How old are you? Pretty much everyone's a narcissist until they hit their late 20's/30's, so nothing to worry about if you're younger
Otherwise, just let your experiences be the lessons
Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
41–50 of 404 posts
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#42For book suggestions I would suggest the old classic: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Talks about active listening, and remembering things about others. As for generally not being as narcissistic, I think you’re already on the right track. 90% of being aware of other people, is being aware that you’re sucking up the airtime. Conversations are dances, both parties need to be engaged
This is a great recommendation, but if a person with narcissism were to pick up this book, they could easily turn into one of those slightly creepy & very transparent "overly nice guys". It's a great start, but if overdone, you can push people away even more.
M'narcissist. tips fedora
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#43Seeing a therapist might be infinitely better than reading a book, and not just for narcissism. We're all broken in our own wonderful and unique ways. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now, and the positive impact this has had in my life and on my general self-awareness can't be overstated. As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational mi…
> As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational minds. So we tend to think that we can solve any problem in life with this tool. thinking that therapy is somehow beneath us is pure hubris. To add to this: we also tend to think we can correctly assess any problem without external help, but especially when it comes to the "self" this fails. It's k…
That had been my excuse for ignoring my own problems for years so I’d add:
If you think you’re insane but also thinking it could be self-mis-diagnosis, no, you are not sane.
There is no such inherent contradiction in an ability for a logical system to detect its own anomaly were you one.
If it had been a false positive, the fact that a false positive is occurring itself is an anomaly, and an issue.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#44"All the books on Amazon are about other people, I want to read a book about me."
That is not at all how you phrased it but in spirit of self-awareness and improvement I reworded it as crass as possible to make the following point- maybe books focused on people dealing with narcissistic people is a great place to start.
*I have zero qualifications in mental health/psychology.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#45This question seems like a trap... asking people who have overcome narcissism to talk about how much better they are now. Wouldn't that be narcissistic? With that said, I'll agree that talking to a mental health professional might be the best thing, if you can afford it. Autistic spectrum disorder, for example, sometimes looks like narcissism... if you can't sense other's emotional states, it makes listening to them…
Overcoming narcissism doesn't mean never talking about oneself. Thinking it does may be a sign of black and white thinking.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#46Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#47Seeing a therapist might be infinitely better than reading a book, and not just for narcissism. We're all broken in our own wonderful and unique ways. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now, and the positive impact this has had in my life and on my general self-awareness can't be overstated. As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational mi…
What are examples of problems you couldn't solve with your mind?
Broken heart
Broken leg
Blindness
Losing a child
Having a low (or too high) IQ
Having severe mental disorder(s)Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#48youtube eckhart tolle
The Power of Now book by Eckhart Tolle was a real mindset shift for me that I will always be thankful for. The essence being that we live with ourselves, our egoic mind. When you practice the discipline of not letting your egoic mind take control, it gives space for seeing yourself and others with a different mind.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#49Keep a journal, create a feedback loop that works for you (meditation, running, whatever - try a few and keep what produces good output) and keep aiming to conquer your ego.
"Ego is the enemy"
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#50Seeing a therapist might be infinitely better than reading a book, and not just for narcissism. We're all broken in our own wonderful and unique ways. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now, and the positive impact this has had in my life and on my general self-awareness can't be overstated. As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational mi…
100% agree about seeing a therapist. I also resisted for years because I thought it was a waste of time and money. Now that I see one once a week I've come to realize how useful it can be to have a person you can go to who is paid to be laser focused on your mental well being for an hour at a time. One thing mine has encouraged me to do is journal. It helps air out the negative thought patterns that infect my behavior and also serves as a good way to synthesize ideas. I set aside 10-15 minutes at lunch to write in a moleskine notebook.
My problems are more related to anxiety and depression, but the same concepts apply. I also think that you get out of therapy what you put in. It sounds like you are in a good frame of mind because you want to improve yourself. That's probably the best attitude you could take going into therapy.