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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#501

Post by mixmastamyk »

kangax wrote: post #375
gnulinux wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But it just seems impossible to practice. I'm 21 years old and at this age everyone has a lot of expectations about their partners but I know that I cannot fulfill those expectations, exactly because of what you said (because I never practiced those muscles). It just feels very strongly like if I ever ask a girl out I'll just make a dick out of myself. Ok, see I'm NOT shy, if I see you in a conference, I'l talk to yo…

As mixmastamyk said, it's exactly the same as the gym (I work out ~5 days a week too and I started from being the least athletic person in school/college). I hear people say — I'm already 30 and starting to exercise is too late, or that they're intimidated by other people at the gym, or that they don't know where to start. Having gone through a similar experience as yours, I gotta say you just have to start. Don't ov…

Yep, there’s a startup adage about “failing faster,” same idea.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#502

Post by whamlastxmas »

androidgirl wrote: post #22

Depression. I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel really isolated, my best friend passed two years ago which didn't make anything better. Isolation makes depression into a feedback loop, and it feels like you keep sinking deeper and deeper.

I used to have a lot of social anxiety. For me the cure was forcing myself to go out. I started with really geeky meetups where I didn't find anyone intimidating and we all shared common interests. It was really hard, I felt like I had so many failures, I had anxiety every single time I went, I had times when I felt I was improving then times when I felt I was reverting backwards.

Accept that there will be failures, but know that you're making progress because of those failures. Force yourself out and get social exposure. It will eventually almost entirely fade away.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#504

Post by vumgl »

nell wrote: post #317
ChuckMcM wrote: post #240

I have a very wide area of interests, and doing things takes time. But while I'm doing thing 'A', I think about the fact that I'm making no progress on 'B', 'C', ... 'n' and it distracts me both from thinking as deeply as I need to on thing 'A' and the enjoyment I get from getting something done. So I struggle with letting go of the desire to get everything done that I can imagine would be fun and interesting to do.

I have the same problem and my diagnosis is that is a symptom of not having a deep bond with any of those interests. I've deceived myself that the ease of discovery will automatically transfer to mastery. I realized in a world of abundant and instant knowledge, I've been applying the laws of scarcity: "I won't be able to do Y and Z if I spend too much on X". Hence the anxiety to get to the Y when doing X. But it's no…

+1 I find that a good rule to follow is to avoid "interesting" subject/articles/posts. If it is not also deep, insightful and genuinely educational, avoid spending time on "interesting".

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#505

Post by ccajas »

sushisource wrote: post #231
nbardy wrote: post #226

Interviewing. I'm good at my good. My portfolio is at least decent, and I get a lot of responses on my resume, but I consistently can't close the deal. I also have a very hard time bettering myself with the lack of feedback. I've gotten better at all the stuff you can read about online and often made it to the final round, but I can't make it to an offer.

IMO, software interviewing is pretty heavily broken. I struggled with this and I decided (rightly or wrongly) that the problem wasn't me, it really was the process. Whiteboard coding is nonsense for any other purpose than weeding out the truly incompetent. Past that point, it's a crapshoot. I think homework / portfolio are the most reasonable evaluative tools, but there are some legitimate downsides there around the…

To be honest I am surprised of the tolerance levels between quality of work and quality of the interviewing.

In some engineering fields, I'd expect that such inconsistency in hiring practices would result in hiring someone that causes a huge accident.

Dark version: software interviewing would not be this broken if most bugs or mistakes would directly result in a person's serious injury or death.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#506

Post by ccajas »

qwerty456127 wrote: post #310
sushisource wrote: post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

IMO, software interviewing is pretty heavily broken. I struggled with this and I decided (rightly or wrongly) that the problem wasn't me, it really was the process. Whiteboard coding is nonsense for any other purpose than weeding out the truly incompetent. Past that point, it's a crapshoot. I think homework / portfolio are the most reasonable evaluative tools, but there are some legitimate downsides there around the…

> Whiteboard coding is nonsense Absolutely. Asking a person to produce correct code with just a whiteboard/pen/notepad is like asking a surgeon to do with just a kitchen knife. An intelligent code-completing&checking IDE, a debugger and the Internet should be considered parts of a developer's body nowadays, restricting usage of these makes just as much sense as restricting usage of glasses for reading or requiring pe…

The point of whiteboard interviews are supposedly to understand a person's thought process when they're solving a problem. They're supposed to explain step by step so the interviewer can pick their brain a little.

