All the comments here are amazing, but one extra thing to add is if you have a good manager, work with that person to lighten your load. Having less to worry about at work will go a long ways into making sure you are able to recover more quickly.
Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
41–50 of 172 posts
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#42I went thru that, without external support over 10 years ago -- basically my ability to concentrate and enjoy work vanished... It took me a year to 'recover' -- I don't think I was ever 100% of what I was before TBH, but it's because it helped me realise that there isn't JUST work that matters. I am a lot more pragmatic about work these days, and I no longer 'live to work' as I did before. I don't know if any of thes…
I would specifically advise against developing a tech related hobby. In my experience, it just accelerates burn out. Something that forces you to be outside/unplugged is ideal imo.
Well, what's "tech" in my case, photography provided a hell of lot of things my nerdy side found interesting, optics formulas, sensors, films, whatever -- that's still 'tech'. You can't hide from tech for very long. Just curtain it carefully.
Picking up an arduino and 'waste' a couple of days making LED blink can be fantastically relaxing too.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#43I've been in a similar situation, and would recommend to take some time off and find a good therapist if that's possible for you.
In the Netherlands it's common to take sick leave and get paid 75% if you're sick for more than 2 months. Insurance covers the sick leave for your employer. I've been sitting at home for over a year now, working on my mental health, and just took on a new job. I can not recommend a burnout to anyone, for some outsiders it seems like I had a year-long vacation. This was definitely not the case, I hated it. It has been very healthy though in retrospect. Before my burnout I hated myself and felt like a complete failure, I thought everything was my fault.
I can highly recommend therapy as well, I've been suffering from depression for over 10 years, and finally sought out help last summer. It's trial and error, but for the first time it feels like I regained some control over my thoughts/life, and make sense of my behaviour.
In the period towards my total burnout (panic attacks/fatigue/depression), I was very irritable, emotionally unstable, drank too much, started taking drugs to handle the stress of working 50-70hrs a week and dealing with my life and deteriorating relationship with a suicidal and junkie boyfriend, amongst other things.
Taking time off, focussing on myself completely, breaking up with my boyfriend, cooking, walking and reading helped a lot. Doing small positive things. I cook for my ex now once a week, I like to see still him and just want to let him know I care about him, also it doesn't take that much energy and benefits us both.
Start saying no to people, define your boundaries, all that matters is you! Listen to your body. All the best!
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#44I've been writing a series called Notes to a Young Software Engineer, and handling burnout was one of my first posts.
Most importantly, see a licensed medical professional. Burnout is often confused for other health issues, and you may not be dealing with burnout, but rather a larger health issue (e.g., PTSD).
If it is truly burnout, some that work for me are treating my body well, cultivating human relationships, and addressing root causes at work.
https://www.nemil.com/on-software-engineering/beware-burnout...
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#45Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time,…
THIS...
It is FAAAAR easier to get a job when you have a job.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#46Sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm going through a crisis myself. I left a bad workplace a few months ago, and took some time off. Now that I'm back in job search mode, I'm also going through some physical health issues and the added stress has given me a lot of anxiety. I've tried meditation, yoga, etc. and nothing is helping. I'm having real physical symptoms and everyone is telling me it's all anxiety,…
I'd advise taking some time to disconnect. Full disconnect from phone, tech, internet and just focus on something else. Music, art, exercise, hiking, etc. I went through some pretty rough anxiety when I was laid off for the first time, the most helpful thing for me mentally was noping out onto the Appalachian Trail for a week or so. After a couple of days away from it all, my brain finally started to relax and I came back with a better sense of focus. Ofc, I've always enjoyed hiking so ymmv. But I think the most important part was the disconnection.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#47If work is the only stable thing in your life, you should try not to let it fall apart, but it is designed to support you financially, not emotionally. It can't hold you up by itself.
You're in Canada rather than the US, so there are fewer barriers to professional mental health care, as far as I am aware. Go see a psychiatrist or clinical therapist.
You have had four major stressors in one year, and then piled on change social behaviors and change in sleep habits. It's justified. Go talk with a pro so they can hold you together with duct tape and baling wire while working out a plan for more permanent repairs.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#48Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time,…
I agree with this. What you likely need is time and space to reconnect with whatever brings you joy. Ability to put your personal life first. What you’re experiencing is probably normal. I was in my mid 30s when a string of tragedies/major bad life events happened and 40 now. Things normalized. Some good things started happening again. But it’s not something to solve, it’s something to learn to live with and that just takes time and emotional exploration. The friend making dynamic that happens in this phase of life doesn’t make it any easier. It can be hard but find a shoulder to lean on. For me, reconnecting with childhood best friends helped me reconnect with myself in a way.
Good luck. Email in profile if you need a chat.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#49I'm really sorry to hear this.
I can't say anything I've been through approaches what you've gone through. However, I have been burnt out recently with chronic health issues. I have some PTSD from some child abuse I went through, which means I struggle with burnout and stress a fair amount.
The hardest thing I've is the pressure we put on ourselves. Nobody is judging us harder than ourselves. There's nothing wrong with finding a work environment that is pretty laid back, and cut yourself lots of slack. I did this when my first child was born, and knew having a kid would really push me, especially given my abuse background. I stuck with a pretty 'maintenance mode' project, and wasn't stressing too much about work. I was certainly lucky to be in that kind of situation.
Definitely seek out mental health help (maybe you are as you're on a mental health break?). There are a lot of techniques for overcoming PTSD. EMDR, for example, is one very effective technique. There's also somatic psychotherapy. You can do this. Seek out support. And if you don't like your therapist, don't hesitate to switch. A good therapist can be a very personal decision.
If you work at a good place, and you feel safe doing so, maybe consider talking to your supervisors about your situation? I think it's tricky knowing whether to do this, and maybe you feel safe, but maybe you're afraid of the consequences? Both would be understandable. If you have a lot of trust in your workplace, talking about it would at least give them context for what you're going through, and you might be able to collaborate on a path forward that gets you help and gets you to a place in your career you can be laid back for a while. I've had positive results talking about my own issues to colleagues, but I know not every work place or boss is the same...
Culturally, Westerners are supposed to be cheery and happy all the time. I don't think this is reasonable. Forgive yourself and cut yourself lots of slack. I'm can be somewhat grumpy a fair amount, especially when sleep is impacted! Your negative emotions are perfectly valid and I think it's a shame we all feel stigmatized by expressing them in social situations
Best of luck to you!
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#50Priotize health for sure. That's the base. Everything else will come easier on a foundation of good health.
Thanks so kindly for the confidence of this statement. I feel like I’m gaslighting myself - if that makes any sense. So many confusing lines of thought that all seem valid, that settling on one just seems tough.
Perhaps try meditating? It's works for my negatively racing mind, usually. My thoughts are clouds, the state I wish for is a blue sky where clouds that appear are quickly dissolved or blown away. Try the trial of Headspace. I think they nicely hit the balance of not trying to force it, just never stop trying. An empty mind can feel very nice.
I never sunk as deep as you though. I get weeks of "stuck on negative issues in my life". Daily meditation of only 10 min already seems to help, I am by no means an expert by the way. Headspace helped me and when I try meditating now, I hear the voice of the Headspace woman (you can also select a man) talking to myself. When I feel bad again I may sign up for the service, but as said the 10 part trial is nice already.
Edit: 2 times meditation advice in 5 min ;) As below, it may not help very much very fast, still, after trying to actively calm my mind 10 min I usually feel better already. Even when it "fails" for 9.5 out of the 10 min.
No relation to Headspace btw ;)