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I just lost my fifth job in six years

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Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#31

Post by lgieron »

franbulax wrote: post #15

I've suffered in a similar way for over 40 years. Like you, I tried psychologists and psychiatrists, meds and meditation, all of which had varying success. Mostly I ended up with the same black dog following me around -- sometimes father away and sometimes closer, but always there. My life is a litany of jobs I quit, never again to talk to any of my co-workers, and jobs that were ended for me; lost friends and friend…

What a great comment. I'm actually trying to learn a new skill that's intimidatingly hard for me, and I kept a link to this comment to remind myself in the hard times that it will be worth it in the end.

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#32

Post by panjaro »

Having changed 5 jobs in last 1.5 yrs, I am finally feeling a bit better ! How? I started seeing a Consultant !

One exercise he did just changed my way I saw the world. I may or may not help you but it helped me.

He listed all problems I have on the left hand side. Why I feel bad. Why I hate myself. Why I think I'm a failure etc etc. Then he wrote all good things I have. He forced me to think all good things around me. I said there is no good thing around me. He asked do you have a job. I said Yes. Well there it is. One good thing. Suddenly we came up with around 5 items.

Then he asked. Where do you think you rank among all the population of the world. I said may be 50%. But you know where we all are? May be top 5% of most privileged group. It just changed the way I saw where I was and what I did or what I had to do.

Find a good consultant. It does make difference. My previous consultant wasn't good and I really didn't believe in therapy until I met the recent Consultant.

Best of Luck Mate !

Another thing: Talk. Talking does a lot of good.

Once you change the way you think, everything else will make sense and get better.

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#33

Post by sirmiller »

After struggling with a similiar problem for nearly ten years I finally bit the bullet and took 6 month "me time" last year.

Had to beg friends and family for money, but now I'm more stable than anyone else.

You need to step out of the system. Meds and therapy won't cut it.

Afterwards move to finnland. Everybody is depressive here 8 month a year, so your boss will be happy if you curl up for a week instead of killing yourself. (Even if it sounds sarcastic ... it's true!)

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#34

Post by [deleted] »

paulcole wrote: post #9
tenken wrote: post #3

I'm not aware of jobs where you can not work a week -- and keep your job. That being said, you sound like programming is your only employment avenue. I dunno think waaaaaaay outta the box for things more Social or Outgoing. Eg, maybe look into being a social worker, a county park ranger (like a city park, not necessarily Yosemite ...). These types of jobs are either people/interaction heave (social worker) or very so…

"I'm not aware of jobs where you can not work a week -- and keep your job." There are actually jobs like this provided by compassionate caring employers. You just have to keep looking until you find one. At my most recent position, I was out for a full week for health reasons on 3 separate occasions in a 1-year period with no problems.

[deleted]

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#36

Post by 27182818284 »

WoodenChair wrote: post #2

> Is there any kind of a career that you know of that I might still succeed in? Something where a week here and there of being stuck in I-fucking-want-to-curl-up-and-cry mode isn't a deal breaker? Academia. I would also add though that from reading this - read it back to yourself - maybe you don't really love programming - or at least being a programmer at big corporations. Maybe you haven't yet found what you really…

>Academia.

Do you mean as staff or as a tenured professor? Otherwise this is not true at the different universities I've worked for. Staff still file for time off in a unified HR system. Staff have to file with FMLA or whatever when those situations come up. The submitter would be ordered to a joint meeting with an HR staffer and their direct report. Both will repeat over and over again they want to help and then send the employee to the Employee Assistance Program that various colleges have, etc. It is absolutely not a place you could just take off for a week. Even if your boss was cool (most are, it is academia) the CPAs and HRs in the other buildings aren't as cool.

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#37

Post by airframeng »

Great comments here. My advice would be similar to what others have said. Try working with people. Last year I was tutoring high school kids and it was a great experience. Working with stressed out kids was much less stressful than working with stressed out adults and it put everything into perspective. Any kind of work where you are interacting with people in a non-competitive environment (or compassionate environment) but also using your intellectual skills (Don't work at Taco Bell!). Try contracting rather than permanent work. Contracts have an end and you're not committing in the long term which allows you to take breaks to take care of your health between contracts. Focus your energy in maintaining a healthy lifestyle (exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, meditate). Do as much as possible to keep your thoughts out there (talking and writing) rather than letting your throughts eat you alive. You're not alone, good luck!

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#38

Post by mayi12345 »

I am sorry to hear your struggle. I have friends who were depressed and I understand suicidal thoughts are in your mind.

Here are how my friends dealt with his depression: they have 1 day a week to do what they want to do alone: surf or run. I honestly do not understand depression, but accordingly to my friends, it is a moment when they do not need to give a fuck to anything, embracing into the nature really helps them to relax and the results are that they have felt less depressed and I can really tell their difference.

One thing I also noticed, is that they also consciously try to be positive. I recently read a few books about our own subconsciousness (e.g. power beyond your subconscious mind, Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior, etc.) and it seems like once you "tried to be", you will start to behave the way your mind told you to. And yes, I also see my friend's attitude is changing towards life.

In terms of jobs, have you considered being a photographer/ocean researcher/forester/bloggers who broadcast how to fight your own struggle (sure you can make some $$ if you get enough subscribers)?

Re: I just lost my fifth job in six years

#40

Post by atrust »

Sex is a great "cure". Do you have a girlfriend? If you don't, then try to find one. Sex with different partners could even work better, but not everyone finds it appealing to them. Forget about work, forget about programming, forget about business. Go enjoy great sex.
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