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Fifty

jacquesmattheij.com

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Re: Fifty

#11

Post by davedx »

So much of this rings true for me, and I'm a few years away from 40.

As an expat living in the Netherlands who has never really believed in "formal speech", it really takes some getting used to when people (usually a lot younger than me) call me "u". I always think "wow, this kid is so polite, how bizarre!". I still haven't really gotten the hang of when I should use the formal you, and constantly call strangers "je". I've only ever had one Dutch person actually state explicitly that I should call him "u". It is maybe not a coincidence that he was a bit of a jerk in general.

At least living in the Netherlands, our creaking knees will always be able to bicycle where we want to! No big annoying hills like there seems to be everywhere back in the UK, or in other countries. ;)

Gefeliciteerd. :)

Re: Fifty

#12

Post by skrebbel »

skrebbel wrote: post #10

> When I’m in a group of people my own age I feel as though I’m around old people, I can’t help it. This one really rings with me. Unfortunately, many old people act like old people. I once worked at a software agency where even the more ambitious young people acted like old people. Age is just a number, but the only one who decides to fully favour the comforts of the known to the appeal of the new and risky is you.…

By the way, Jacques, I'm really curious about that story about not working for Eckart Wintzen. He died just when I started getting into the software industry at all, but his writings are very inspiring and he's been a force of positive change around me even after his death. Did you write that up anywhere?

Re: Fifty

#13

Post by tmaly »

I have a friend that is 53 that still does triathlons with people half his age.

Re: Fifty

#14

Post by smoyer »

Welcome to "this side" - the secret is that there are no sides, you might become a day more experienced today than you were yesterday. I don't feel (or act) my age and since I don't celebrate my birthday (or even let others know it's occurred), their guess as to my age is always way low.

In any case, you may not consider yourself employable, but there's almost always a bias for the "gets things done" person. If your blogging and comments here on HN are any indication, I don't think you'd have an issue with someone that's truly looking for the right person. Many institutions are looking for the politically correct person and like you, I don't have time for them.

Fijne verjaardag :-)

Re: Fifty

#15

Post by greggman »

cstross wrote: post #8

I hit 51 next month, and that's ... well. These decadal anniversaries seem to get more onerous each time. 20? No problem, it just means you're not a teenager any more! 30? Okay, you're officially a grownup, but you can still party! 40 was pause for concern, but it isn't what it used to be, the threshold of middle age: that's 50. Oops ... Well, as Terry Pratchett observed, inside every old man there's an eight year ol…

I'm in a similar place to the OP. I turn 50 in a week. I get told often I look in my 30s. The majority of my friends are in their 30s. Hung out for 6 months with 28yr olds forming a startup last year, they asked me to join them. With few exceptions I don't fit with people my age.

What I find frustrating is the society at large won't let me ignore my age. You get categorized all the time. Some meetup or dating event is 30-45. Some form has age categories. Visas to visit countries have age limits (as in we let students in but you're clearly too old to be a student). Articles all the time tell you who you should be, behave, for your age. Others tell you if you're XX age you can't do that anymore. Whatever it is. Can't go back to school. Can't learn a new language. Can't join a start up. Bla bla bla.

Sure, most people's first reaction is "ignore that" but it's oppressive. It's a viral meme that eats at your thoughts

Big life decisions are also harder because you start to realize each choice cuts off others so which choice to make?

Re: Fifty

#16

Post by danieltillett »

The bit about not feeling your age is so true. I am a little bit younger, but I really don't feel that different to when I was 20 - maybe just a little less angry about the world.

Re: Fifty

#17

Post by jacquesm »

Wow, my inbox just overflowed with people mailing me happy birthday, now I get it :)

Thanks to all!

Re: Fifty

#19

Post by amelius »

Look at it this way: even an old cat jumps into a tree like it was a young kitten. It simply doesn't know it is old. So why should we behave any differently?

Re: Fifty

#20

Post by niklasni1 »

paulojreis wrote: post #9
jgrahamc wrote: post #2

Goddam base-10-centric view of things :-) Happy Birthday!

Yup. Just turned out 30; feel depressed as sh*t.

Hey, hang in there, it's only two more years till you hit your hexadecimal twenties, which is where the real party is!
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