Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?

#401

Post by yters » Wed, Feb 12, 2020, 1:30 PM UTC

btilly wrote: post #398

yters wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Looks like the conflict thesis and Draper's work have been discredited. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_thesis

So you ignore all the things that you were clearly wrong on to pick a particular item you could criticize for. That doesn't sound exactly fair. Furthermore your criticism is itself weak. You drew a parallel between what I said and a discredited version of the history. Well fine. But that discredited version of the history was not at all what I was saying. What I was saying is that Christianity can't validly claim cre…

To support your view your cite Draper's book, which proposes the conflict view of science and religion. Both Draper's book and the conflict view are discredited.

I, on the other hand, refer to Stark's work, which is state of the art as far as I know.

Most of modern science was founded by religious people. This seems very odd if there is an intrinsic conflict between religion and science.

To avoid a lot of back and forth, what credible modern scholar can you cite to back up your point of view?

Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?

#402

Post by Faark » Wed, Feb 12, 2020, 2:11 PM UTC

sounds wrote: post #400

climb_stealth wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I've heard a story where a therapist got upset with their client because the client said, during a therapy session, they were going to find someone else. That would be a clear sign of a bad therapist. There very much has to be room to discuss seeing someone else, and whether the therapy relationship is working.

Yes, obviously, that was my point. But an additional point is worth making, the kind of thing that a good therapist would help you see. > I don't need to tell my therapist if they're fired. I just walk away. I am stating that as clearly as I can there. If my therapist starts acting in a way that makes me uncomfortable, no more talk. No need to talk. I don't need my therapist's permission to walk away. I just. walk. a…

> I just. walk. away.

Though you might want to get in contact with your insurance if they are paying for it, since having it on your record as aborted for no reason could cause issues when convincing them to pay the next one.

Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?

#403

Post by BrandoElFollito » Fri, Feb 14, 2020, 8:07 AM UTC

climb_stealth wrote: post #221

gonehome wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People say this a lot, but it never seems very actionable. How do you do find someone good that you trust? How do you find someone worth the time? The couple of times I've tried to find someone you end up making a lot of unreturned phone calls. Maybe I have an unfairly negative impression of therapists - I both think that it's incredibly valuable to introspect and have someone smart and thoughtful to work things out…

> How do you do find someone good that you trust? How do you find someone worth the time? In my experience the best way to find someone is through recommendations. Find someone with a good therapist, and contact the therapist for recommendations. They usually know other people in the field that work with a similar approach. I feel CBT only works with simple issues. For trauma and deep running issues I would suggest f…

Unrelated question : do you Habs this out of pocket system applied to all medical fields? Do you need to co-pay for, say, a general practitioner?

I am asking because here in France it is either a medical field (reimbursed, an example would be a psychiatrist) or not (a psychologist for instance)

Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?

#404

Post by Psyladine » Wed, Feb 19, 2020, 2:12 PM UTC

gonehome wrote: post #117

ggambetta wrote: post #15

Seeing a therapist might be infinitely better than reading a book, and not just for narcissism. We're all broken in our own wonderful and unique ways. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now, and the positive impact this has had in my life and on my general self-awareness can't be overstated. As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational mi…

People say this a lot, but it never seems very actionable. How do you do find someone good that you trust? How do you find someone worth the time? The couple of times I've tried to find someone you end up making a lot of unreturned phone calls. Maybe I have an unfairly negative impression of therapists - I both think that it's incredibly valuable to introspect and have someone smart and thoughtful to work things out…

I go by recommendations, but I'm initially looking for chemistry - does this person jump to conclusions based on initial statements, is there an urgency in their tone (as in, getting to it rather than getting to know you), and most importantly, being able to verbalize their process and walk you through their methods. It shouldn't be smoke & mirrors or duplicitous, like asking you open ended questions and letting you blow off steam for 45 minutes, it should be a 'conversation' with them drawing you back to the central issues you identified & they've diagnosed.

Like all relationships, it's predicated on trust, and that means finding the right professional. There are shops that make their retirement letting people talk about themselves for an hour once a week, and there are others genuinely engaged in the art of helping people heal themselves.