I think old-school chat rooms might be a solution to this.
Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
401–410 of 1001 posts
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#402Earlier quoted context omitted.
this is one reason, while i personally work from home, i actually lament that many 20-somethings will never be in an office i'm nearing 40, have a wife and kid, house in the mountains, etc... but, damn, those office days were foundational to the person I am today
While this is true, it's worth mentioning that a regular coffee machine small talk in the office is not building any relationships. At least that's how I experience it. It can start one, but won't automatically make one. I can go for a coffee and routinely get dragged into 30 min conversation about politics, or cars, or weather, or any other subject I literally don't care about. All the good relationships begin with…
Do you put any effort in steering the discussion towards something you care about?
A discussion that started about the newest model of some car, ended up with that person fixing my boat's outboard motor.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#403When I go to tech meetups, I often see a great deal of people sitting alone using their phones, because interacting with people you don't know is scary.
Try to resist! Yeah it's scary but most tech-heads are as nerdy/goofy as you and are interested in all the details of whatever you hacking on.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#404Personally I’m living with a partner (only 50% of the time for now), have only two social activities per month outside work in average and some small talk at work. I don’t need more and have no intention to volunteer, join church or anything like that just for the social aspect. I guess the big problem is the (growing?) minority having close to no social experiences.
A young woman explained to me the other week what you're doing now. She said it's become a meme called Bean Soup. I'm grateful for all the friends I've made since I starting doing my signs. Genuinely fulfilling friendships, for the first time in my life.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#405Loneliness epidemic started 30+ years ago. There were books written in the 90s about it(bowling alone). Nothing modern can be blamed on it. If anything, social media is helping the crisis; not causing. The 'fixes' has been established for just as long. My nearby 'community centre' was built in 1987. Has this been successful at all? Not in the least bit. The reality of what is causing this hasnt changed. Without fixin…
LLMs are always going to output the median answer you would find on the web. That's why they are almost always mediocre in their response.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#406Some ideas:
- Get rid of AI chat bots, limit social media use to federated platforms, get out more.
- Encourage cities to build spaces for people rather than cars where folks can meet up without the pressure to buy things and leave. Spaces for walking and hanging out.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#407Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common. A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a ra…
But that's like befriending others through the kids. Those usually are very shallow relationships. If they suddenly stop seeing you they wouldn't even check if you are OK or what happened. I guess it's better than nothing but that's not for me.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#408I think this is fine? I’m pretty quiet in my real life but I do talk about here.
I don't view this as socialising. It is mostly a battle of narratives.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#409Earlier quoted context omitted.
I see this as quite a problem in the US. The default place a lonely person has to go is usually a church - where you can expect a modicum, possibly even a seeming profusion, of welcome. This is their hook. They provide automatic acceptance - of sorts. This is also how the right wing fascist regime convinced people to let Trump take over the country - propaganda through the churches. The only other options people hear…
> where you can expect a modicum, possibly even a seeming profusion, of welcome. This is their hook. Do you think that, possibly, they're really just happy to see you?
Sure, the way cult members are happy to greet new recruits. It's very insincere. If you have a real issue and you want to talk to someone - you are very likely to hear something like: "Well, pray to Jesus dear, only he can help you." In other words, if you actually need any support - go home and pray about it - don't expect real connection with people. The only connection comes through the imaginary friends they encourage you to divert all your attention and problems to...
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#410Go to church. Data from various studies, including those from academic institutions and public health organisations, supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community. 1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/ 2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-flourishing/20... 3. https://hrbopenresearch.org/ar…
Sounds good, but I would have a hard time pretending to take it seriously. I wouldn’t want to lie to them.
You don't have to be a believer to go to church. Have an open mind, don't belittle it to the people there just like you wouldn't belittle someone's interior decorating who invited you into their home, and don't hog all of the potato salad at the post-service lunch, and you'll be okay.