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Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

#91

Post by noduerme »

Ensorceled wrote: post #60
noduerme wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a lot of great diagnosticians who are lousy human beings. If I need an x-ray I'll see that guy. If I'm going under a scalpel I'd rather have a kid who gives a shit and still values life. The kid's probably more arrogant than the old man, too. But he's got to earn it.

Some of the best surgeons, the ones with the best patient outcomes, are high functioning sociopaths. But that is orthogonal to my point, a lot of doctors, lawyers, etc. are not any more arrogant than the average person; they just get labelled that way because people don't like being told they are wrong or getting bad news.

I'm not sure those people are wrong to think they're dealing with arrogance. There are lots of ways of delivering bad news. And - unlike in medicine - for every lawyer who delivers bad news, there's another one delivering good news. Coming from a family of lawyers, and growing up knowing dozens of them, I think I've yet to meet one who wasn't extremely arrogant, whatever kind of news they were delivering. And let's not even mention how they order sushi.

Re: Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

#93

Post by tsol »

DrNuke wrote: post #40

Walk, walk, walk. Whenever something goes to your head, just go out for a 30 minutes stroll and let your body/mind relax. It will not solve any of your problems, but improve your attitude for sure, which is a step in the right direction.

It amazing what a 20 minute walk can do. I feel energized and relaxed the rest of the day. It's an amazing return on what's actually a very small time investment.

I know 98% of people aren't willing to try this-- but add in a cold shower afterwards and I become impervious to stress. And I'm usually a high anxiety person(have been my whole life). It's really a drastic, and honestly impressive, difference that it makes. This would almost definitely solve OP's problem, as it would for many people, the only problem is it's unpleasant enough that most are afraid to even try

Re: Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

#94

Post by tsol »

npwr wrote: post #11

Here's what works for me : - An SSRI treatment, because generalized anxiety doesn't usually go away on its own. - Heavy schedule compartimentalization. - At least a moderate level of daily physical activity. - 9 hours of sleep. - Minimize caffeine & alcohol intake.

>- An SSRI treatment, because generalized anxiety doesn't usually go away on its own.

I want to add to this a very honest observation:

For many people this is the best path. I see a lot of people often saying they are unnecessary, that natural is best or that they create more problems. But I've realized, for me at least, they are totally necessary. I went off them for about 8 years, thinking natural really is best. All I have to show for it is a lot of white hair from excessive stress. I recently decided to try them again and man for the first time in years I just feel normal. No longer is anxiety the dominating emotion in my head. It's certainly still there-- but I can operate like those around me. I don't get over stressed as easily, and conversations come naturally to me. YMMV but it's worth a shot for some

Re: Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

#95

Post by CRConrad »

dotancohen wrote: post #51
noduerme wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

After looking you up, I wonder how much of this particular attitude is related to being Jewish. I sometimes feel like I'm refracting my family's misfortune in the Holocaust by making myself either unavoidably useful and friendly, or else unassailably logical. Maybe I tip too well.

Possibly. I live amongst people who would slaughter me before knowing me, and in the vast majority of cases I make friends of them. I'm careful of course, but I feel that it is a risk that is important to take. Perhaps the desire to spread peace is a cultural trait that we don't even realize. In fact our everyday greeting is literally "peace".

Heh... Aleikum salaam!

If you see what I mean.

Re: Ask HN: How do you manage or avoid meltdowns?

#96

Post by mdip »

clarge1120 wrote: post #82
mdip wrote: post #61

> No psychotherapy please. I won't go near their arrogance. I felt this way a while back. I realize, now, that it was my arrogance that was the problem with that situation -- coupled with a small number of bad experiences with psychologists[0]. Finding one that works for you is difficult, and it took me quite some time, but the value of having a professional "disinterested third-party" decode the workings of your min…

Before I found a great car mechanic, I took my car to a couple of unethical and incompetent shops that would do things like spray-paint an old part and charge the customer for a replacement. I didn't trust auto mechanics for years. I suppose psychotherapy is a skill that can be done well or done poorly. If done poorly it could cause great damage to people personally. Same could be said for any discipline that deals w…

Completely agree!

And I had to pipe in to say I've had similar problems with mechanics -- though not as brazen as spray painting old parts, but frequent cases of being over-charged for things that weren't fixed, not honoring warranties for things that weren't fixed, and generally having a car that ... wasn't fixed.

Like my psychotherapist, I found an amazing car mechanic. He's made a mistake or two over the years, but every single time it happened, he resolved it beyond my satisfaction. Honestly, kind of worried about how old the guy is getting who owns the shop and hoping he leaves it to someone with the same high ethical standards.

Most of my bad experiences with therapists were simply people that couldn't relate to my circumstances in a manner that they could provide advice/actions that I could use rather than people doing actual harm, but I could see that as a possibility if I had stayed for too long.

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