the era of social media, such comparisons take place on a screen with carefully curated depictions that don’t provide the full picture. Mobile devices escalate the comparisons from occasional to nearly constant...Madison Holleran’s suicide provided what might be the ultimate contrast between a shiny Instagram feed and interior darkness. Ms. Holleran posted images that…

Madison judged her social life as inferior to what she saw in the online posts of her high school friends. I'm 32 and still feel shitty about life compared against everybody else posting their amazingly perfect success-success-success lives online. Computers used to be the domain of nerds, then they became too common and now it's a permanent social status ranking high school game you never get to exit and can't even…

Don't get fooled by the success-posts on FB, as they are an extremely edited version of real life. If you really put on effort to make your life appear as fabulous as possible on FB, wouldn't you be also feel shitty compared to that version of you?

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#15

Post by caseysoftware »

danso wrote: post #8

ESPN did an amazing longform article about the track star mentioned in the OP, Madison Holleran: http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/12833146/instagra... One of the themes of that story, as in the OP, is how social media distorts the reality of experience, making people think that everything is exciting and upbeat in others' lives...I think for better or worse, this effect is stronger in Instagram, and not jus…

I came across this one a while back:

"How many takes did you do before you posted the #nomakeupselfie that you were proud of showing to the world? I can't believe you just scrubbed your make-up off, took a photo, and published it within 10 seconds. Did you?"[1]

In the poll results, 23% said "at least 3 times" and 44% said they lost count. The "ideal" life that everyone is portraying is a joke and a fraud to make themselves feel better because everyone else looks so good because they're making themselves feel better. It's effectively an arms race. (no pun intended)

[1] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10713599/No-mak...

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#16

Post by gott »

wmt wrote: post #14
seiji wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Madison judged her social life as inferior to what she saw in the online posts of her high school friends. I'm 32 and still feel shitty about life compared against everybody else posting their amazingly perfect success-success-success lives online. Computers used to be the domain of nerds, then they became too common and now it's a permanent social status ranking high school game you never get to exit and can't even…

Don't get fooled by the success-posts on FB, as they are an extremely edited version of real life. If you really put on effort to make your life appear as fabulous as possible on FB, wouldn't you be also feel shitty compared to that version of you?

A success is it when you can stay real and still have success, but are not afraid to post your fails also... We all learn and if we don´t say what we do wrong, how will the people learn? It´s nice to show off, but even nicer to be a good teacher and actually be of benefit to the others...i see so many chicks recieving tons of likes, they could be of service but like it more to have this social networking as their mirror where they make themselfs beauties.. Off course someone should feel bad by doing it, it is about character and mutual respect... Not about: HEY LOOK AT ME... Good point!

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#17

Post by yareally »

Animats wrote: post #2

From the article: "Several times in high school she had found herself attracted to other girls, but believing her parents and church did not fully accept homosexuality, she had pushed aside those feelings." This reads more like a gay issue than a school pressure issue. The author of the article may have an agenda - by the same author, "A University Recognizes a Third Gender: Neutral", "A Gender-Neutral Glossary", and…

> Here in Silicon Valley, there are now suicide-watch guards at the three railroad crossings near Palo Alto's Paly and Gunn high schools. Infrared cameras are being installed.[3]

Doesn't that seem a bit short-sided to assume that people will only attempt suicide at railroad crossings and nowhere else along the rail line?

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#18

Post by mc32 »

aaron695 wrote: post #6

> Nationally, the suicide rate among 15- to 24-year-olds has increased modestly but steadily since 2007: from 9.6 deaths per 100,000 to 11.1, in 2013 (the latest year available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). I possibly missed it but how does that compare to on campus? the supposed point of the article.

Also, one alternative is people not striving to succeed and then being depressed about not having achieved anything, relatively. Or perhaps there is a middle where everyone is happy being average like everyone else.

That said, if there is an uptick in this symptom of society at large, society should try to figure out the cause and then decide if this is a deal we're willing to make.

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#19

Post by Animats »

yareally wrote: post #17
Animats wrote: post #2

From the article: "Several times in high school she had found herself attracted to other girls, but believing her parents and church did not fully accept homosexuality, she had pushed aside those feelings." This reads more like a gay issue than a school pressure issue. The author of the article may have an agenda - by the same author, "A University Recognizes a Third Gender: Neutral", "A Gender-Neutral Glossary", and…

> Here in Silicon Valley, there are now suicide-watch guards at the three railroad crossings near Palo Alto's Paly and Gunn high schools. Infrared cameras are being installed.[3] Doesn't that seem a bit short-sided to assume that people will only attempt suicide at railroad crossings and nowhere else along the rail line?

Fences. Now, 8 foot fences with anti-climbing devices on top.

Re: Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

#20

Post by DanBC »

We need to talk about suicide but articles like this possibly raise risk. The detailed description of a person and her reasons; mention of methods; mention of locations; etc all are possibly harmful.

That leading photo is of an exhibition that IMO would significantly increase risk.

The author makes no mention of gender differences in rates of completed suicide (far more common in males). (And it's not just a difference in methods).

Most of the article is speculation - sometimes by people working in suicide prevention but still speculation. It would be nice to see more rigorous research being used.

There are some good bits about the article: there's a message of hope.

But not including the contact details of suicide prevention services in an article like this is dangerous and irresponsible.

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