I just lost my fifth job in six years

I've been struggling with severe clinical depression for at least seven years. I've struggled hard to keep it from impacting my work, but I still keep losing job after job.

It really seems like I can only invest half as much effort as my peers without experiencing severe burnout. I'm not talking about start-up people investing 80+ hour weeks, I'm talking about people doing 9 to 5 in big companies.

Programming is still on my short list of things I love, and I can't think of anything I'd rather try to do for a living. It's not my job that's making me depressed--I still want to shoot myself on the weekends, too. I'm really at a loss as to what to do.

Yes, I'm in therapy and on medication (not that it seems to do a lot--I've lost count of how many medications I've tried). No, I'm not about to attempt suicide, though God knows I'd like to.

Is there any kind of a career that you know of that I might still succeed in? Something where a week here and there of being stuck in I-fucking-want-to-curl-up-and-cry mode isn't a deal breaker?

As it stands, I'm broke enough that I can't afford Silicon Valley any more, and I'm getting ready to pack up and move back in with my parents until I come up with something. I have a couple lifestyle business ideas I want to try, but I don't have terribly high hopes for them. After that, all I can think of is trying some programming jobs outside the tech sector to see if they're less stressful, or abandoning tech altogether and working Taco Bell or something.

Any ideas? Help?

I'm not aware of jobs where you can not work a week -- and keep your job.

That being said, you sound like programming is your only employment avenue. I dunno think waaaaaaay outta the box for things more Social or Outgoing. Eg, maybe look into being a social worker, a county park ranger (like a city park, not necessarily Yosemite ...). These types of jobs are either people/interaction heave (social worker) or very soothing, open environments (like parks).

Being a programmer myself, and not with a team I can understand the stress and individualness of programmer can get 1 down.

As an example my god-mothers daughter used to work for Non-Profits overseas making alot of money. She married someone and now (barely) pays for rent in SF and they both teach Yoga ..... so that's what I mean when I say think outside the box. Life is full of ups and downs, even that 1 week of ickyness doesnt sound like all-time-consuming in the great scheme of a say 1 year ...

Or look for a type of job that isn't year round, eg, oil-rig worker ... or Antartic science research outpost maintenance (eg, you can do IT in remote ass research installations and make bank for 4 months couped up in a hole) ... but then you have the rest of the year to chill.

It's the world -- it's full of options. We need only find them.

You may want to try to build your own online service or product. You'll have accountability to customers which is obviously important but you'll also have more flexibility in your schedule.

My suggestion is to get a per hour freelance job and only take on 20 hrs per week. I found such work on odesk.com though its a crap shoot as you're having to justify value vs $2 an hour foreign workers. Still, the point stands: freelance for fewer hours per week, giving you flexibility during episodes and more personal time to work against your symptoms.

Also, exercise and cold showers can help alleviate your symptoms:

http://www.medicaldaily.com/benefits-cold-showers-7-reasons-...

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/exercise-and-dep...

"I'm not aware of jobs where you can not work a week -- and keep your job."

There are actually jobs like this provided by compassionate caring employers. You just have to keep looking until you find one.

At my most recent position, I was out for a full week for health reasons on 3 separate occasions in a 1-year period with no problems.