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Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

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Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#141

Post by a8da6b0c91d »

pavlov wrote: post #35
Zikes wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men face the same value issues as well, that door definitely swings both ways.

Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't want to feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds should not be on Tinder. But I find it strange that the women are apparently such willing participants. If they don't want to get dick pics from the "fuckboys" (as the article calls them), why are they hanging out online with these people?

> feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds

Everybody constantly gets evaluated in two seconds. Mates very nearly are commodities. People claiming otherwise are just uggos, or class-ists.

Once we get video of some interaction + voice + smell, that's really 99% of the mating game. Nobody really gives a shit about anybody's resume. They may claim to when asked, but in reality we're dealing with systems much lower down towards the cerebellum.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#142

Post by kltpzyxm »

steve-howard wrote: post #33
kltpzyxm wrote: post #18

I imagine Twine would suit those who prefer a similar service for a dissimilar crowd. I do wonder what actual experiences are like, since I'm attached and have never encountered any males who use it.

Is that because you've only heard from women, or you just don't know anyone who's used it?

The former.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#143

Post by drcross »

justboxing wrote: post #125
pavlov wrote: post #3

But others lament the way the extreme casualness of sex in the age of Tinder leaves many women feeling de-valued. “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014. If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? It's not like there isn't a million other way…

> If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? Yes she could, or better still, she could get Bumble, which is the female version of Tinder, where the women get to keep guys as options :) http://techcrunch.com/2014/12/02/bumble-is-exactly-like-tind...

>female version of Tinder.

I think you have things very mixed up.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#144

Post by fezz »

pavlov wrote: post #3

But others lament the way the extreme casualness of sex in the age of Tinder leaves many women feeling de-valued. “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014. If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? It's not like there isn't a million other way…

"The next best thing"

You're either someone's option right now until the next better option comes along or you yourself are doing that to someone else.

Tinder amplifies being "next best". You're never "the best" option and the best option for you becomes elusive.

It's the uncanny valley of dating.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#145

Post by ElComradio »

a8da6b0c91d wrote: post #141
pavlov wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't want to feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds should not be on Tinder. But I find it strange that the women are apparently such willing participants. If they don't want to get dick pics from the "fuckboys" (as the article calls them), why are they hanging out online with these people?

> feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds Everybody constantly gets evaluated in two seconds. Mates very nearly are commodities. People claiming otherwise are just uggos, or class-ists. Once we get video of some interaction + voice + smell, that's really 99% of the mating game. Nobody really gives a shit about anybody's resume. They may claim to when asked, but in reality we're dealing with s…

I find it interesting that usually those who claim simple explanations for mating choice are those who are least likely to benefit from this knowledge.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#146

Post by slr555 »

The "dating apocalypse" began not with the internet but the pharmacist. Effective long term contraception and anti-infectives that worked against a wide variety of venereal diseases removed the tangible consequences of promiscuous sex. Those milestones are the real articulation in the history of dating.

In the 60's there were the "happenings" where people metaphorically swiped right and left. In the 70's it was discos, the 80's had pick-up bars. I'm pretty sure Vanity Fair had long features on each of those phenomena as well. Each generation starts to mature and are pretty sure that they are the first to discover sex, which of course their parents never had, and the older generation sees "little precious" out doing their thing and the end of the world is nigh. 20 years on the youngsters are bouncing the kids on their knees and the old ones are pushing up grass and so it goes. As the Thorton Wilder said, "Once in a thousand times it's interesting".

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#147

Post by RachelF »

bradford wrote: post #26
Yhippa wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have been thinking about why Tinder seems like a bad deal for my lady friends. It seems that women used to hold the power in online dating but for whatever reason Tinder has turned into a site that reduces the cost (time investment and biological risk) to sleep with strangers. It seems that as that's picked up the new norm is a "race to the bottom" for women who want traditional relationships.

You say that Tinder reduces the "time investment and biological risk" of [sex]. I'm not a Tinder user, how does it reduce the biological risk? wouldn't the risk of an STD be just as great, if not greater, than the status quo?

More Sex is Safer Sex, according to economists, apparently: http://www.sld.cu/galerias/pdf/sitios/revsalud/more_sex_is_s...

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#148

Post by a8da6b0c91d »

ElComradio wrote: post #145
a8da6b0c91d wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds Everybody constantly gets evaluated in two seconds. Mates very nearly are commodities. People claiming otherwise are just uggos, or class-ists. Once we get video of some interaction + voice + smell, that's really 99% of the mating game. Nobody really gives a shit about anybody's resume. They may claim to when asked, but in reality we're dealing with s…

I find it interesting that usually those who claim simple explanations for mating choice are those who are least likely to benefit from this knowledge.

You're being cryptic and I don't understand. I'll assume you're ugly and dress poorly.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#149

Post by Sven7 »

mycroft-holmes wrote: post #51
pavlov wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't want to feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds should not be on Tinder. But I find it strange that the women are apparently such willing participants. If they don't want to get dick pics from the "fuckboys" (as the article calls them), why are they hanging out online with these people?

People like to complain even when they create their own problems.

This is the kind of mentality that allows Wall Street and Silicon Valley to take advantage of people, who don't know any better what problems they are creating for themselves.

With it "smart" people, don't have to feel responsible for what they get "dumb" people to do.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#150

Post by eropple »

nosuchthing wrote: post #139
deanCommie wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hate this quote. Who's mind is it trying to change? People who already enjoy random frivolous human interaction are already filling their days with it, the same way he is. And people who dread useless chores like this and feel they get more pleasure and enjoyment out of the rest of their life are certainly not going to suddenly try his way. Are there people who are optimizing their workflow while secretly pining fo…

Akin to "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." The quote is saying we're all just here on a rock flying through space. Be a part of your neighborhood/communities. Enjoy life, engage strangers not as soulless husks of flesh but as humans like yourself. Perhaps there are merits to a lifestyle of pure efficiency, but there are valuable interactions lost if you stick to your own little world.

Thank you for this, seriously. I find myself saying, more often over time, that I think the tech world wants to destroy civil society because they don't understand it--posts like this make me feel a little better about us, even if it's seemingly a minority view.
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