If an interviewer scolds you for writing whiteboard code that will cause a compiler syntax error, red flag, time to bail out. This is now how they are supposed to be done.

Properly done I might go against the grain saying I prefer whiteboarding tests over take-home tests. With whiteboarding, both parties are at least with equal time investment and a higher level of transparency. And once the interview is done, it is done. No thinking about how to schedule your next few days around finishing unpaid work for a company that you may have a chance with.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#507

Post by Shanedora »

dabockster wrote: post #289

I just got diagnosed with ADHD combined type. Looking back, my entire life was a total mess before starting treatment. Little to no concentration abilities make you lose focus on your surroundings so much that it can affect your ability to eat and sleep on a consistent basis (not to mention employability). You sort of just sit there mentally screaming at your body to get up and move. Or you mentally scream at your bo…

I was diagnosed with that when I was younger. I am 31 and still find myself suffering from it. One has to eventually discipline their daily habbits to overcome it and that takes time, patience and effort.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#508

Post by headcanon »

citrablue wrote: post #265
headcanon wrote: post #209

I'd say I struggle with a few things, but I'll pick one. I overcomplicate and overthink things. If I get into something, like a new hobby, I go in to "engineer mode" and think about all the complexities of what I'm trying to do, and end up going nowhere. Or other times, I will purchase a slew of materials I don't initally need because "I'll need them later" and end up getting bored with the hobby before they ever get…

I can empathize with this. Add in the fact that the older I get, the more impressive my project needs to be in order to impress myself. It's a form of self-sabotage, but by realizing that I don't have to build something great in 1 day, it helps. What are your strategies to cope with this?

That seems like a symptom of comparing yourself with some ultimate, unrealistic version of what you think you should be.

Kind of like learning guitar in your 30's and getting discouraged when you see talented 16-year-olds on youtube getting famous.

I cope with that by 1) realizing that everyone's journey is different, and 2) realizing that even though I'm not a famous artist or whatever, I have a unique background that can bring value to people in the way I'm comfortable with.

Also as you get older you recognize what's really valuable in life (friends, happiness, etc.), and the things you thought were important when you were younger (getting rich/famous) are actually really shallow.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#509

Post by badpun »

madeuptempacct wrote: post #301
ChuckMcM wrote: post #294

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Although some contradiction with the 7 habits of successful people (work on important but not urgent things). That said, I don't disagree with Buffett, but I do struggle with it :-)

It's complicated - if I hyper-focus and never succeed, I will just end up an extremely, extremely boring person. So there are definitely cons to that strategy.

Even if you succeed, then you'll just end up an extremely, extremely boring person that also happens to be successful...

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#510

Post by fardo »

nostrademons wrote: post #422
ALittleLight wrote: post #341

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm no Warren Buffet, so I hesitate to disagree, but these kinds of stories always make me think of a parable about weight lifting. You go to a gym to learn to lift weights. You see a big strong guy and ask him to teach you. He must know how to lift weights and get big and strong, right? He's done it after all. Sure enough, the big guy knows just what to do. He's got all sorts of advice, he disagrees with conventiona…

"Where Buffet lets lower priority tasks slide or delegates them they still get done by his employees. If you do it then your house is going unmaintained or a relationship is getting neglected etc." Perhaps that's the lesson. I'm reminded of the startup aphorism "You don't have to be good if you're great." It's really a statement about market dynamics. If you are "great" (the monopoly provider of a service, asset, or…

>And yes, that means that your house is going unmaintained and your relationships are getting neglected. So what?

Your relationships and the state of the environment you maintain for yourself are important.

Together, they likely have more impact on your long term happiness and physical and mental health than any kind of ability “to take advantage of these market dynamics”.

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