Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

I don't feel that at all.

I've always felt there was a lot to know. I don't think I ever felt the "ego on the cusp of knowing everything" when I was younger, because I knew I hadn't studied most fields and that there was much more I didn't know about. But I did feel like I was getting that way within a few narrow technical fields.

But as I get older the awareness that there's so much still to see, learn and do in just about every area, including those where I'd become something of an expert, just grows and grows, and it is depressing.

As time passes I feel more and more the limited bandwidth of my capabilities, and that nothing I can do begins to scratch the surface of what there is. Some people seem to find a joy in learning. I enjoy it, indeed I can't help it, but I feel so small and my future life feels so short, it gets me down.

Most things I take an interest in, it feels like it will take 300 years to get to grips with them. If anything, I feel an almighty rush to see what tiny part of what there is I can see, be around, and even better, understand and work with, while it's still possible.

So much to see, so little time.

Primarily I was disillusioned with my college education, but that feeling spread to encompass many areas of my life. Everything seemed arbitrary and pointless -- and reading the first few chapters it really was comforting to hear someone else from a completely different time saying the same things. It was like -- I'm not alone here. Many people seemed to feel this way with Bojack Horseman as well... Though I find Ecclesiastes much more satisfying at the end.

In fact, knowingly or not, many people are echoing the same sentiments here: everything is the same, nothing is new, history repeats itself -- things are bent, and there's no straightening it.

But where the rubber meets the road is this: all the suggestions people told me didn't seem to be of any help. "Just do a hobby, exercise, or travel!" is a hollow suggestion when you think everything is meaningless, "a chasing after the wind."

The author talks about the futility of work, wisdom, pleasure, relationships, even gardening! But then he even talks about miscarriage of justice, and government corruption. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" It's like he's tugging on this weed on human existence, and the more he pulls, the deeper the roots of the problem go.

I'll leave with just two verses that stick out to me:

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies— so the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time. Ecclesiastes 7:2‭-‬4 NLT

Especially as a young man, that impacted me. Much of life seems to be an effort to avoid suffering -- to the extent that suicide is seen as a viable option. But I look at Joni Eareckson Tada, and the impact her life has had on so many people, in spite of her terrible suffering.

But the jewel on top is the final chapter. It's a direct rebuttal to nihilism and absurdism. There is a meaning and purpose in life to be found in your creator. This feeling of meaninglessness was hole that only Jesus could fill. Once he was there, I found the meaningless imbued with meaning and purpose.

This is my Twitter handle as well, feel free to reach out if you'd like to chat!

It’s clear that you are becoming unhappy. At 80, I’m pretty happy and have been getting more so.

Like most people here, I’d recommend taking care of yourself physically. And go for long walks in the woods and parks. Appreciate what an amazing place this universe is!

I could make a number of suggestions beyond that, but I think the best one would be to take up a study of Zen, which is largely about escaping dissatisfaction.

Joko Beck’s books are a good entry.