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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#61

Post by scarecrowbob »

I'm 37. I keep getting new jobs on new technologies, but I don't think that really helps me see the larger problems. I'm a lot better at doing things than the 20 year olds I know are, even if they have some technical skills I haven't yet mastered.

What I have had luck with is in hanging out with people both older and younger than me. I am in a band with guys in their mid 60s (except the drummer, who is in his 70s... and his old band got together and was able to open up for the flaming lips this last may... how cool is that!!!).

These folks are older than my parents, but you can see how much longer you're going to live when you know that hey, people in their 70s are often still working on the same kinds of things that I work on.

It helped me realize that not only do I still (possibly) have another a whole other lifetime ahead of me to do a bunch of things that I wanted to do, but I can actually make progress even slowly if I work on things a bit every day...

it is a lot easier to spend a bit of time getting to really know a scale on the piano when you realize you still might have another 40 years to enjoy your fluency with it.

If you plan to keep getting better at things throughout your life and know that you may have the time to enjoy using a bunch of skills you acquire slowly, then that last half of a life appears to contain just as many possibilities as the first half.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#63

Post by hluska »

zepolen wrote: post #51
jakejake wrote: post #38

When I was young I told my friends that if they saw me in 20 years married and not playing music full time to go ahead and punch me in the face. I honestly thought that I would feel exactly the same at 40 that I did at 20. At that age I probably would have looked at my older self and thought that I had lost my passion, had sold out, become uncool, etc. It didn't occur to me that I would still remember everything that…

> I honestly thought that I would feel exactly the same at 40 that I did at 20. No you didn't. That's why you told your friends to slap you. So you're now married, live a boring life just like the 40 year olds you saw when you were 20. Justifying it to yourself in every way possible. Despite the fact you still long for that 'fun' past. Grow a pair man. Lying to yourself gets you nowhere no matter how good it feels.

The point is that his life isn't boring - his priorities changed.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#64

Post by Toenex »

bsenftner wrote: post #34
pcmaffey wrote: post #16

40 year olds today were the first generation to grow up with computers. 10 years ago, 40 year olds were "old" in computer parlance. The myth of the 20 year old hacker will go away over time, as more and more people grow up immersed in technology (and thus possess the necessary skillset). I would even go so far as to say that our culture's preoccupation with youth presents an opportunity for disruptive ideas/startups,…

Actually, that would be people in their early 50's. Born in '64, started programming in '77.

This reads like the start of a geek update to the classic Four Yorkshiremen sketch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1by0-nkKOTs)

  "6502?"
  "Aye"
  "You were lucky.  There were 19 of us all crowded round a
   single Z80 processor with a hexadecimal display..."
  
  ...
  
  "Of course when I say keyboard I mean a 8 high voltage bootstrap
   connectors with rusty razorblades for switches.  But it was 
   a keyboard to us..."

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#65

Post by robotkilla »

modoc wrote: post #32

I'm 35 and overall am feeling at the top of my game. I don't envy the 20 years olds or feel lost. I've learned so much, not just technically but around user and enterprise needs, inter-personal skills, and about myself since I was 18-20 that I absolutely feel better suited for success. I've started eating right and working out, which has helped both body and mind, and I've developed task and time management technique…

> my mind might not be 100% as quick as it was when i was 20

care to elaborate? I'm 34 and I keep hearing that my mind is supposed to slow down but it hasn't yet. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day, don't smoke cigs, am not overweight, try to go for a walk for 30 minutes minimum each day, go to sleep by 9ish and am up by 3 or 4am. I also watch very little TV, read regularly and push myself to learn new stuff on a near constant basis (python > node > c# > cg within the space of the last 4 years, along with pixel art, a bit of 3d art, loads of 3d programming + 2d game programming - all in addition to being a web dev contractor).

The change I've seen in my brain as I've gotten older is that I seem to be learning at an accelerated rate. However there are days when my depression or stress gets the best of me and I have to just take half a day or so to "detox" (binge watch netflix, play video games etc).

I wonder if some of the slow down people feel is artificially induced, or even misperceived (it takes me longer to reply to questions, but that's because I'm considering more answers or sifting through more knowledge that I have).

edit: Alzheimers / other brain related issues are absolutely terrifying to me so I'm interested in understanding what people mean by slowing down specifically... also there's a small part of me that worries I've slowed down and just haven't noticed it yet.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#68

Post by mud_dauber »

Being 55 in Austin can be a real downer if you let it. I missed the last two bubbles thanks to being in the semiconductor business.

The good news: I avoided most of the insanity. A nest egg, a paid-off house (no mortgage for 6 years), my wife & dogs, my health, and the ability to occasionally travel for pleasure. We put away ~25% of our earnings every month. I go to the gym 4-5 times per week and sweat my ass off.

I've seen more than my share of layoffs so I spend every bleeping moment learning other technologies. I won't be able to call myself a full-stack dev or a data scientist, but I know enough to get the simple stuff done. It will keep me in coffee and banh mi sandwiches when I tell my employer to stuff it.

As for "work fast and break things" culture: I know that 90% of this is fueled by the media. Don't buy the hype. Just be a good human being and ensure that your salary > costs.

I'm rapidly approaching the day that I won't have to wake up and read YC's bullshit. I'll be on a mountainside with my dogs and my wife. Good effing riddance.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#69

Post by robotkilla »

GnarfGnarf wrote: post #67

I've been writing code since 1965 (yes, fifty years), run my own company, and I can still support my family doing it. Best damn job in the world.

best damn comment too. very encouraging to hear someone has been at it for this long. Only 13 or 14 years for me thus far.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting older?

#70

Post by PeterWhittaker »

Q1: Exercise, eat well, do cool things. This month, I will consult for several high-profile customers, act in a film, judge a BBQ competition, hang out with my offroading buddies, go offroading, visit friends and family, and possibly tinker with my Jeep.

Of course, it ain't all cool: I will also clean up cat shit stains in the basement (older cat having problems), deal with troublesome weeds in the backyard, pay way more than I want to to have the garage slab fixed, and get caught up on my accounting (I've been a bit slack this year).

Qs2&3: False dichotomies, poorly phrased questions. I will be 50 in just over a month. I live my life, not anyone else's.

I don't look at what others are doing and think "cool", I think about what I like doing, what I think is cool, and, provided that I can afford it financially, emotionally, intellectually, and physically, or that the loss/gain in any of those areas is acceptable, I do it.

End of story. You don't deal with getting older. You live. You keep living. You live the life you want to live. The dealing takes care of itself.

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