Hi OP,
Don't apologize at all... that's what this website is for... free expression.
I'm on the autistic spectrum too, by the way, I just had a fistful of THC pills.
And just so we're clear... how do you define "work"? That's a loaded word.
I was nearly recruited into the CIA around the same time as Joshua Shulte and I'm approximately the same age as him. Here's a publicly available article about him:
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/06/13/the-surreal-ca...
I've been burnt out since I had to make a joke about this not being high school at a yet another K Street cocktail event back around 2016.
Imagine someone being purposefully wrong in the same sing song tone bullies used to say "You can't be aggressive in school." and how their faces go white and their hands shake when you just smirk and go "we're not at school" and eye the letter opener you put on your desk after Charlie Hebdo -- it's like there's this set of people who repeat the same rhetoric as the 70s/80s/90s, with the difference being there is no draft, no great war, no big evil forcing anyone to make... so many choices people made between when I got my first job as a sandwich artist until today.
I haven't really finangled ending the burnout, found happiness, nor held a full time w2 role for a full year since the Obama administration... but I do have a weed card and a bunch of cash in my credit union's checking account after selling out of my IRA for a third time, because some folks in the autism community are less helpful about connecting you with full time roles if you prefer... adults.
Like for example, I did one interview with the Texas Department of Public Safety, who acknowledged they'd have hired me but had to hire someone else due to... veteran's preference?
Maybe I should have explicitly said I'd prefer to work someplace in private industry, for more money? I was raised Catholic, and Iraq was a war crime, so I'm limited in my options.
It was pretty frustrating being told that there are people who will misunderstand on purpose to the point you should alter your creative pursuits, and on a long enough timeline that starts to appear purposeful, especially paired with not connecting you with more practical roles.
I probably shouldn't be so sarcastic, but I'm unemployed and it's the weekend, so I don't really have much incentive to self censor in my replies to questions posted on the internet, especially when yet again my phone or whatever is acting up during spooky season -- the last time I felt this uncertain (and this annoyed that I shouldn't), I was telling people at a dinner that I don't want to help kill brown people with robots... but I'm hoping for a bit of a restart.
Anyways, I'd try to go for a hike or something if it's warm enough OP -- maybe go get yourself a cute little cortado and have a sit someplace you wouldn't normally go? It's the weekend... try not to think about "work". I've seen soooo many places during covid have one employee be rude to me as another sits in the corner doing nothing... and then the store closes (along with the whole company sometimes).
You might be getting overly anxious... try to chill out.
(And sorry if this comes off rude, I wrote it on the spot while cleaning out my little black book.)