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Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

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Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#51

Post by mycroft-holmes »

pavlov wrote: post #35
Zikes wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men face the same value issues as well, that door definitely swings both ways.

Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't want to feel like a commodity product that gets evaluated in two seconds should not be on Tinder. But I find it strange that the women are apparently such willing participants. If they don't want to get dick pics from the "fuckboys" (as the article calls them), why are they hanging out online with these people?

People like to complain even when they create their own problems.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#54

Post by bilbo0s »

static_noise wrote: post #29
jokoon wrote: post #13

The hardest part of making those websites work is attracting women on it, and it's not easy. Men are natural predators. In 2008/9 I used a french website "adopt a guy" (adopte un mec). It was really disruptive because it gave women much more powers. Men can only "charm" women, and women must "adopt" men if they want to talk to them. To be honest I was really surprised, it worked so much better. Women were more confid…

What you are saying is that not every human is created equal?

Heh...

I think it'd be more accurate to say that he feels that not every human is TREATED equally. Especially where sex and intimate relationships are concerned.

When I was younger, a lot of guys wondered how so many really scummy guys could get lots and lots of beautiful women ??? I did too. After many years I've come to realize that... well... sex and intimate relationships just might work differently than polite society believes they do.

There are probably entire industries built on exploiting the chasm between propriety and desire.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#56

Post by agumonkey »

GuiA wrote: post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

As if we're exchanging sparse depth by regular shallow, thinking their quantitative substitutes.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#57

Post by notahacker »

Meanwhile, in the gay community, Tinder's occupies the niche of the somewhat less sex-obsessed alternative to Grindr, the purely gay hookup app that even Tinder's name seems to have been inspired by...

I'm not sure whether the author of the article would be more shocked by the revelation that many Tinder dates actually don't end in sex[1] or the revelation that ten years ago, the same demographic of men was bragging about the ease of chatting to multiple potential one night stands per night in bars

[1]especially ones with men that consider getting a female phone number (with emojis!) to be a major accomplishment

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#58

Post by michaelchisari »

This article makes a big assumption that women only use sex to get to relationships, and men only use relationships to get to sex.

Plenty of women casually date with no interest in serious relationships, for the same reasons that men do: They value their independence, they're focused on their careers, they like to be able to travel or meet new people.

It's antiquated to think that women who go on Tinder are hopelessly pining for love and commitment, and it's equally antiquated to think that there aren't men out there who want those exact things, but can't get them because the women they're dating aren't interested.

In fact, I'll posit that there's a much more positive outlook on this: People nowadays are much more suspicious of moving too fast, of losing parts of your identity and independence for the sake of just being in a relationship. The warning signs are more visible, and we act on them with less hesitation, instead of letting resentment of a bad situation fester into something awful. We break up easier, divorce easier, and refuse to live unhappy lives because the idea of being alone is no longer terrifying.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#59

Post by andrepd »

GuiA wrote: post #16

For the most part, I find that most online social media just degrades human interaction. Twitter encourages short shallow quips, Facebook shows me my friends arguing angrily and pointlessly over random articles, dating apps encourage some of the behaviors described in the article. Heck, even HN encourages a certain kind of attitude that I don't find that great, all in all. I know that it's not black or white, and tha…

>a big factor was reading the biographies of some of my heroes, e.g. Dirac, Feynman, etc., and realizing that they spent a lot of their time working alone in their offices uninterrupted, and communicating with people either in real life over meals, walks, etc. or by postal mail

Of course they did, there was no such thing as internet back in the 30s. Feynman in particular, I'm positive he would have had a big social network presence if he had lived today.

But I think we can all sympathise with that feeling. I think it's not so much a problem with the medium (communicating over the internet is faster and cheaper than meeting people live, and it lets me engage in conversation with you, for instance, who probably live halfway across the world from me, so why not use it?). I think it's a problem of saturation. With our phones and computers ringing dozens (hundreds?) of times a day, with mounds of interesting stuff to read in websites like reddit or HN or your favourite newspaper, with information overwhelming us 24/7, maybe it's not such a bad idea to, once in a while, silence the phone, ignore your 1000s of facebook friends for a while, and just take a walk and read a newspaper in a park.

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