Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 138 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#61

Post by yef »

I had a rough 2020-2022 and one thing that made a difference was starting a personal writing habit with two main components:

1. Daily writing which summarizes the day and gets off my chest any minor things that are bothering me.

2. Deep dive writing focused on a particular issue that I struggled with before and is inexplicably still on my mind. (Implying that I haven't fully processed the issue)

I also started collecting stories of people who confronted difficult periods in their life. It was helpful to know that I wasn't alone and also to see that others faced much more difficult challenges than I have. I actually started a newsletter about it, shameless plug: https://hardmode.substack.com/

I'm not sure if it's mental health, but in support of mental health is proper sleep with Huberman's favorite tip: get outside early in the morning and in the evening. Getting fresh air and light in the morning just feels great.

One last key thing was paying attention to my limits. It sounds terrible but I found that I went nuts when I was spending more than x hours with my son each day (on average). So the solution was to find babysitting help so I could stay at x hours per day or less. I felt guilty because I thought x was low, but after asking a few close friends they understood and actually thought my tolerance was pretty high. So also staying anchored in the real world rather than trying to meet an imaginary expectation that only I have.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#62

Post by cwbrandsma »

Things that help:

1. Take a 40 minute walk every day. 2. Workout a couple days a week. 3. Enjoy a hobby you can do every week (for me: woodworking, gaming, reading, music, cooking) 4. Do an act of service. (I help run a user group and present). 5. Sleep well.

Things that don’t help

1. Social media 2. My insomnia. 3. Being so mentally exhausted I don’t want to work out.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#64

Post by pmarreck »

abyssin wrote: post #43
pmarreck wrote: post #25

I'm currently struggling with parenting an 18 month old child as an introvert. As a 50 year old first-time parent who had the benefit of lots of quiet alone time for literally decades, and possibly got a bit too used to it. :/ My sanity is eroding and I hit a wall every day. I also found that I don't have time anymore to keep up with technological developments like I used to, which is unfortunately eroding my value a…

My partner and I recently had our second child. The biggest difference we noticed is related to our better acceptance of that child’s needs. With the first one, we always tried to look for signs of autonomy, much too early. Everything is more peaceful when we accept to let go. I’m not fixing things in the house. Every thing I give up is a liberation. Being a father more or less makes up for the self image forced and…

Yes, I already am letting go of a lot (I can't, for example, remember the last time I got my car washed), but my partner continues to take on time-ful or effort-ful things that I consider "expendably unnecessary" (such as at least half of the cleaning/sanitizing she does- despite me emphasizing that the Hygiene Hypothesis is probably real) and is stressing both of us out anyway. My office is a mess that has needed cleaning for over a year. Etc.

We probably won't be having (or able to have) a second child (not to mention that time and energy for the basic biological prerequisites here are non-existent, I have no friggin idea how other parents have a second so soon after the first) but we are probably making the mistake(s) you mentioned about your first one.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#65

Post by voisin »

marginalia_nu wrote: post #57

Talking to a therapist can be very helpful in my experience. May need to shop around, since your success will depend on finding the right therapist, but it can be incredibly worth it. Beyond that, keeping your body healthy through eating well and exercising regularly does wonders.

> May need to shop around

This is the one piece of friction that has prevented me from using a therapist. From people I know who use therapists, it seems like it takes months before they form a judgement of whether the therapy is having an impact or not, and by then they've spent thousands of dollars and dozens of hours. How do you possibly know based on an initial meeting when shopping around?

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#66

Post by lcuff »

Not mentioned so far: Paying attention to dreams recalled from sleep. In order to remember them, a journal and pen by the bedside is necessary, as the dreams get forgotten within minutes.

A simple DIY technique for working with dreams is to take different images in a dream and write about the image in the form "I am , I . For example if I dream of an open window "I am an open window". I allow things from the outside to affect me. When it's stormy outside, I need to close. I am a window, people can see into me, whether I like it or not." (Keep going for multiple iterations.) There is a 'tingle test', where the meaning of the dream, when spoken or written, produces some kind of wordless aha. Most dreams have multiple layers of meaning, so don't stop the first time you get a tingle.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#67

Post by sillysaurusx »

FWIW, I wrote up some of my experiences here: https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150?cxt...

The key thing was for me to get my butt into a doctor's office. Prozac turned my life around.

In hindsight I got extremely lucky -- I've heard many horror stories about other drugs. But it's hard to overstate how much of an impact it had, which made me question the effectiveness of everything I'd tried to that point.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#68

Post by SunlightEdge »

What helps me is: 1. I do at least one press-up a day everyday in the morning. I normally try and do 3 sets of alternate press-ups and squats, followed by 1 minute of plank. This routine is very do-able / easy, but has led to me feeling stronger.

2. I used to do improvisation 2-3 times a week, now I have switched to Bachata/Salsa 2-3 times a week. Socialising with others while moving gives so much to you.

3. I recognise 'prison' thinking - when I'm persecuting myself I realise this and do my best to stop it and send out love to what's on my mind. Forgiveness is the best cure for anger/revenge.

4. I rarely if ever meditate/chant - but once in a while I do this and I feel good about it. Its not for me as my main thing (see point 2 and 3), but I think it can have benefits.

5. Outside of work, I have a passion project

6. I am lucky to have a loving family and girlfriend

7. I find I make nearly all the effort with my "friends". But I only see them once in a while, and actually I don't mind it. And we have a good time when we meet up.

8. I do cut out of my life people who don't respect me as a person / are mean spirited. I have no time for jerks. Good people are always welcome. Seriously I have told some of my friends who invite me to events that I won't go, if a certain person is going as I find them extremely rude and I don't want to put up with their obnoxious behaviour (plenty of people have complained about him - he's extremely snarky and likes to put others down). I actually think its healthy to set boundaries on what I will put up with.

9. I sometimes go off to an art gallery/cinema by myself - life is a journey

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#69

Post by meowzero »

The usual:

- Meditation

- Exercise

- Good sleep

- Good diet

- Therapy (when needed).

IMO, I consider meditation the most important. I spend the most amount of my waking time doing meditation. My self introspection is getting better since I'm understanding "myself" more as insight increases. My awareness of my anxieties is more apparent as I practice more. Of course, I do have blind spots, and I realize meditation is not the panacea. But I feel it's helped me the most in the last 5 years.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

#70

Post by user-extended »

ohwellhere wrote: post #50
user-extended wrote: post #39

My mental health problems are chronic, can get worse rapidly, and so far, nothing but escapism seems to fill me up in life, especially when I compare my life with that of others at my own age. I have given up on hope many times over, today I saw a self-text from 5 years ago of me questioning if I would ever make it, and so far, I have not. I have seen a psychologist for many years, a psychiatrist, and have asked peop…

Some people have it much worse than others, and it sounds like you have it bad. You're still a person and worthy of love and capable of change. There's no magic bullet, but you can't predict the future. Keep working at it, brother.

Yes, I keep trying everyday, as I have no alternative. I've seen things go south so many times so far in life with myself to blame that I have no faith in faith or good luck anymore. As someone once told me "I've seen Prison inmates less miserable than you". I wish you the best though!
Post reply on HN